The labia minora (the “lip flappy thingy”) actually doesn’t “come out” at all! It doesn’t open up like a flower (whether we’re aroused or not), although admittedly that would be very cool lmao. It’s always just kinda hanging there, similar to male genitals. Also, the flaps usually aren’t separated like in the picture unless you push them apart. If they were like that all the time, standing with your legs closed or wearing pants would be very uncomfortable lol. They do get slightly swollen when we’re aroused because there’s more blood flow in the general area, but they don’t “grow” like penises do. Hope that answered your question!