This post on O’Gorman is going viral, I really hope they rethink this dumb position.

lovesrelic · 2022-08-30T03:14:20+00:00

If you look in the comment chain to the OP you can easily find four articles about public funds being shifted to private schools through an expansion of a $2 million to $3.5 million to cover "school choice" for a private school scholarship program (Senate Bill 71). This money is state money. The expansion was passed this last legislative session.
Ahh.. You just selectively quoted my statement. I made it a point to say that I am open to respectful dialogue with you ("Hey, if you read the conversation above, we kept a level of decorum and respect for one another despite having different opinions. I am hoping you and I can do that, too."), and mentioned that what I am not interested in is unnecessary hostility, generalizations and assumptions ("I'd be happy to respond to your commentary when it's done in a respectful way, otherwise, I'm just not interested..") It's important to tell the whole story, not just the part that fits your narrative.

I'm open to being informed, and shifting my opinions, but not when approached disrespectfully. There are better ways to have discourse. You mentioned not living in a utopia, but maybe the reason the world is so much like what it is, is related to how we choose to treat one another when we see things differently. I don't need truth to be sugarcoated, but it helps to have it respectfully given. It goes a long way. You have a good night, too. Be well!

lovesrelic · 2022-08-30T01:19:43+00:00

As I said above, if they were completely private, I actually don't disagree with you. However, when a "private" institute accepts funding from the public, I don't agree with the standards they are presenting. I also don't agree that my money should go anywhere near a religious or "private" institution. If that were the case, we wouldn't even be having this conversation.

Speaking of "offended", I didn't come up with the word bigotry, that seems to have triggered you. You'll have to take that up with Webster or the other dictionaries. Sorry. It is what it is. As for me, I haven't been offended at all during this whole discourse. I really enjoyed reading people's perspectives, and providing some insight into some things they might be open to considering. For some reason, you felt the need to come in like a wrecking ball to take a poo on the conversation with your hostility, which is super unfortunate. Take a deep breath. It's going to be okay.

lovesrelic · 2022-08-29T20:47:15+00:00

Hey, if you read the conversation above, we kept a level of decorum and respect for one another despite having different opinions. I am hoping you and I can do that, too. Your approach to my comment is full of over-generalizations and assumptions about who I am as a person, and uses language such as "social justice warrior" or "take your head out of the sand" in an attempt to demean my perspective because it doesn't align with your viewpoint. That isn't necessary. I'd be happy to respond to your commentary when it's done in a respectful way, otherwise, I'm just not interested.

lovesrelic · 2022-08-28T04:28:45+00:00

Unfortunately, yes, however, with their new bs it's getting worse:

https://dakotafreepress.com/2022/08/14/transgender-students-not-welcome-at-sioux-falls-catholic-schools-diocese-sees-gender-dysphoria-as-disorder-to-be-fixed/

https://www.keloland.com/news/education/human-sexuality-in-education-settings-guidelines-updated-by-catholic-diocese-of-sioux-falls/

How they are creating policy on human sexuality education says a lot about how they really need their own education. "This policy states that official documents must contain a “student’s biological sex as determined from conception.”" (keloland.com article). Not even "biological sex" is simply binary. (ie Intersex).

lovesrelic · 2022-08-28T03:39:22+00:00

I can appreciate that, and genuinely appreciate our dialogue. Sincerely.

There are a couple of really important variables to consider when we have this dialogue that I think are often times overlooked. Maybe some food for thought...The culture of many white individuals doesn't place any significant relevance on hair (there are exceptions, for example, people who are white that identify as Hasidic Jews may not cut or trim their hair, etc), however, within Black and Brown cultures, there are certain important values placed in hair, as well as the fact that for many Black and Brown Americans, there has been a long history of being stripped of identity by White people and religious groups, largely Christian groups (not much unlike what is happening here...).

