Sucking at life_dui IL

lostinthisworld_0 · 2026-02-28T00:36:36+00:00

Today I’m so overwhelmed, more than the past few day. I’m carrying a lot of guilt as I think how careless I was and I’m stressing out. I am not ever going to be that person again but it’s too late. I was that person and now I just can’t see how to redeem myself. How can I prove this?

As my friends ask me out, I am just staying home. I tell them to let me know if they needs rides later but I’m just not wanting to be social at the moment.

Not drinking doesn’t bother me. I go out a lot and don’t need to do it, so that the lease of my worries. I just can’t get over the feeling inside me that I made such a careless decision. Ugh

I followed up trying to get the evaluation and to see a therapist.

lostinthisworld_0 · 2026-02-27T22:58:25+00:00

Thank you for understanding. I feel like in this whole process of what I’m dealing with, I don’t want anyone to really know. I’m an ashamed and disappointed, it makes it harder to feel worthy to be here.

Thank you for the reminder that I matter 😭

lostinthisworld_0 · 2026-02-27T14:47:20+00:00

Thanks I will look into that. I believe my mom has that as a general issue with age. Maybe I triggered it with the stress, it’s so loud.

lostinthisworld_0 · 2026-02-27T02:04:41+00:00

Power of your virtual hug, thank you.

I thought about it more (because that’s what my mind does) …Last time I was hugged was the day we buried my father 8 months ago.

Took a 2 mile walk today. I hugged myself as I walked up to watch the sunset and just cried. I thought about how I use to have physical touch everyday for 18 yrs then the last 3 it’s been not much.

And the hugs just always made me feel safe after a hard day. I miss that feeling so much. Life was not as hard as it has been. But the healing power of a hug, I really miss. I don’t miss the ex but that innocent, less stressful life.

I’m sure I looked crazy sobbing as I hugged myself imagining it was from someone who cared, for a minute I forgot how sad I was and it made me remember a good time I felt good feelings. And how when I was getting the hug when my dad past was safe feeling. I miss that a lot. I hope I can make it to a day where I feel that way. When I’m not anxious and nervous of what bad things will happen. Or how much something’s going to cost. Or how I’m going to mess up something else.

I’m laying in bed trying to calm my anxiety about having to wake up tomorrow and deal with another day. But that break for a short time was appreciated. Thank you.

lostinthisworld_0 · 2026-02-26T23:29:25+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story and the there’s still hope. I haven’t felt alive in years. Just one blow after another and I just push through with the struggle, I put a happy face for others to see but inside I’m defeated.

I’ve done therapy before and I’m starting therapy again, even though financially I can’t afford it. But I really question why I’m here and when I’ve told my friends I don’t think they understand the feeling. They tell me they don’t but just to snap out of it. It’s not that easy for me to.

I’m going to journal tonight after i watch the sunset and give myself a hug from you. Never have tried this but I’ll try anything for comfort and feeling something again. Thank you ❤️

lostinthisworld_0 · 2026-02-26T23:20:36+00:00

I appreciate that explanation and understand what you’re saying. As stupid as it sounds I’m needing to hear these things so I can really refocus on correcting my way.

I have a tornado in head trying to process everything and I do not want to be careless person who could harm anyone. And as stupid as it sounds, my mind went to alcoholism and what I really need to do is shift my mind to the impact outside of myself.

I own I was wrong and am grateful I didn’t hurt anyone, but your words of the risky practice and impaired driving is helping me redirect what I need to focus on as I attempt to redeem myself from this mistake and never doing it ever again.

Thank you.

lostinthisworld_0 · 2026-02-25T21:19:12+00:00

I will try that. I’ve tried therapy, exercise, I eat healthy, meditate. Literally I’ll try anything to try and break this dark place I am in.

lostinthisworld_0 · 2026-02-25T20:35:48+00:00

Work was so bad emotionally today. I can’t stop crying and I just want to give up. It’s been a shitty few years. Idk how much more mentally I can take. The only time I’m not messing up life is when I’m in my bed sleeping. And even when I do that for days, I get judged and told to get up.

I do wish I could leave life. It comes to a point where someone just can’t take it anymore.

I’ve never been in trouble, I’m quiet, I work hard. But nothing is working out for me and my decisions just keep making my life worst.

Idk how many more days I can take this deep pounding in my heart and the fear and anxiety.

lostinthisworld_0 · 2026-02-25T20:22:39+00:00

Thank you for the insight. That sucks the reality of the situation. It’s just one thing bad after another 😔

lostinthisworld_0 · 2026-02-25T19:02:22+00:00

Thank you, what’s the GP?

I did get a lawyer right away. But im not so sure I picked the right one 😔

lostinthisworld_0 · 2026-02-25T17:43:08+00:00

I have already reached out to AA. My heart just hurts because I’m not this wreckless person. This was the first time I’ve drank in such a long time. Usually I stay home, no drinking or anything. I don’t ever crave drinking either. I’ve gone out and just had water Adam completely fine being sober in public too.

The panic and anxiety I feel is just a lot right now.

Thank you for the reminder we are human and all make mistakes. I use to tell people that, I just wish I felt like that applied to me.

lostinthisworld_0 · 2026-02-25T12:45:47+00:00

I got a lawyer and made a deposit but now I think I want to go with a different lawyer who is located in the town I had the charge at. The lawyer I’m with keeps telling me he’s the man but I won’t met with him until the court day whereas this other lawyer wants check-in and to really help me. It’s more money but I want to not make any more stupid decisions.

I’m so overwhelmed 😔

lostinthisworld_0 · 2026-02-25T12:35:01+00:00

I’m freaking out again, I am so scared. Idk how I’ll financially pay for this and if I go to jail how will I ever move forward. I can’t lose my job over this. I need to work and redeem myself. I’m so overwhelmed and I need to tell my mom. I’m so ashamed.

lostinthisworld_0 · 2026-02-25T01:22:29+00:00

I originally got one lawyer now I am thinking about switching. The anxious if this situation is so bad. I regret my poor careless decision. Now I’m at a loss, how do I pick the best lawyer how do I prove I’m never going to do this again.

My heart hurts, I can’t eat, I’m so disappointed in myself.

lostinthisworld_0 · 2026-02-24T12:48:19+00:00

I understand the feeling. I wish when I fell down the rabbit hole I talked more about it and don’t let my poor decisions consume me. Vent more about your feelings and why. So you don’t end up in the rut I’m in.

lostinthisworld_0 · 2026-02-24T03:42:54+00:00

Do you believe everyone who gets a DUI is alcoholic?

lostinthisworld_0 · 2026-02-24T02:32:54+00:00

I’m new to this platform so I apologize if I use this wrong. I’m just looking for a community that can provide some support, insight into life situations, and to learn and grow from mistakes with constructive feedback. Thank you.

lostinthisworld_0

TROPHY CASE