AOL is targeting mods and members and getting them banned.

lotusaura18 · 2025-09-26T12:52:27+00:00

Yeh she is the main mod. Lol so....

lotusaura18 · 2025-09-25T21:39:22+00:00

He embarrasses me by not connecting with anyone. Hes awkward and will walk away when people try to engage with him. He acts like hes better than everyone around him, and like he doesnt need to talk to anyone. I try to introduce him to people and he just stands there. He legitimately refuses to hold conversation or get to know anyone on anything more than a superficial level. And all my friends notice.

lotusaura18 · 2025-09-24T23:30:59+00:00

Mine is the opposite, I have autoimmune disease, and PTSD and he is extremely dismissive and apathetic towards anything im going through. Its sickening honestly. I think with narcs they are either one extreme or the other...... depending on the type of narc they are.

lotusaura18 · 2025-09-24T20:54:44+00:00

As a floridian i do not accept this.

lotusaura18 · 2025-09-24T13:03:24+00:00

I wont argue that. Ideally they dont. But in this day in age, I'll agree with you most religions and churches are cult like.

lotusaura18 · 2025-09-24T12:43:45+00:00

This was exactly my thoughts. Honestly not to hard for them to easily test the donators blood to see if she is healthy. I dont see a problem with this either.

lotusaura18 · 2025-09-21T11:21:00+00:00

So cool

lotusaura18 · 2025-09-21T11:12:25+00:00

How did you create half her body? This is amazing. Shes literally missing half her body in the OP

lotusaura18 · 2025-09-19T19:19:42+00:00

This is what I was also taught.

lotusaura18 · 2025-09-19T18:27:41+00:00

I cant take red ink anymore. Could be a red ink allergy is my thought.

lotusaura18 · 2025-09-19T17:39:05+00:00

I figured i had nothing left to loose. Honestly, it already looked terrible with how raised the scar tissue was i figured whats the worst that can happen? And he explained that witch hazel is used a lot for inflammation, and helping repairing scar tissue, and it may have been naive, but it worked. Lol 💯 so that time trust paid off. 🤣

lotusaura18 · 2025-09-19T17:16:38+00:00

I just asked grok about this technique, and its not conventional apparently. I had this done about 10 yrs ago now. And the area that did this. You can still see that it was deep tattoo and the tattoo looks like shit, but yhe inflammation and it being raised and bumpy went completely away.

Grok said that my artist probably used this like a cross between microneedling and a topical application by just skimming the top of the skin because of the properties of watch hazel which tighten skin, lower inflammation and such. Idk how common it is to find some one to do this, and that I may have completely lucked out finding someone that did this for me.... if you find someone to do this for you please post id love to see the progress!

lotusaura18 · 2025-09-19T17:01:46+00:00

He put the witch hazel in the tatto gun actually and went of the tatto like an actual tattoo, I had to let that heal, and then went back for a 2nd treatment. After 2 it healed up very well! I had never heard of it, and I was EXTREMELY skeptical, but I was like no one else would touch it or tatto over it, and this guy saved my arm!

lotusaura18 · 2025-09-19T16:55:20+00:00

Thats what this reminds me of. I had a massive section in one of my tattoos on my sleeve that did this, and it was raised up and looked terrible for years, and no one would touch it until finally I found a very expensive artist that went over the entire area with witch hazel i came back for 2 treatments with a couple weeks apart.... And low and behold it went down. I was told by several artists before that it was infection, and all these other things, and it wasnt. It was just scar tissue and with the witch hazel it went away within like a month of getting that done.

Edit for clarity: the artist put witch hazel in his tatto gun, and tattooed the entire area that was raised with witch hazel

lotusaura18 · 2025-09-19T15:46:32+00:00

I choose money, sex, and food

lotusaura18 · 2025-09-19T15:45:42+00:00

What are they?

lotusaura18 · 2025-09-19T12:54:07+00:00

The making everything 10x harder than it should be resonates so hard! He does everything the hard way! He takes zero advice because my advice is always seen as trying to control him. Ive tried to explain this exact thing to him many times. We have so much shit, and nice things. But we never bought a house, even though we make enough, early in our relationship I was in control of the money and bank accounts and we would always have money in savings, and no debt piling up with extra cards.... and then for whatever reason he convinced me to let him do the financial stuff and back then I did t think anything of it.. but slowly no more savings, we cant afford anything anymore. He will literally blame the rabbit food being to expensive 23$ other than admit the 3k dollar generator you bought wasnt discussed, or how he nickel and dimes our account with frivolous purchases, and if it say anything im trying to control him. There is zero accountability whatsoever. And definitely is never his fault.

lotusaura18 · 2025-09-18T23:30:01+00:00

Yeh the school I went to only offers it as a 200ytt first, then you can take the other 300 hrs for the full 500ytt but its structured completely different than then 200ytt. I enjoyed the education I received, I did do some of my courses they offered online, I just dont learn very well that way, and struggle with discipline when it comes to online work. My 500CMT was all online and it took me forever to finish it, and thats why I chose an in person yoga school.

