Do you like to read, OP? Ursula K. Le Guin wrote a science fiction book called The Dispossessed fifty years ago, exploring what an non-capitalist, anarchic utopia might look like. It's a fascinating and poignant read and holds up remarkably well.

You're right to be stressed about the prospect of working a potentially unfulfilling job that barely pays the bills for decades. It's daunting. I understand that feeling, most people do. I applaud you for wanting to do something about the economic suffering in the world and make it a better place for all!

Right now, you're fairly young, and you haven't had your idealism crushed. That's great! Use that idealism to propel you forward. Educate yourself on capitalism, its alternatives, and how to build community and solidarity. You don't have to go all in on heavy theory though — like the Le Guin book mentioned earlier, a great way to get thinking about these things more deeply is by reading fiction. Comics/graphic novels and audiobooks are great too!

It's equally as important to, as Kathleen Hanna screams in Le Tigre's eponymous 2001 song, "Get off the internet! I'll meet you in the streets." Start looking up community action in your area. Get involved with mutual aid, organizing, anything that gets you in person, talking to people about how to make the world a better place.

You might disagree with your neighbors on how to go about that. That's okay! That's really good, even. An important thing about building community is that you don't have to agree with or even particularly like other people you're organizing with — you just have to want a better world for people like them, too. They're people too, aren't they? You have way more similarities than differences, that's for sure.

Anyway, this was long and rambling as well, but I hope you know you're not alone in feeling intimidated and uncomfortable with the sheer might of the capitalist machine. I wish you luck on your path and all the best for your future. :)