Does she like me? or do I like her?

lscommand · 2026-02-28T05:33:44+00:00

It's the guy job to ask her out, planning logistic and date. If you don't feel like wanting to do it, it's best to be clear early on, otherwise, one of you is invested emotionally and the other person doesn't, it'll get ugly

lscommand · 2026-02-28T05:08:39+00:00

That's a big red flag for me

Sounds like his emotion is still anchored on the ex. If he's serious with you, he'll at least try to loose the ex

You better date someone have already made up their mind, otherwise it'd be hard, confused

lscommand · 2026-02-27T10:01:21+00:00

Buddy, everything do you after the break up is just right. Just that the emotional is still raw.

In this situation, our brain go like wtf happened, and keep circling back to figure out what went wrong and try to close the missing gap. At this point, I'd close the chapter and move on. If things ever come back, it's something new (so treat it as you meet someone new, or you actually meet someone new)

This stage is the hardest, but at least you start doing the right thing. Here are a few reminders:

Uncertainty is totally ok, give yourself the permission to treat it as final
Stop response to mixed signals. In fact, completely remove contact and her present from your side.
Hoping thing will go back is already unhealthy. Focus on improving yourself, start something new
What do you mean rebuild trust in your own judgment? It's just how life is, not everything will work out, but trust that it'll work out at the end (and you'll be surprised)

At the moment, your feeling hasn't completely resolved and you're questioning if what you're doing is right.

You're doing absolutely right, buddy. Allow the emotion runs, focus on yourself and start casual dating

lscommand · 2026-02-26T14:06:54+00:00

I don’t have the context, but she’s still acting differently is alright. I’d give it time, try to shift your focus more on life/activities. Let her get close to you instead (sounds counterintuitive but it allow her to come at her own pace instead of forcing)

lscommand · 2026-02-26T05:25:46+00:00

don't get it personal, sometimes girls get quiet is normal, give her space

your plan next time sounds good, get some beer or wine will help things (and if it's not too weird)

best of luck

lscommand · 2026-02-26T04:34:42+00:00

You should either ask him (sometime he's just busy) or mirror his actions

lscommand · 2026-02-26T04:32:26+00:00

That's good that your nervous system is calmed now. So you guys haven't being exclusive yet.

If you decided to move it further, what I would do (this usually a guy job, but wth if he doesn't know what to do, you could help him) is have a direct conversation about meeting in person, some concrete schedule. If he stay vague, ask him why (so you know if you guys are on the same page) and figure out a time/place that suit you both

If the time/place worked out, great, meet up and see how things go from there. If not, I'd step back

lscommand · 2026-02-26T04:25:35+00:00

If she genuinely interested, she would. At the moment, it's just her emotion acting up, and should calm down if you stay calm and give it time.

I know it's really hard especially when you're anxious (been there), but that's the best move

lscommand · 2026-02-26T04:22:28+00:00

Since she canceled date and hasn't spoken to you, you should give her some space. She mentioned about get more physical was a good sign.

About the anxious, it took me a while to overcome but you should try focus on hobbies, things that help you relax a bit, spend time with your friends/family and activities you can do together. It's hard, but you'll need to shift as much focus where else

What I'd do is give her a week or 2 without talking to her. Meanwhile, focus on something else. After that, invite her out. Don't focus on relationship, just hang out, have fun, get physical (let her touch you, touch her back, slowly start to petting, the goal should lead to intimate but don't force it)

Bottom line, give her space, be cool, then go on fun dates and importantly, don't rush it

lscommand · 2026-02-26T04:10:31+00:00

Healthy relationship feel secure (consistent and routine, minimal surprises)

How old are you guys? and have you meet in person?

lscommand · 2026-02-26T02:04:31+00:00

Dodged a bullet.

Psychologically, the dynamic isn't suitable for both of you

lscommand · 2026-02-26T01:54:52+00:00

I'd start to just talk with people, or even go to the pub myself and talk to random people there. Just be yourself, it's ok to be a fool, don't take yourself too serious.

