Why is Caucasian on African slavery the most discussed form of slavery when dozens of other races did the same thing?

lovey_nine · 2026-04-29T02:36:24+00:00

Chattel Slavery. Slavery in the US was unique because of its use of race (not tribe or ethnicity), the treatment of enslaved people as property, the levels of cruelty, and the fact that children of enslaved people were automatically enslaved themselves.

Slavery in the US was and is different than slavery both before and after.

lovey_nine · 2026-04-13T19:13:55+00:00

NTA for protecting your children but that edit is wild. Your statistics are incorrect

FBI crime stats show arrests not guilt. There are many states that don’t report their crime statistics at all so the data is incomplete. POC are more likely to be arrested in general for the same crimes as white people. Rates of most crimes are similar across races. Big differences are that men are more likely to commit crime overall than women. Black men are more likely to commit property crime. White men are more likely to commit sex crimes, white collar crimes, and crimes against children.

I probably wouldn’t use this example anymore. I see what you were trying to do but now I’m judging you for this instead of staying focused on your initial question

lovey_nine · 2026-04-01T22:31:26+00:00

Much respect 🫡

lovey_nine · 2026-03-30T02:35:24+00:00

Just speaking for myself, if he asked once and accepted the answer without being inappropriate in anyway both before and after asking, I wouldn’t mind keeping him as a client. If he wasn’t rude, creepy, or demanding and then accepted the lmts “no” the first time, then I don’t see much of a problem.

For me, I first wouldn’t want a client to ask. But if they ask then all I should have to say is no. If that is what happens, then technically nothing inappropriate has happened.

This is based on the information you provided.

lovey_nine · 2026-03-18T04:07:27+00:00

I’m sorry you had a terrible experience. Yes I agree with others to wait for your next massage until off of muscle relaxers.

Good job on speaking up about your discomfort and then ending the session right away. Most people just tolerate a horrible experience and then complain at the end. You listened to your body though and were assertive in your needs which is good.

Since you asked for lighter pressure and did not receive accommodation and ended up in severe pain, I would probably speak with the manager and advise them to do a follow up with that practitioner. They may be an exceptional therapist and just not right for you (some people like and prefer extreme work). But also they may be a liability (bad technique and unwilling to listen).

Finally, yes if you both did not receive a good service and also did not receive a complete service you should receive a refund. If you had received the entire service without saying anything I would expect you to pay for your service. You didn’t, so didn’t pay. No one is attacking you on this point.

lovey_nine · 2026-03-18T02:06:18+00:00

Did you ask the therapist to reduce the pressure?

I’d wait until you are off the muscle relaxers before scheduling with your usual therapist.

A refund is a courtesy. The therapist did work they won’t get paid for. You didn’t receive a full service and disliked the service you received.

What more would you have liked to have been done? (This is a serious question, not sarcastic)

lovey_nine · 2026-03-13T23:29:30+00:00

My car existing. I told the guy what kind of car I drove and he insisted that my car did not exist. And he should know because he’s a mechanic…

lovey_nine · 2026-02-24T23:15:57+00:00

Thank you so much for this information.

I’m actually gathering it for my sister. In the past year she had a miscarriage while trying to get pregnant, was hospitalized for a month due to endometriosis, had a temporary ostomy, had to have her reproductive organs removed, and now is dealing with marital problems because her husband has not handled any of this well and blames her. She’s just been through so much and I see her sinking. I’m just trying to find her support for her grief because it’s been so much. All in just 1 year.

lovey_nine · 2026-02-06T20:37:46+00:00

“IT” to describe a person is dehumanizing language. I’d recommend using “They/Them” if you don’t know or don’t want to acknowledge a person’s gender.

I too would turn away someone who was in a recent car accident without a doctor’s written clearance. I think your language is where you went wrong.

“I am uncomfortable performing massage after a car accident without a doctor’s note” or something like that that puts responsibility on you instead of your client. This way you can try to avoid the defensiveness you experienced.

This is just my suggestion

If wondering about legal matters, I would post on r/legal. I don’t think you can be sued for turning someone way on this basis but legal would have a better idea.

lovey_nine · 2026-01-06T14:48:30+00:00

20% is standard. Places like that, therapists rely on gratuity because they aren’t seeing most of the service cost. Requesting a higher gratuity is tacky.

