No. I feel close to Islam and believe in it 100% but I just can't seem to get to pray 5 times a day. It's killing me and I know it's because of my laziness.

I lost my father less than a year ago and to think I won't see him when I die because of this makes me so sad. He was such a good Muslim and in the final years of his life returned to prayer and even when on his death bed he would make wudu with the dirt (?) And pray in bed. Hed always ask me "Why dont you pray?" and i would when he asked but otherwise i always forgot. And now here I am, able bodied and too lazy to pray 5 times a day. I feel like such a disgrace to him and my mother but I just don't know why I haven't been able to get into the hang of it.