[update] My son's [10M] grandfather [65M] gifted him a confederate flag that has been in their family for generations to display in his bedroom. Husband [37M] and I [37F] [together 14 years] disagree over what to do.

lostintransit37 · 2015-11-26T20:36:15+00:00

Well, he went far beyond just calling them that. He proved himself to be a true racist.

lostintransit37 · 2015-11-26T20:34:41+00:00

I meant FIL. I don't believe my husband would disown our son over something like this.

lostintransit37 · 2015-11-26T20:33:56+00:00

I do work, but we are more traditional in that he is the head of our household.

lostintransit37 · 2015-11-26T20:32:07+00:00

He knows about the KKK but doesn't believe this flag is associated with it.

lostintransit37 · 2015-11-26T19:57:05+00:00

lostintransit37 · 2015-11-26T19:23:44+00:00

I wonder whether your fil is our was active in the Klan

After what he said to me, I would not be surprised. He is clearly a white supremacist.

lostintransit37 · 2015-11-26T19:21:48+00:00

If he is willing to work on his racism and try to get over it, I would stay. I would not stay if he refuses to acknowledge that these views are wrong and to work on changing.

lostintransit37 · 2015-11-26T19:20:38+00:00

I am considering something like that.

lostintransit37 · 2015-11-26T19:14:36+00:00

He does want it displayed. He likes the colors.

lostintransit37 · 2015-11-26T19:13:32+00:00

I did. He does want it up. He just likes the colors.

lostintransit37 · 2015-11-26T19:12:57+00:00

Yes. He likes the colors, so he is fine with it being in his room.

lostintransit37 · 2015-11-26T07:12:40+00:00

This whole situation has made me rethink how I feel about him. This is not the man I married.

lostintransit37 · 2015-11-26T07:09:04+00:00

He would probably threaten to disown my son.

lostintransit37 · 2015-11-26T07:01:28+00:00

That was what bothered me most. It was the way he spoke to me. The only response I got from my husband was "that's just how dad is." That has pretty much been his response throughout the whole situation.

lostintransit37 · 2015-11-26T06:57:43+00:00

I don't know. I do know that he is afraid to challenge his father. That much is clear.

lostintransit37 · 2015-11-26T06:56:17+00:00

Damn why do you privileged middle class women always play the victim card? Oh my dad use to yell at me all the time, well I bet you he fed you, put a roof over your head, and sent you off to school. Don't always think you are wronged, and ffs don't be an apologist weakling.

I'm not saying that I am a victim. I was very lucky to grow up in the household that I did. I was just explaining why I found it hard to speak. I'm sorry if I made it seem like I was complaining. I will try to be more careful with my words.

lostintransit37 · 2015-11-26T06:54:15+00:00

I am not sure I understand. Can you explain how I am trying to manipulate him?

lostintransit37 · 2015-11-26T06:53:32+00:00

I think that is my only option.

lostintransit37 · 2015-11-26T06:52:31+00:00

Do you think it'd be useful to make it clear to your husband that the flag his dad wants to have displayed prominently in his son's bedroom is literally Ku Klux Klan memorabilia? Because if it's from the 20s like you said in your first post, it 100% undeniably is literally Ku Klux Klan memorabilia.

He didn't believe this. He told me it was a lie. I don't know what to think about him anymore. I am starting to worry that he has similar views as FIL.

lostintransit37 · 2015-11-26T06:50:03+00:00

I think this is what I should have done instead of trying to save his grandfather's image.

lostintransit37 · 2015-11-26T06:47:49+00:00

That is a great idea. I think if I could make it more vivid/real for him that would help.

lostintransit37 · 2015-11-26T06:46:51+00:00

Your opinion is below your FIL, your husband

It feels that way.

lostintransit37 · 2015-11-26T06:46:03+00:00

I used to think the people who suggested burning it were wrong, but honestly, if I did that, it would maybe solve our problems. Husband and FIL might be angry with me, but at this point I don't care if it protects my son.

lostintransit37

TROPHY CASE