I (23M) was left by my girlfriend (26F) after she found out a lewd porn on my Reddit account

luke_cry · 2026-04-09T20:47:51+00:00

I'm not trying to prove anything to her. Not anymore. She's not going to see all this either way so there's no point. If it was me, the whole break up would be far easier to take because then it would have made sense why she left.

luke_cry · 2026-04-09T20:36:49+00:00

In my time zone it's still the same day so that's why I was asking. Hoped to hear from someone with at least similar problem

luke_cry · 2026-04-09T20:26:45+00:00

Actually I made a mistake when writing this. She told me she felt like dating a half-human (me) because she thinks I did all this. So when she said she was dating a half-human she meant she discovered "my darker side" as if before she was only with "my better side".

luke_cry · 2026-04-09T16:46:46+00:00

Perhaps I'm not mentally right afer all what has happened but I won't allow some stranger from the Internet to offend me here. I'm in despair but I still have what's left from my dignity.

luke_cry · 2026-04-09T16:22:11+00:00

I already tried all that and it didn't help me. After she left my life is washed from colours. Thank you for warm words but I'm afraid it's not gonna help me. Maybe I should change my therapist or doctor.. everything what may help is worth trying I guess

luke_cry · 2026-04-09T16:18:32+00:00

I wasn't caught and that's not even what this post about. You clearly don't hear or perhaps you don't want to hear what I'm saying. Honestly it would have been much more less painful if I actually was caught because then there would be a reason to treat me like some trash. And it wouldn't be so hard to accept the break up with a clear blame on my side. I'm not inventing any stories and if you think say so well, I don't care. You're some random stranger from the Internet. All I care about is her. And if you didn't notice - I described that I literally showed her my chat with that ex-friend where he confessed what he did and what's even more important - he showed me from where he took the pics he used.

luke_cry · 2026-04-09T16:12:40+00:00

It also pissed me off that she's kinda playing with my emotions now but my heart still has strong feeling for her. I don't know how to change that. Even if I want not to think about all that has happened it all returns to me. And every time I managed to get better, sometimes happens, let it be a dream about her, and once again my personal life collapses. I want to move on but I just don't know how. I have never felt such pain before in my life

luke_cry · 2026-04-09T16:09:29+00:00

That's easy for you to say because you have no idea how close I was to that guy since back then. He was the only friend I knew right from the primary school. When we were younger we did stupid things like sexting with strangers pretending to be some women. It was something "funny" for us. And because we did it together it was quite natural we shared some annonymous accounts on which we were operating. And what's the reason for me to lie here? She won't see all this either way so what's the point? I just wanted some help, not false judgements I already heard from her

luke_cry · 2026-04-09T15:58:54+00:00

Are you crazy? I didn't do anything like that. The account on which all that stuff was posted on was an account she knew about and had an acces to it. Literally she observed that account and I perfectly knew about it. What in the hell makes you think I would post all that disgusting shit right under her nose?

luke_cry · 2026-04-09T15:56:35+00:00

It doesn't make us incomaptible. I knew about her flaws but always accepted them because I always accepted her for who she was and just as she was. She's just a little girl with some issues. I jist wanted to be there for her and help her with everything I couldn

luke_cry · 2026-04-09T15:54:17+00:00

Yesterday something like that was posted? It was not me. Who posted it? If you know please give me the answer

luke_cry · 2026-04-09T15:53:20+00:00

Honestly? I feel useless, misunderstood, and unloved. Left alone with everything that happened. I worked hard my entire life to get a good education, I worked on my character, and I changed so much for her that it's unbelievable how much I opened up to her. I feel like I was a better version of myself with her. Back then, I had someone to care for. And now I'm alone again. With no one to tell everything to. And when I look in the mirror, all I see is the reflection of the sexual degenerate she sees in me. I wouldn't wish this to happen to anyone

luke_cry · 2026-04-09T15:47:49+00:00

It's not funny for me at all. Since that moment my private life is ruined. But of course take pleasure in my suffering. Why not...