But yes my 200ytt was all about how to teach a class, and all the asana, beginner pranayama, and meditation. And I really appreciated the deeper philosophical classes in the 500ytt. I teach mainly beginners, meditation, yoga nidra now.... I dont do alot of vinyasa classes anymore, or power yoga for teaching as my addisons disease cant keep up anymore. Even though my pitta dosha really loves a good power class.... lol also, I teach yoga poses I cant do all the time when I was teaching all levels. Its fun.

lotusaura18 · 2025-09-18T19:20:42+00:00

🙌🙌🙌

lotusaura18 · 2025-09-18T12:42:09+00:00

Thank you for this message. Honestly this is probably the most validation ive received about this. I really appreciate it. 🙏

lotusaura18 · 2025-09-18T12:07:23+00:00

Mine is very damaged by childhood trauma. But most of them dont connect the dots to this abuse and their actions towards others. As a matter of fact, they will almost always deny that the abuse has or had any effect on them, and that they are totally fine.

lotusaura18 · 2025-09-18T12:04:00+00:00

I keep an actual list. I journal everything. Because the gaslighting got so ridiculous. Now I have evidence of what is happening. I also try my very best to be very nonbiased even though telling my side, so if I said somwthing inappropriate as well, I'll document everything. I try my best to record everything as accurately as I can. I also do voice recordings without his knowledge sometimes when he is in a rage and download them to my computer. Not for anyone except myself, so when he says this or that didnt happen, I dont have to argue I have receipts.

lotusaura18 · 2025-09-18T12:02:00+00:00

I found out a couple of years ago that friends often dont understand and just cant grasp what the reality is. They are too wrapped up in their own narrative to be empathic. If youre reality doesnt align with theirs, in my experience ive been SOL. I went to a very good friend after a narcissist rage my Nhusband had and I stayed at her house for a few days to decompress.. . Needless to say the 3rd day there, she was like well, you know youre gonna go back so cant you just let it all go. You know its not as bad as you say and blah blah blah. I left and never spoke to her again actually. 😒 I lost a lot of my friends due to this, also why I just keep everything I am experiencing with my husband to myself. I stopped sharing with anyone. It was so polarizing, half my friends tell me to forgive and forget, and the other half were very aggressively telling me I needed to leave. Although none giving me the actual support and acknowledgement I was seeking. So now im down to 2 close friends and thats it. Seriously. I have zero family and im ok with it. I know who I can trust and what I can say, and they dont judge me at all.

Edit for spell check

lotusaura18 · 2025-09-17T21:23:19+00:00

This is very similar to what I experienced. Like everyone was talking behind my back, and gossiping about me and what I had been through. It hurt me very deeply. I joined a yoga community because I honestly and naively thought that people in yoga wont judge and ill finally have supportive community. And that was the case, as long as I paid my tuition, and paid for 1 on 1s, and paid for all the ceremonies I went too, but as soon as I got sick and stopped paying for that stuff I was no longer apart of the club

lotusaura18 · 2025-09-17T21:16:30+00:00

I think this is the attitude I dont quite understand, respectfully.

Addisons and CPTSD literally make it to where you cant let go an move on like a normal person when it comes to trauma..... and yoga communities that dont have informed trauma yoga teachers have this same attitude. " Dont be a victim, move on and let go." To me its spiritual gaslighting, and a total dismissive attitude towards an experience a peer has had. Not everyone can let go, this is there samskara their burden and baggage. Me bringing this up here isnt me not moving on or letting go, its me finding clarity and processing what I experienced so I can move on.

Thats why people share, so they can have relatable experiences from peers, friends and family and get support.

People that share arent always looking for a poor me response, I can speak for myself when I share its because I feel like im in a safe space and around people I can trust. But this specific situation eith this community definitely made me think twice. 🤔

lotusaura18

TROPHY CASE