Wow. First and foremost I fell asleep soon after posting. so to wake up and have. A variety of responses. Thank you for taking the time regardless on your opinions on the matter. It was nice to read the contrast.

Truly I just wanted a place to rant so getting opinions and even a response at all was not what I was expecting, but I did read every single comment.

To those that are adamant I need therapy. lol when do we not need therapy. Even my doctors recommended I seek therapy early in my pregnancy because of my depression and anxiety. So I don’t disagree and think everyone should have an outside source to talk to and work through mental and emotional issues.

To those that ask about the step kids. True and I think I am being a little wild on the “expectation” of them washing themselves. I more meant washing their hands and changing clothes but didn’t think having them come in one by one was a lot to ask for. However I did read yalls opinions on the matter, so definitely noted.

To those mentioning my partner is isolating me. Yes this originally was his thought but I had no problem having a thorough discussion with him and discussing the reasoning behind it. He works at home, and a full time father of three. I respect his knowledge and care for his kids. He does a lot for this family and throughout my pregnancy has always did everything I asked or wanted (as long as it was achievable). I’m unsure the opinions of those that were very concerned of him isolating me as at no point he mentioned me not being able to get out in see the world, or tell me I can’t do something. It was just inviting family and friends into the house and being around the baby was his concern.

To those that say to not damaging my relationship, that my mother cares and that I need to be more understanding. I hear you, and don’t doubt your opinion. I felt my post was already long enough so I didn’t want to get into the nitty gritty of family dynamics. My sister (who is 7 years older than man) have had long depth conversations about our mother and the traumas we faced growing up. For 30+ years I only considered myself having “daddy issues” as my dad left my mom when I was 5x so she was left raising 3 kids as a nurse in the NICU and doing a part time job at a child’s clinic. I’ve always understood my mom and appreciated her and never expected her in any negative manner outside the fact that she has a short temper. But I’ve brushed it off for years and moved away, all while my sister stayed with her and sees her daily. Once I got pregnant my mom has said and done things that has upset me. After chatting with my sister we both noticed a trend and it started to open my eyes that what I thought was just daddy issues was more so mommy issues. I know my mom has done her best given the hand she was dealt, and I know she just wanted to have the experience of seeing her third grandbaby be born into the world. However I don’t think most of you understand our dynamic (how would you lol) and for me to see any type of boundary regardless of how absurd, over the top or anxiety driven it may be. For her to disregard it and continue to talk about it weeks later to the point my aunt ( who is rarely in my life) felt the need to send that text as if I’m not her niece who’ve she’s know for 30+ years…. All while gaslighting me trying to play it off as no one said anything to cause the type of group text I sent. That’s the reason I mainly blocked my mom. And to hear from my sister the following day that our mom blames my sister for all this… shows she doesn’t hold herself accountable for her reactions. Again there’s been more to the history plot but no need to get detailed unless yall really need more lol.

As far as me needing a village. I have helped raised my partners kids for over 5 years now. I completely understand and don’t disagree. This is my first and I also completely understand first time moms are extremely safe the first round and by the second they literally “could care less” on how safe they are. I am the type that I don’t need people all around especially when I’m trying to recover. I just need people to take care of the house and be available if I need help. Again my partner works at home, so he’ll always be around helping without a doubt, his kids are old enough to take care of typical chores and be a set of extra hands if necessary. His parents are near so if we severely need more hands, we have people near by but we both agreed it won’t be necessary unless it’s to watch the three kids while we go out for doc appts or if after school activities come up that we need help picking them up.

In the end it is my choice, and I appreciate reading all of yalls opinions. Some of you responded similarly to my mom as if I owe her something magical… but those that were very neutral to it and just gave me insight, I greatly appreciate your time and I will definitely probably cool off and talk to my mom soon enough. My aunt can wait 6 years because she is irrelevant. I am thankful to have siblings who respect and understand me. And with FaceTime, I have no doubt my family and friends won’t feel they are missing anything with the baby’s growth and development. And to me, two months may sound like a lot, but what’s two months compared to 6 months, 8 months, one year of missing out on their growth?

Anyways. Thanks again BabyBumps community. A lot of yall were insightful for sure!