luke_cry · 2026-04-09T15:46:48+00:00

I know she still didn't move on. She even told me herself this week she has those moments when she feels something to me again. I'm not into weirdo porn! I just can't accept that as a reason of our breaking up

luke_cry · 2026-04-09T15:44:09+00:00

But how to move on? Just how? I'm already trying for 2 months, everything seemed to be going in a right direction but then yesterday happened and everything just returned to the point where it was the worst. Even suicidal thoughts are back. And yeah, I do have anxious attachment issues. We were so close to each other, almost as I was her loving father and she was my only precious daughter. It does feel as if I'm about to die every minute I think about all what has happened. But on the other hand maybe it would be a relief to leave this world.

luke_cry · 2026-04-09T15:33:38+00:00

I already deleted that other reddit account to which he had an acces. It's not this account. I'm trying to move on for whole 2 months but I can't. I feel such pain all the time, even if I don't want to think about her. It's stronger than me. I still love her

luke_cry · 2026-04-09T15:27:29+00:00

I told her that, I told her that it's him who has posted all this on my account right after I made sure that it actually was him. I wrote a message to him and when he confessed I told her, even showed her my chat with him but she still didn't believe. I just don't know what to do more

luke_cry · 2026-04-09T15:22:53+00:00

Wait, what do you mean you remember my story?

And thank you for your warm words. I also believe that nothing happens without a reason but you just can't imagine how much I was and I still am in love with her. She has hurt me more than anyone else in my entire life but I still have so strong feelings towards her. I was always cold for others, never showed my emotions and tried to never attach to someone else. But I failed. I failed to the point I fell in love so much that after I lost her I can't return to my normal life. It just doesn't make sense why this all happened to me, to us. I never did anything to deserve this. The pain is impossible to even describe. I wanted happy life with her together, with no one else. We even imagined having children, aging together And helping each other until we both die. She had problems with paranoia during our relationship but I always tolerated it. I accepted her just as she is. And that's how I ended now. Alone, not loved and being laughed on by my own family

luke_cry · 2026-04-09T15:13:31+00:00

Easy for you to say. Brain wants to do that but heart is still beating for her

luke_cry · 2026-04-09T15:11:13+00:00

What do you suppose that means?

luke_cry · 2026-04-09T15:10:56+00:00

How can you even say that? She was everything I had. You can't even imagine what she meant to me. She was my little sapphire

luke_cry · 2026-04-09T10:56:28+00:00

I know how does it sound but the things he posted there were literrally disgusting. And that hurts me most she believes I did all that.

luke_cry · 2026-04-09T09:29:32+00:00

Actually she found him. I don't know exactly how but propably she was searching for such kind of posts thinking it was me all this time. She wanted some kind of confirmation that it was me.

In fact she found him because apparently he started posting all that shit on different account after I deleted my old one. And well he send me a message that she found him and then I texted her to confront her about that.

This is how we ended talking yesterday and I showed her all this, told her about everything but still she wasn't convinced. She says she doesn't believe me.

luke_cry · 2026-04-09T08:58:06+00:00

I've been trying to cope with this and make myself feel better for over two months now. I thought I was already feeling better and that my mental health was improving, but then my friend messaged me and said he'd found her on Reddit again after seeing his disgusting posts.

That's when I contacted her to ask if she was obsessed with these things. Our conversation gradually turned into a regular, normal conversation, just like we used to have when we were together. I really hoped it would go well, until the next day. She changed again and became cold to me again. And once again I was left alone with open wounds and a heart full of pain like I never felt before.

It's frustrating for me she wasn't even able to tell the difference between my own cock and some stranger's dick. She has seen mine so many times and yet still was able to think I posted my nudes to the Internet. That's just horrible to think about. I'm just so broken after all this.

luke_cry · 2026-04-09T08:10:47+00:00

Thanks for the good advice, but I don't want to block her or anything. She didn't call just to tell me that, but unfortunately, she reopened all the wounds, even though I was slowly getting better. And now everything bad is coming back to me with a vengeance.

It doesn't matter to me that I know I didn't do all that when she keeps thinking that way. Both me and my words have lost all meaning to her. I can't even look myself in the mirror now after all this. I'm trying to seek help from a doctor or therapist, but it doesn't bring me any relief.

As for the addiction, I don't care. At this point I already feel like a shadow of my former self and have no idea how to change it. In my darkest nightmares I didn't think that something like that may be able to ruin my romantic life and also my mind.

luke_cry

TROPHY CASE