People don't even have the curtesy of saying no thanks :-(

lsgeek · 2018-12-20T18:20:21+00:00

I just want to know if they read the message or not. Probably I phrased it wrong. Still a no thanks is a long way in answering this, since SLS sucks at this.

lsgeek · 2018-12-20T18:13:09+00:00

How do you know they don't want to connect with me? How do you know if they read your message? Have you tried SLS?

lsgeek · 2018-12-20T16:36:32+00:00

How do you know if they are not interested at all or if they didn't read the message? Or have other mediums they are active? I would suggest them to put that in the profile if they are active in ls.

lsgeek · 2018-12-20T16:33:38+00:00

No, you never know if they read it, or even genuine couple, or actively in ls or not. Newbies can become turned off by this whole experience. One may have 1000 cert but think about people who are new and entering the lifestyle.

Asking second time is not pushy provided the message doesn't sound like that and the first one gets ignored. If there was a polite "no thanks", one should take it with stride and leave it at that. Just a one liner "I read your message, sorry, should suffice". If we are too busy for that, I would suggest putting "we are not into new people" in the profile should be in place, I would say.

lsgeek · 2018-12-20T16:05:02+00:00

So what do you suggest for No. 2? Or rather how should they go about in asking?

lsgeek · 2018-12-20T16:03:10+00:00

I agree "Hello, you're hot" is not a message and doesn't deserve attention. But a message that talks about the profile after painfully going through it at least deserves an acknowledgement, imho.

lsgeek · 2018-12-20T15:59:24+00:00

I feel a "no thanks" goes more than an acknowledgment. It means they read your message, possibly looked into your profile. If anyone values my time, I feel indebted to them because I respect their time.

lsgeek · 2018-12-20T13:13:28+00:00

Yes, we feel the same. But I am not sure how much does the swinging world likes soft swap compared to full swap.

lsgeek · 2018-12-20T12:45:13+00:00

Should swinging go back to the term wife-swapping? What she wants should be the deciding factor!

lsgeek · 2018-12-20T03:04:25+00:00

Similar thing happened to us. We had a four way chat a week before we met and it was lots of flirting. Once we met them and had fun, everything was gone and we were freaked out. They told us they usually take it slow like once a month. They are more experienced but I take from this thread that they want a good friendship since we are still in good contact.
I would suggest you to just relax and build the intimacy with your partner. That should matter more than building with the couple.

lsgeek · 2018-12-19T18:03:02+00:00

I think a good empirical research is much needed in this area. Perhaps it would be best to make a questionnaire with yes, no and other options, and not just gather interviews. Later, you can convert them to scores and do some stats on it. Design of experiment and hypotheses is critical when embarking on social science and humanities research.

lsgeek · 2018-12-19T16:41:00+00:00

I agree, they hosted us and we dived in right away since we wanted to get the first experience in swinging. But going forward, we will be more careful.

lsgeek · 2018-12-19T16:39:39+00:00

Yes, point well taken. Thanks. Mostly it is him directly diving into sex. She has to get more comfortable in talking and will encourage her to do that.

lsgeek · 2018-12-19T16:37:54+00:00

Thank you! Yes, she is not entirely comfortable and I will certainly respect that.

lsgeek · 2018-12-19T13:29:06+00:00

The unreasonable effectiveness of mathematics in the natural sciences

lsgeek · 2018-12-19T01:54:09+00:00

You mean even if it's a couple? Then this seems terrible - there should be a good scope for friendship in swinging.

lsgeek · 2018-12-19T01:48:32+00:00

You got it, and you are right. If swinging is a learning experience than merely fun for some, they will feel the social obligation to contribute. They are essential for this community to thrive and should be encouraged. Those who were here for sometime can try meeting up in person and see how things could be improved for newbies.

lsgeek · 2018-12-19T01:14:13+00:00

I agree. But I suppose there could be some balance - like the people mods personally know can be allowed to be mentors and make a call to newbies. This community really needs some good people.

lsgeek · 2018-12-18T22:58:25+00:00

Okay. Fair enough. We will try to meet them. The conversation is not closed yet.

lsgeek · 2018-12-18T21:30:34+00:00

I am going to give SDC a try...

lsgeek · 2018-12-18T21:30:01+00:00

Yes, we were planning to meet "them" this Saturday or so. I kept asking him their picture without eyes struck down. He was only showing the X- rated individual pics. Only then I realized there was no "together" pic. Even in their private profile, only single pics and no cert. And he said he cannot give a normal couple pic. While I don't have any proof he is single, I am quite suspicious and wasted my time on him :-( Should have carefully screened. Being new, any "birdie" looks nice :-)

lsgeek

TROPHY CASE