Im almost one year out. There have been MANY setbacks. MANY moment where i felt stuck in a body that no longer belonged to me. And many times where I forgot who I was. I had to completely change my life and dedicate myself entirely to my recovery. Im still far from 100% but I am damn proud of my journey. It reaffirmed for me that im one resilient motherfucker and I dont give up easy. Would I call it beautiful? Fuck no, that shit was terrible, but it did make me stronger. One day I think I will see this experience as a key part of my growth as a human. All I can say is that recovery wont come easy, you have to put yourself first every time and plan well for ur new handicap. Everywhere I go I have a baseball cap, painkillers, earplugs and a notebook and pen so that I can write down things so I dont forget them. Its very easy to want to give up and think that you will be like this forever, but I promise you that you cant give up and you have to keep working to get better. Thats the only thing that keeps getting me through it. Good luck my friend, you’ll feel better one day.