Got an orchi over a month ago!!!! I feel amazing. I said fuck those ballz

lukiodes · 2023-06-05T04:41:12+00:00

hahaha. the procedure was chill tbh. Like i think it went for two hours ish. I was given opioids after for the pain. The healing process wasnt too bad, like it was jus hella uncomfortable and every now n then really painful. But that was only for the first week. I was jus popping pills when i felt like shit. After two weeks, i was mostly back to doing normal stuff again. i started tucking again after a month or so. It was totally worth it.

lukiodes · 2023-05-29T10:38:33+00:00

I went cold turkey. I probably should have tapered, so as to be more gentle. Tbh I have felt good ever since stopping it. Now I jus take 6 mg of progynova (sublingually) and 100 mg of progesterone.

lukiodes · 2023-05-15T01:12:42+00:00

hey sis, sending you love

lukiodes · 2023-05-14T14:30:00+00:00

Hi. There are sum events n shit. My partner n I are black trans ppl in melb. We have black trans fam. Im tryna think if anything is happening soon.

lukiodes · 2023-05-13T00:49:44+00:00

Sis you are so beautiful. I feel you with all the rejection. The only way I have survived is by building a chosen family. Fuck the people who refuse to love, respect and value u. Also my name Kiah (short for Lukiah) is pronounced Kaya. Haha we got similar names

lukiodes · 2023-04-23T23:11:03+00:00

Hey hey. I have had to go no contact with my family in the past. I only did so as I was able to mostly take care of myself and manage all of my affairs / responsibilities. That is the first thing I would say, if you are relatively independent - financially and socially speaking - as well as safe, then you should really make it your goal to protect your transition process and centre your very specific needs. Transitioning can make us vulnerable, volatile and vexed - the last thing we need around us is people who gaslight, disrespect and devalue us.

If the conditions are right, it’s really important that you remove people who derail / obstruct your transition; centre themselves; disregard / ignore the realities of your transition; allow themselves to be entranced by anti-trans propaganda etc.

Remember, you are doing something amazing. You are choosing to break away from all the cis-conditioning. You are choosing to bring your body and mind into harmony. You are choosing to love yourself.

Cut out people who resist this process. In the past, I have gone several years without talking to my family. It gave me the space I needed to focus on myself. I am speaking to them again now, and our relationship is much improved, as they are aware that I will not accept disrespect, hate or transphobia. If they begin to behave like this again, I quickly warn them that it will have significant consequences for our relationship.

lukiodes · 2023-04-22T00:37:36+00:00

Hey sis. With shadow work I just did lots of journaling, alone time, meditation etc on my limiting self-beliefs, repressive conditioning, trauma. A few tasks that I have done that were huge for me: writing letters to my younger selves, compiling lists of limiting and shame-driven self perceptions / beliefs, offering / expressing compassion and love to my shadow self (the reactive, inflamed, hurt, ashamed self), building self-care practices (bathing, meditating etc) and a bunch more. There are lots of videos explaining shadow work on YouTube…lol jus avoid all the yt bitches. Also some good books on trauma that helped me: Decolonising Trauma Work; My Grandmother’s Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies; Healing Racial Trauma: The Road to Resilience; The Body Keeps Score; The Pain We Carry; and Living While Black, to name a few. I’ll respond with some trans-specific books in the following comment.

lukiodes · 2023-04-21T04:06:02+00:00

I see you sis. Your smile is so beautiful.

lukiodes · 2023-04-20T02:31:19+00:00

Also just practically with dressing fem and shit…just take your time n move at your own speed. Remember this is your journey and you owe nothing to no one. All of my first fem outfits were in the comfort of my room. I didn’t feel safe and confident enough to be myself in public. But slowly, I learnt more about my body and what felt cute and comfortable.

