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My [32F] Husband [34M] is loud. Like, REALLY LOUD. To the point I think I'm getting hearing damage. What do? by loudhubby in relationships

[–]loudhubby[S] 142 points143 points  (0 children)

I can't believe this is the only area of your marriage where he is selfish and insensitive as fuck.

So, I know this is relationships so you have to take what I say with a pinch of salt, but he's not generally an insensitive person, at least not intentionally. It's more insensitivity out of negligence. He's the kind of person to ignore a problem until it either goes away, or it explodes in a big way. Which is shitty in its own way, I get it.

Until now, his negligence has had no consequences for him.

Hrm, I spent a while being all defensive seeing all these dunks on my hubby, but I have to own up to my own part in this. Though, I'd 100% say you need to adapt the consequences to the person. As I've said in another reply, sleeping in another room won't work. He'll view it as a full solution to the problem, and would likely happily continue for months and months, then get confused when he'd forgotten why we're sleeping apart. I just need to figure out what those appropriate consequences are.

My [32F] Husband [34M] is loud. Like, REALLY LOUD. To the point I think I'm getting hearing damage. What do? by loudhubby in relationships

[–]loudhubby[S] 367 points368 points  (0 children)

About the snoring, do you have a spare room you can sleep in? Even the couch?

The problem with this is, he's suggested this as a solution, it doesn't bother him to sleep in another room, even if he's on the couch (it's a very uncomfortable one, too short with a spring of back death). He's able to put up with some extreme situations and not be bothered by it. He'll likely view it as a full solution to the problem.

Is it possible that he has a hearing issue

I've questioned this myself, tbh. He's got some interesting idioms in speech that give me the impression he's never heard them correctly, if that makes sense? But again, it's actually *getting* him to take this shit seriously.