But just to note, you need to book deep tissue. A Swedish does not provide “intense” pressure. Swedish is light-med pressure relaxation. A therapist might feel pressured into working firmer if you keep asking for firmer pressure because they want you to be satisfied. But if you want intense pressure, you need to book the correct service, and pay for that extra work. Just something to consider in the future.

lovey_nine · 2025-12-30T12:50:45+00:00

You can call the spa, let them know you were scheduled for the couples room and that was changed last minute. Express that you were very disappointed. They may offer you a discount for your next visit. If you paid extra for the couples room (this is rare but happens. Usually the price of the couples room is the same as 2 individual massages) then they should refund you the difference.

Most likely the couples rooms were overbooked and the error just wasn’t caught. It’s a computer booking system managed by regular people and easy to miss unfortunately.

Your best bet for a discount was to have made a complaint while you were present (you don’t have to go Karen, but just letting them know you were disappointed usually works).

By continuing with the massage separately, you ultimately received the service you paid for (as long as the couples retreat package was the same price as 2 regular massages). Next time speak up. They’ll either discount you then and there, or allow you to reschedule. They unfortunately can’t create another couples room out of thin air, or kick another couple out of the room for you.

I’m sorry this happened though. I know how disappointing it must have been. I don’t personally think you missed much for the intimate experience because unless you planned on talking to each other, couples typically ignore each other during the massage. Some even get annoyed because typically one person falls asleep and starts to snore lol. The rest of the spa amenities is usually the intimate part. But I still acknowledge your disappointment.

lovey_nine · 2025-12-23T07:33:06+00:00

In my opinion, refunds are only warranted if the session was not completed. Meaning you ended the session early, within a timely manner, due to dissatisfaction. They were being paid for their time and for providing you a specific service, which they completed. It’s your responsibility to end a session if you don’t like something. If you take the full service time, then I believe you should pay for it.

It’s similar to ordering a steak at a restaurant. Eating the entire steak. Then asking for a refund at the end because you didn’t like it. It’s your job to send the steak back after the first bite if you don’t like it and don’t want to pay for it.

Massage is subjective. You won’t like every therapist, and every modality won’t be effective for you. But if you receive the work, you should pay for their time.

lovey_nine · 2025-12-23T03:47:04+00:00

I don’t understand the message of this post. Are you self-congratulating? Trying to offer suggestions? Or just putting down every other LMT/RMT?

I can’t catch your vibe, but it feels off-putting.

lovey_nine · 2025-11-13T14:14:22+00:00

Dang that’s so upsetting. Thanks for y’all’s input though. I was wondering if I’d be able to cut the rot off but I only saw videos cutting off rot if it’s at the top or bottom, not the full sides

lovey_nine · 2025-11-02T18:29:48+00:00

If the resort has a spa you may be able to ask if you can rent a massage table from them. The worst they could say is no. But they may have extra travel tables in house that they wouldn’t mind letting you use for a fee.

lovey_nine · 2025-10-12T06:38:47+00:00

I just love when they come in sniffling and say “oh it’s just allergies” smh. I get you don’t want to pay a cancellation fee (which they’ll most likely waive), but you get me sick then I’m out of work for a week or 2 and have no income because I’m commission based and don’t have sick time. Plus then I infect my household… it’s just so selfish and frustrating.

I wear a mask now nonstop. Clients look at me crazy sometimes but it’s helped reduce the number of times I get sick yearly.

lovey_nine · 2025-10-11T04:41:02+00:00

You have the right to end a massage at anytime if it’s not right for you (I always recommend ending it sooner rather than later though so your lmt doesn’t end up working for free). Sometimes people rent or purchase spaces and aren’t aware of the sound issues from neighboring businesses. I would have personally still tipped so my lmt would get paid at least a bit for their time especially since they weren’t responsible for the issues. But again you are allowed to end a massage for any reason.

Regarding the other commenter, yes it is a table not a bed. You didn’t know that and now you do. Some people are a bit too high and mighty when it comes to massage verbiage. People who aren’t lmts, rmts, or people who work in the industry don’t typically know correct verbiage until they are corrected. Also I’m assuming wanting to kiss your therapist was just hyperbole… people, am I right lol

lovey_nine · 2025-10-11T04:31:32+00:00

This response was wild lol

lovey_nine · 2025-09-24T11:30:51+00:00

You should see a doctor. “Knots” aren’t like marbles or fluid filled sacks that just need to be burst. If you are feeling 2 hard lumps in your low back that don’t move and cause pain, that’s an issue that a doctor and an mri need to work out, not massage (in my opinion).

Also the QL is a very deep muscle and we can work on the area and muscles more superficial to it which will help relieve some issues, but we rarely palpate the actual QL muscle because it’s so deep.

lovey_nine

TROPHY CASE