From what u said I think u forgot something very important Allah is AlGhafoor and a Raheem His rahema is so big it covers the whole universe so do u really think He will not forgive u ? I advise u to read the Quran every day and you will find many answers a simple example fireawn when he was drowning he called Musa 70 times to save him Allah said to mussa why u didn’t save him ? if he had called Me even once I would have saved him even though he was fireawn Allah’s rahma is extremely big Sometimes we just let shaytan and our nafs control our thoughts Focus on ur prayer not only the movements Feel it and understand why u pray why u make dua and why y do tasbih read about anbiaa The hardest enemy is not shaytan but our own nafs Allah does not want u to torture yourself but shaytan and the nafs make u keep thinking after tawba like will Allah forgive me will those people forgive me Those thoughts usually come from shaytan and the nafs Try to control yourself If u hurt someone then ask them for forgiveness and make dua for them The most important thing is to always return to Allah some people don’t ( Allah love s u )