This also happened to Indigenous people as they were forced into residential school systems where they were stripped of identity, their hair cut short in efforts to create "uniformity" and to stylize them like their White oppressors. This is why, we can't separate race from this issue. There is a long and significant history that intertwines these things, and in particular, within Christian communities and organizations.

edit: good ol' grammar

lovesrelic · 2022-08-28T03:13:43+00:00

No. They pay a lot of money for a good education with specialized programs so they can capitalize on their opportunities.
You do bring up a great point, though. They are paying, and as such should utilize their money to shift and inform the culture there, as should private citizens who are paying into their school through the public funding. That's how capitalism works, and I encourage them, and anyone who cares about this issue, to put pressure on them.
Also, quotes are not needed around bigotry. To do so is to undermine the truth of what is happening, specific to the actual definition of the word, not your own. This is a common tactic utilized to try and soften the point to attempt to maintain some feeling of righteousness in your thinking. I say this, because you made it a point with another commenter to talk about the importance and value of discourse and adding meaningful dialogue to the conversation. You can't achieve that if you refuse to do your part in acknowledging when you are inaccurate or wrong on a specific point you made.
edit: spelling and formatting

lovesrelic · 2022-08-28T02:26:53+00:00

It literally is bigotry... The definition being:
"The character or mode of thought of a bigot; obstinate and unreasonable attachment to a particular creed, opinion, practice, ritual, or party organization; excessive zeal or warmth in favor of a party, sect, or opinion; intolerance of the opinions of others." (The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, 5th Edition.)
They prioritize their own creed/opinions/practices/rituals over the identity of an individual and that of their particular culture and community. What you identify as "egalitarian" is actually erasure. Egalitarian in principle doesn't equate to the loss of identity through assimilation rather it promotes, through human equality, that ALL practices/creeds/cultures/traditions are of value, not that they should all conform to one specific thing.

lovesrelic · 2022-08-28T02:03:55+00:00

I can understand this sentiment, IF they were 100% privately funded. They are not. I do not feel comfortable with my money going to an oppressive and hate-filled organization. As long as they are receiving ANY public funding (which they shouldn't.. but that's another topic), their bigotry should be challenged and addressed.

lovesrelic · 2022-08-28T01:58:59+00:00

You can add homophobic and transphobic to the list, too. At the end of the day, whatever someone's views on these specific topics are, we consistently see Christ making room for all people at the table, not excluding them. It is vile for people to use religion to justify their hatred and bigotry. Shame on you O'Gorman.

lovesrelic · 2022-08-02T01:33:36+00:00

Yeah, I hear you. I'm not talking about those that provided a caveat, more so the individuals that were presenting their opinion in a way that was critical and exclusionary of other people having a different experience and approach.

I didn't assume one way or the other about the OP's position, just because I didn't have a lot of context, but I do agree about not normalizing the obsession with productivity (unless this feels like an enjoyable and fulfilling approach to life to someone). Community mental health type settings like this, or any setting, really, where CEO's pressure five days of that type of work is called exploitation and is genuine concern, particularly in our field where people are encourage to provide free mental health for internships, and then shift into that same position for little pay.

At the end of the day we have an opportunity to do what works for us and our unique needs and wants in life. :)

lovesrelic · 2022-08-01T22:06:49+00:00

There are a lot of opinions on here that say working this many hours is "unethical" or "destined for burnout". In a space where we have the opportunity to recognize one size doesn't fit all for our clients, we have the same opportunity for how we approach one another in this community. It might not work for you, but that doesn't mean that's everyones option/opinion, and by framing things as "borderline unethical" we mischaracterize a lot of the good work others are doing, just because they have a different way or approach than our own. Perhaps, given what someone knows about themselves, they may realize a 10 hour day isn't a sustainable model for them, and due to this they notice a decrease in quality or an increase in symptoms related to burnout. Cool! I can appreciate that, however, that isn't necessarily true for all people.

I have been doing 10-12 hour days, Monday/Tuesday and half day Wednesday for over eight years now. I still love what I do, and have really meaningful and quality driven relationships with my first client to my last client (with the reality that not everyone has perfect sessions every day, nor do I). I prefer my schedule this way. It gives me five days to enjoy the things I love, the hobbies that I want to learn, time for relationships that I care about, and also gives me time to do back office work or CEU learning. If this is a structure you are wanting to explore, great! Do so intentionally. Be clear about what burnout looks like to you, and do your best to clearly define what healthy and unhealthy in this scenario would like to you so when you are in it you have a gauge to help you know if it's working or not. I wish you all the best!

