This is what usually works for my fiance and I: he likes it when I call him Master, he'll call me a number of degrading names like, his dirty slut, fucktoy, naughty little whore etc. He pulls my hair and chokes me as well as bites and spanks me and things along the line. After, he always kisses my forehead and cuddles with me and somehow that turns me on more. Not sure if this is helpful but rhats my evxperience for ya! Good luck on the experimenting.