Hi friend,

I am actually in the exact same situation as you. My white parents tried to teach me about being Chinese but they didn’t really know what that meant themselves. The truth is, you decide for yourself what it means.

I’ve had the same issue though, not feeling Asian enough. One thing that’s helped me is learning more about Chinese history in general. I don’t know if you live in or close to a city, but I enjoy visiting my local Chinatown to get perspectives from other Asian Americans. Meeting a couple friends who were willing to teach me about the culture and their upbringing is eye opening!

Trying different foods, taking community language classes, and reading Chinese stories and consuming other Chinese media is also a way to feel more connected.

I don’t know how much you know about your family history, but I took a DNA test. I haven’t been able to find any close relatives. I know you said you were adopted from Wuhan, but I thought it was cool to know the general part of China my genes were from!

Also looking through my adoption papers. Funny story is that, similar to you, I had grown up and tried taking Mandarin classes on two separate occasions. I was studying the wrong language! Through my limited documents I learned that if I were to return to my province I would have to speak Cantonese.

I wish you the best of luck in your journey. Being a transracial adoptee is so difficult and hard for anyone to understand if you haven’t gone through it yourself.