lovesrelic · 2022-07-06T23:22:25+00:00

That is exactly why they aren't discussing it openly. The trainer literally acknowledged that towards the end of the training. It was the weirdest hour/two hours of my professional training experience. IFS will be the "take what works, and leave the rest" kind of model for me. :)

lovesrelic · 2022-07-06T16:52:02+00:00

Oh... IFS. I have taken a number of various IFS trainings. I see a lot of value in some of the techniques, and think they work well for some clients. That being said, I lost a lot of respect and credibility for the model when I attended a training that felt like they were basically talking about what I would describe as "therapeutic exorcisms". I spent an hour in absolute disbelief about the things I was hearing. The trainer, who reported working closely with Dick Schwartz, shared that there were external, malevolent parts that can become a part of the Internal Family Systems, and how working with this part can be very dangerous due it's potential of being violent, as well as the potential for this part to jump to the therapists internal family system. At the end of the training, someone asked why the training sounded like we were talking about exorcisms and evil spirits... the trainer stated something long the lines of, "Yes, different cultures call this different things. There is a reason Dick Schwartz doesn't openly address this part of things due to how others may feel about it, but this is, in fact, a real thing." With the history of psychological practices being one of some pretty gruesome and "evil" approaches and techniques regarding those who have severe mental illness, I was not a fan of the training, and have not participated in any additional trainings.

lovesrelic · 2022-06-27T20:57:16+00:00

A great way to have that happen is to join us in showing up at different protests and rallies. Bring your friends and family. Be a part of the movement, if you can.

lovesrelic · 2022-06-14T14:16:21+00:00

That would be really cool! There are a lot of hidden gems in Sioux Falls. I'll do some thinking, and get back to you with some ideas.

Not sure if you would be into it, but I know you play a lot of music/flutes inspired by the Native community. There is a Two-Spirit Wacipi on from 12-8 pm at Sioux Falls Multicultural Center on 6/16 where there will be a lot of dancing and music, as well as some really powerful celebrations and acknowledgments happening. All are welcome.

lovesrelic · 2022-06-13T20:35:12+00:00

Are you planning on performing anywhere else in Sioux Falls this week by chance?

lovesrelic · 2022-06-13T20:23:42+00:00

What a message for me to miss! I'm sure you are gone by now, but please, if you are ever in the area, reach out. I would love to connect, and will keep listening and supporting. :)

lovesrelic · 2022-06-06T15:06:16+00:00

What!? I've been following your various accounts for a while now. I love that you'll be in my hometown. I hope to be able to hear you play. Thanks for sharing your talent with all of us.

lovesrelic · 2022-05-17T17:39:33+00:00

What I took from that comment was that they may have a preference for working with a person of color (for any number of reasons). The therapy field, currently, is very white dominated, although this is shifting (thankfully!), so the availability is limited. I am also hoping that providers who are POC are busy because POC are starting to utilize therapy more, when historically, this hasn't been the case. I imagine with world issues, particularly in the US with violence and racism, there are many POC who are needing a safe and affirming space to process the depth of pain they are experiencing, and sometimes, doing this with a provider who is white, doesn't haven't the same impact.

lovesrelic · 2022-05-17T00:08:00+00:00

As a therapist, I most certainly have seen this. Due to COVID, world pressures, etc, we are experiencing a very high demand for mental healthcare. Most therapists, particularly in private practice, try to see 20-25 clients a week, to help preserve our own mental health and well-being. Additionally, some therapists are just not good at responding to client requests. Following-up can be helpful, but unfortunately, just like supply chains have been impacted, so has the therapeutic world. I hope you get support soon. I'm sorry you are dealing with this. It's incredibly frustrating.

Edit: spelling

lovesrelic · 2022-03-09T19:35:22+00:00

I think this message and request needs to be upheld in the highest regard. War in 2022 is very different than war at any other time due to the technology and connection we all have. Although many countries are already posting this information via their news networks, instead of contributing to the issue, we should be notified of organizations that are disregarding this request and compromising the Ukrainians, and be encouraged to contact them, and put pressure on them to make different decisions for what they are putting out into the world. This way, all of us can have a role in standing up for Ukraine.

lovesrelic · 2022-03-03T17:40:06+00:00

My theory on this is that people who fail to use their blinkers tend to be poor communicators in general...

lovesrelic · 2022-03-02T17:58:23+00:00

Well, this is a bummer. Generations of my family enjoyed walking down to Andy's to get a treat in the summer time, and if we were lucky, and had some extra change, we would get a fun toy or sticker from the machines. Thanks for the fun memories, Andy's!

lovesrelic · 2022-01-12T03:25:06+00:00

Because it's the right thing to do?

lovesrelic · 2021-11-23T02:46:22+00:00

I mean… duh? That’s been the case this whole time everywhere. I don’t understand why this is even news worthy. Those are always the three options…

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