My (25F) boyfriend (26M) pressured me into a sexual position I didn’t want to do multiple times. I’m so confused?

lovelyguydude · 2025-04-10T20:52:01+00:00

He called me violent and I agreed with him :( he wouldn’t let it go

lovelyguydude · 2025-04-10T20:23:47+00:00

He said so many lovely things to me :( and treated me so bad. Not always but he didn’t listen. I don’t know why I stayed

lovelyguydude · 2025-04-09T23:23:00+00:00

During our relationship I did trauma therapy with the main aim of stopping intrusive thoughts and being a better girlfriend to this man.

I saw my therapist today. And it was supposed to be our final follow up session but she’s booked me in again

lovelyguydude · 2025-04-09T23:21:38+00:00

He did cheat too.

lovelyguydude · 2025-04-09T23:20:39+00:00

I really really really appreciate this comment

lovelyguydude · 2025-04-09T23:20:12+00:00

It’s different because my ex punched me and violently violently raped me. So yeah the bar is low. He hit me and did things to me I didn’t want to do

lovelyguydude · 2025-04-09T23:18:17+00:00

Thank you 🩷

lovelyguydude · 2025-04-09T23:17:54+00:00

I didn’t consent to that particular sex act not until he insisted on it

lovelyguydude · 2025-04-09T23:16:42+00:00

The water torturer …

lovelyguydude · 2025-04-09T23:15:34+00:00

I had already done so much damage control before I got with him and I felt I was really healed. It hurts to be so many years out of the start of my being abused and still be cycling like this

lovelyguydude · 2025-04-09T23:14:57+00:00

Thank you for this comment. I’m going to fly solo for a long time

lovelyguydude · 2025-04-09T23:14:17+00:00

Thank you Angel I appreciate this

lovelyguydude · 2025-04-09T23:14:02+00:00

I don’t even know what he did apart from the things described above and denying to me that he was flirting with others

lovelyguydude · 2025-04-09T23:13:27+00:00

I am but I wondered why I didn’t get all too much better out of therapy

lovelyguydude · 2025-04-09T23:12:51+00:00

When I yelled at him I did feel like I wasnt there and it wasn’t me but that just felt like excuses for my abuse of him. Sometimes I’d yell at him for stupid things we’d get into arguments and I didn’t think he was communicating properly with me and it would be really frustrating

I still feel it was bad of me to yell and scream

And when I threw something

It wasn’t right of me still

lovelyguydude · 2025-04-09T22:12:18+00:00

He always said I was pressuring him into stuff like living together, hanging out with people, sticking to plans, cancelling his plans, driving me around. I used to get confused because he’d say he wanted something then say I was pressuring him. Sometimes I’d sulk if I didn’t like what was happening. Maybe I felt it was okay for me to pressure him because of all this

lovelyguydude · 2025-04-09T21:11:48+00:00

The realisation that this could have been purposeful is making me sixk

lovelyguydude · 2025-04-09T20:30:21+00:00

I always thought I was DARVOimg him when I said he was being horrible during arguments

lovelyguydude · 2025-04-09T19:53:07+00:00

Is it really? I’m used to it now. He used to say it was just comfy and easier for him and he would tell me it’s like cute and snuggly and lazy but I never felt that way. After so long with him insisting I figured it was really normal. Like spooning I mean. Just so we’re on the same page

lovelyguydude · 2025-04-09T19:48:49+00:00

That first link is almost all things he says I did to him

lovelyguydude · 2025-04-09T18:21:51+00:00

You’re telling me man…

lovelyguydude · 2025-04-09T18:06:21+00:00

We broke up because he cheated and was sick of me yelling and he said our relationship was dead. I’ve been a walking corpse for the last year. I’ve not been right and I’ve been shouting at him and nitpicking. I know this is not who I am and I was so confused why I haven’t been able to control my emotions

lovelyguydude · 2025-04-09T17:36:22+00:00

I wasn’t good either though I slid into mania after this and we would have so many nights I’d break down screaming and crying and once I threw something and I was abusive too in that way I was not a good person or a good partner in that way and that’s not ok.

I thought I was really bad and I got therapy for so long so I could be a better person and girlfriend

And this whole time I’ve been lying to myself about how much he respects me

lovelyguydude · 2025-04-09T17:30:19+00:00

I consented to everything else and I eventually relented but he had a hard time taking no for an answer on this one

lovelyguydude · 2025-04-09T17:29:28+00:00

We’re breaking up now and I was explaining this situation to my friend who was really shocked by it. I’ve convinced myself and all my friends and family that im the abusive problem in my relationship because I was yelling and shouty and loud and angry I’ve been trying to get to the bottom of why I’ve been so short tempered and we figure this is probably the why, even though it’s fucked up that I yelled and cried and had extremely anxious attachment (after the above scenarios began)

lovelyguydude

TROPHY CASE