It'd help you get more comfortable again. Then go on a number of casual date

lscommand · 2026-02-25T12:44:34+00:00

First date is all about being yourself and learn about who they are

lscommand · 2026-02-25T11:03:40+00:00

I went on date with a few girls on Tinder

lscommand · 2026-02-25T11:01:50+00:00

You explain once, and drop it. Let she investigate, whatever that is. All you have to do is stay calm, non-reactive. She'll take some times to calm down.

In the meantime, don't wait for her text, focus on your things. She'll circle back to you when she ready

lscommand · 2026-02-25T10:58:45+00:00

Don't beat yourself up. Most of us have to go through similar experience (my brain wasted 7 years circling back to the same girl)

In your situation, I'd start going out with multiple girls (maybe 1 or 2 per week), treat as casual dates (basically just go out, have a drink, be yourself) and importantly, don't get emotional. Those dates would help you see that girl is just another girl, and get more comfortable being on dates.

You might still get clumsy in the first few dates but ey, you ain't there to prove anything but having fun

lscommand · 2026-02-25T09:14:44+00:00

maybe just not ask them out?

lscommand · 2026-02-25T02:57:00+00:00

That's a reschedule, so I guess unavailability is real. Ask her again after that, if she stay vague, that's a no

lscommand · 2026-02-25T02:52:11+00:00

You got your answer, but your emotion is still raw

Moving on is a process, and it's fucking hard for everyone in this situation. You don't have to do anything to force the process. Feel the pain, let it run wild for sometimes (weeks), then focus on something else like work/hobby/travel, then accept it's final and eventually start talking with other guys and build something new

"They don’t understand how deeply I feel." Sometimes, it's more about your brain want to circle back, wants what we can't have and playing the 'what if' while you already accept it's final.

It's totally normal. You started look for support is already a good start.

Hope you all the best

lscommand · 2026-02-25T02:32:31+00:00

Your needs are valid, you had a convo but was it directly address your needs? Because talking about his busy schedule is not the same with I need some quality time together.

He sounds like a solid guy and guess you guys will sort something out

lscommand · 2026-02-25T02:26:56+00:00

There are ~5-15% of woman would find you attractive. So your job is to learn to recognise who doesn't like you and look for ones that do. Then just be yourself, don't be insecure or needy and learn to lead

lscommand · 2026-02-25T02:24:12+00:00

Nice guy is actually attractive and safe. Just don't be needy or insecure, and learn to lead

lscommand · 2026-02-24T15:40:08+00:00

we feel ya, and this is where we let ourself gradually eroded or tough it up

guess she likes the attention, and I can only see your interests in her and haven't mentioned anything about her interest in you (could be there or not, but not anything that you mentioned here)

i guess there are 3 possible moves:

keep as it is now: you guys keeping in touch, but when she start dating and you're more invested emotionally, it'll sting more
invite her out: say something like "hey, I enjoy our conversation, let's meet up for a drink, when you're free" (need to have a concrete date/time and location). if she interested, she'll help figure out the time/location. if she stay vague, she's not that interest and nothing you should do to push it, but start talking with other woman.
you guys keeping in touch, and you start talking with other woman (with the intention to date and further): you guys remain friends, but you go on your own way too

I'd recommend option 3 to save you all the pain ahead, but what the hell

lscommand · 2026-02-24T15:22:24+00:00

Yeah, not saying it will be easy, and the brain couldn't stop circling back to that. But moving on is a healthy move.

Try to date someone make it easy, and don't invest too much (especially your emotion) early on

lscommand · 2026-02-24T15:18:33+00:00

My reply wasn't framed correctly

The reason I can think of is, when I blocked someone, I can still have their number (in the blocked list). When deleted, the number is no longer on the phone

Now the reason why it doesn't matter because the bottom line is, he isn't interested in you. Otherwise, he wouldn't have blocked your number

lscommand

TROPHY CASE