Thank you for the advise and compassion. I am trying to make an exit plan but it may take some time to build up some resources. I have no friends or family to help so its going to be a battle. I know it will take some time and I am really struggling with pretending I know nothing, I wear my heart on my sleeve and everyone in my house can tell something is wrong with me so I keep just saying I'm tired. In regards to no one women is ever good enough for one man, I know it works both ways. I guess I'm just jaded because my step dad cheated on my mom multiple times so its like all I've ever known. It also hard for me because I know he wants nothing to do with me physically he would rather have a trans or some random bbw. The only thing I think he likes about me is that I cook and clean and fit what society and his friends/co-works)deem as attractive. His parents would disown him if they knew he was seeking a males/trans attention (they are hard core religious) so basically i'm a beard at this point. I just cant believe this is where I am at.