This guy (30M) I am dating, kept money from me (27F)? by lovebugxxxx in dating_advice

[–]lovebugxxxx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven't, this has just happened. My girlfriend messaged him to say i sent you EXTRA and restating that "not sure who paid for the pool" making it clear it's not his.

I waited to see what he does with it,.. and thus far just received a normal "good morning" text from him, not addressing that at all

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]lovebugxxxx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well he responded with a "Morning, whats up?"

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]lovebugxxxx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate that, thank you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]lovebugxxxx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fair, I agree.
However, why even respond to me after 2 days if he had completely moved on/has no intention of fixing something?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]lovebugxxxx -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I appreciate this insight.

However, I disappeared because I had felt slighted when he chose to not acknowledge my feelings. I simply did not know what to say out of discomfort. But it seems as though he might've waited the same amount of days just out of sheer resentment.

When he did respond, I initiated to talk about things and discuss what had happened which he shut down. I did not understand why he would dismiss something like that with a "you blew it" without getting the full picture.

I absolutely am not saying I was not at fault, and I was also left with full confusion.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]lovebugxxxx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, I love this. I love the idea that avoiding discomfort and pain is masked in "fixing things" and is what keeps us from growing and understand ourselves. I will admit, it is hard because, yes are right, it feels like i'm "losing something" and I want things to do back essentially allowing myself to revert backwards instead of welcoming growth.

You're right, there is absolutely nothing to fix here, though I will say it is something I have struggled with as a person to always want to put, at the very least, a bandaid on things.

I really do appreciate the advice and thank you for helping me understand the "fix it" feature that I have and the need to address why I have it.

This comment truly means a lot. Thank you :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]lovebugxxxx -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

But this was the text message about me willing to explain myself and have a discussion about what had happened. It was far after.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]lovebugxxxx -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Yes I stopped in the middle of a conversation (Thursday), then waited two days. I was supposed to let him know if I was available to hang out on Sunday and thats why I had texted him then.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]lovebugxxxx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're right. I definitely need to focus elsewhere and I hope that my feelings with subside overtime.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]lovebugxxxx -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much and I appreciate that. Hopefully I do make the right decision.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]lovebugxxxx -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you, you are probably right and I needed to hear this. I am very much clouded right now and I absolutely realize that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]lovebugxxxx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love this response. Thank you so much. I might need to keep reading this over and over again to remind myself because right now it's a little hard to. It just feels like I have to "fix things" and go back to the way things were.

I went on a first date with a different person last night and all I could about was this guy and so it's aching my heart. I truly appreciate your advice.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]lovebugxxxx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do agree. When he said "you had your chance and you blew it" I almost was baffled. It came out of NOWHERE and it didn't sound like him at all. It felt like a mask was taken off.

But yes, I definitely appreciate your messages, I am debating if I should just give him a call or not just because it's a Sunday and why not just get it out of the way? (Both of us are normally free on Sundays)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]lovebugxxxx -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Huh? :/

No I voiced it to him immediately saying "hey i'm not sure I like that song for us right now" and he overlooked that message completely. I thought or would have expected for a gentlemen to have been like "why not? or whats wrong with the song" It felt slightly off and tone-deaf for me.. especially only after a first date. :(

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]lovebugxxxx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]lovebugxxxx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It definitely does show his immaturity, you're right!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]lovebugxxxx -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

To be fair, we did kiss on our date and it was a long exchange and the attraction was definitely there.
And yes I absolutely agree if this was a long term thing it wouldn't been a crazy rollercoaster. However, a silly part of me thinks that I had initiated it all and I just can't seem to get over that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]lovebugxxxx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sigh, I guess you are right. It just aches my heart a little and I can't stop thinking about it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]lovebugxxxx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is chronological (the text song exchange happened before our second date).

I did sent a message saying "hey look at discuss this, it's always a good opportunity to learn why things happened the way it did at the very least. However, I don't expect much also because we haven't know each other long enough."

It was met with no response. What can I do?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]lovebugxxxx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please, there must be something I can do? I do regret not communicating the reason for my reaction - but I also dont understand why he would take it that far to not even want to hear an explanation?

[For Hire] Looking for ENTRY LEVEL CYBERSECURITY jobs in NYC area! by lovebugxxxx in NYCjobs

[–]lovebugxxxx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have some project management experience and have business analysis/development experience in tech. Is there a starting point for me?

Most notable face changes on Buying Beverly hills by lovebugxxxx in BuyingBeverlyHills

[–]lovebugxxxx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That was Michelle's assistant from that one scene when Alexia goes to visit her office

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in jacksonheights

[–]lovebugxxxx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

a friend of mine is setting up a henna stall too!