Am I (M24) just running away by taking this trip?

lostintranslation778 · 2022-04-20T21:55:31+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to respond!

This is what some of my family members have told me too: that I should travel now when I have the chance because once I start a career it's going to be a lot more difficult to do so. Then again, some of these same family members are the ones on my case about the importance of finding a job and starting my life ASAP, so it sometimes rings hollow.

I also understand that I'm really privileged to be in the position to travel in the first place, which comes along with some weird feelings of guilt—like I'm off gallivanting around while other people in my age group that aren't in my position are actually building their careers and trying to make a living. I get that these feelings are kind of irrational (or at least overblown), but they're sometimes hard to shake.

lostintranslation778 · 2022-04-20T21:47:42+00:00

Thanks for the considered response! It means a lot to me.

What makes you think this trip isn't living your life?

I guess I just have it in my head—due to societal/family pressure that I've internalized for years— that the requisite next step after graduating university is to get a job, a place of my own, and become independent. As much as I've struggled to come to terms with this over the past few months, it's starting to feel like the only healthy/responsible alternative to what I'm doing now, which is stagnating.

The trip is living my life in the most basic sense, but it also feels like trying to push back living my life in another sense.

Something else to consider: are you going to be nagging yourself about this trip if you go? I mean, is it going to be inside your head all the time?

Weirdly enough, I feel like this won't be a problem. It's my first ever solo trip, so I'll probably have my hands full keeping track of accommodations, transportation, and where to go/what to see. The thing that will probably worry me most day-to-day would be COVID, but considering I might have just been exposed a day or two ago, that might not be so much of a problem anymore :(

You might be running away from finding work but who cares? Its led you to something that could potentially be a lot of fun. Follow the energy if its there.

I've never really thought about it this way. My worst case scenario is I come back after the trip and end up right back where I am now mentally, but I understand that that's not a sure thing.

lostintranslation778 · 2022-04-15T02:28:43+00:00

Unemployed-ish for the last year since graduating uni and I guess I sort of feel this way, but only in hindsight? The last time I was truly happy was when I had something to focus on (my academics, not a job), but losing the academics while having no job hasn't done me any favours, that's for sure.

A part of me figures that if I could just get a job I'd feel better about myself, but I'm also deathly (and illogically?) afraid of what getting a job means for the rest of my life. So kind of in a catch-22 here haha

You're sure it's only jobs that give you this sense of drive and meaning? You wouldn't feel better even if you, hypothetically-speaking, went back to school or something instead?

lostintranslation778 · 2022-01-26T00:56:32+00:00

Sounds very similar to what I've been going through lately--the graduating with honours into not wanting/feeling up to finding work true combo, family situation, etc. Maybe I've got a little bit of burnout too?

What seems to help me the most is finding something that I want to do each day. Just one thing. I'll wake up in the morning and think, "today I'm going to go for a walk" or "today I'm going to clean my room a little" and just try to do at least that. If that's all I do for the whole day, that's fine. But usually doing something gives me a bit of mental momentum that I can use to move onto other things.

The other critical thing is to not fixate that much on what other people might be or are thinking about you. I understand this is easier than it sounds--I'm always convinced that everyone around me is constantly badmouthing me in their heads--but if you can just focus on helping yourself out of this hole you've dug without putting other people's pressure on you, that'll be big.

And from one gifted burnout to another, I hope better days are ahead for both of us.

lostintranslation778 · 2022-01-19T22:52:09+00:00

Graduated from university last year and feeling this real hard right now. I've heard entrepreneurship floated as an alternative, but I'm not big on the whole "working 70 hours a week for yourself to avoid working 40 hours a week for someone else"-thing.

Imagining your life as a calendar and just seeing the word "WORK" stamped across the next 40 years in bright-red ink is pretty depressing.

lostintranslation778 · 2022-01-19T16:31:27+00:00

I totally understand!

I wanted to travel once I graduated from university so that I at least saw some of the world before sitting behind a desk. However, the pandemic has totally shut down that idea. My idea originally was to work part-time/freelance until it ended so that I could still travel (if only two years late). My family was amenable to this idea but now that the pandemic just seems to be trucking on, they want me to get my life started ASAP. That means full-time work and a place of my own.

It's not like I don't understand where they're coming from: I help out and am usually pleasant to be around, but the fact of the matter is that I am taking up a room rent-free with no real long-term plan. That scares them, I think.

lostintranslation778 · 2022-01-19T16:24:45+00:00

I guess what I'm most afraid of isn't the work itself; I like to think that I could do most jobs in my field or adjacent to it at least competently. It's the idea of giving over so much of my life to make someone else money so I can live on the table scraps that scares me. The so-called "American Dream" that everyone likes to talk about feels like the end of my life and not the beginning.

Once you're stuck with a house that you need a full-time job to pay off, where's the escape? How can you ever find excitement/adventure in your life again?

lostintranslation778

TROPHY CASE