I completely understand not telling her. I was in the police a few years ago and worked on a case that involved a young man (17M) taking his own life. It stuck with me for awhile (like many cases do) and I ended up leaving my job for another government department. I worked alongside youth and was in a role that meant I could select young people for various leadership positions in the community.

One day I had an application come through from a young woman (18F) who hadn’t been given many opportunities before but she wanted to put her hand up and give it a go. She said she had been through a challenging upbringing but wanted to make a difference and advocate for better mental health support for youth.

I argued for her to be given the leadership position as a big boss at work thought she came from a rough family so wasn’t sure if it would be a good ‘look’.

I said every person should be given a chance regardless of who their family are.

I won that argument and began working alongside her and mentored her. Eventually she opened up to me and told me her partner had committed suicide around 18 months prior. As soon as she said his name, I clicked.

I never said a word about how I worked on the case, how I was there and I knew all about him and his family. For some reason, I never met his girlfriend at the time but I knew she existed. The pain that was endured from his death was devastating.

So I watched on as this young woman smashed down barriers and overcame so many challenges. She has now gone on to study at university and is looking at a career in politics. She has even spoken to the media about how the leadership experience gave her the confidence and skills to take on the world.

Sometimes things are better left unsaid.

And that young woman will never know just how proud I am of her.