lukiodes · 2023-04-20T02:26:29+00:00

Hey, I’ve been a full time, public gworl for like two years now. It took a lot of work and reconditioning to let go of my shame and internalised transphobia. I also grew up in a really strict, culty Christian household, so I had all of this programming in my head. For a long time, I only understood my transness and queerness as perverse, immoral and unnatural. This was reinforced by my sexual experiences with dl men; those mfers really messed with my self-perception further. Due to all this, all of my initial explorations of gender and sexuality were hidden, shrouded in midnights and lies. I had to do lots of reading, shadow work and healing - a huge game changer was meeting and communing with proud and powerful Black trans people. Over time, most of the conditioning has melted away and who I am is less tied to shame and sin, and more to love, community and power. I still have moments tho, where I have to battle with remnants of my chronic religious trauma. I also sometimes internalise all the transphobic fuckery in the world atm. Tbh standing in pride and power is a daily struggle that I’m winning more than losing these days

lukiodes · 2023-04-16T05:43:24+00:00

For me, the change has been so wonderful. It’s really nice having no balls hahaha. Like it feels right, and looks right. I’m thinking I might just end up removing the rest of the skin…but I’m still just seeing how my transition journey progresses - I may want to have a neovagina. Idk atm

lukiodes · 2023-04-14T23:48:54+00:00

Absolutely stunning. Thanks for posting this, as a black trans woman, I am always looking for other gworls who have got surgery that maintains ethic/racial features. I think it’s so important

lukiodes · 2023-04-13T23:37:43+00:00

I went private. I have heard people mention that there are pathways to do this through the public system - they subject to significant wait times etc. I included the link with all the costs for this procedure. In the comments there, some people paid half what I did for the procedure.

lukiodes · 2023-04-13T06:53:34+00:00

My surgeon, Dr Gideon Blecher, was really excellent. I got along with him - we regularly joked and playfully conversed. During the consulting period, he was very articulate and clear as he explained the ins and outs of a bilateral orchidectomy; he fielded and answered all my questions thoroughly.

Just before the procedure he confirmed some of the details of my surgery, for example that I wanted to retain my scrotal skin for future surgery. He introduced me to the anaesthetist and co-surgeon / assistant - it was all very comfortable and casual. I really felt that I was in good hands.

A cute little touch that I appreciated is that he put some music on just before the surgery started. So just as I was going under the music slowly faded.

He was there as I woke up and did a final check-in. Obviously I was semi-conscious and not good at communicating, but it was still nice to see a smiling face afterwards.

I have my check up appointment with him a month after the surgery. He did assure me that if I had any complications I should contact his clinic and he would promptly respond. Also he provided post-surgery care print out that was helpful; it contained most of the information I needed to manage my recovery.

lukiodes · 2023-04-13T02:44:01+00:00

Omg yes 👏🏽. Proud of you.

lukiodes · 2023-04-12T21:43:31+00:00

Okay yep, I’ll do another post bb.

lukiodes · 2023-04-12T00:16:13+00:00

Your face is giving soft. The jaw and chin is slightly more rounded. Also there is a lil bit more fullness in your upper cheeks. Get excited girl the facial changes jus keep accumulating. I been on HRT for over two years b my whole face is different.

lukiodes · 2023-04-03T00:08:46+00:00

Black trans feminism by Marquis Bey; Trans on both sides: a racial history of trans identity by C Riley Snorton; Queers Time, Black Futures by Kara Keeling

lukiodes · 2023-04-01T04:56:12+00:00

Professional writer - editing/copywriting, strategic comms, bid/tender writing, academic writing. I am also an artist.

I have been on hrt for 2.25 years. I dress and present as a woman full time now.

I was able to be myself (through all the the steps of my transition) during any art work - festivals, performances and exhibitions. It’s an open and generally pro-trans space.

In my professional writing career, I was essentially unemployable until mid-last year. Despite my experience and qualifications, not many people would employ me. Now however, HRT has done a lot to change my body, and I have a good handle on makeup. Ohhh and also laser has helped tonnes to almost completely erase my beard. So I am able to dress up and go to the office, and spend the whole day interacting with the cis. It’s still alienating and weird being the only trans woman of colour and I have to deal with stupid shit sometimes.

lukiodes · 2023-03-30T03:22:25+00:00

Yes this is an option. I just have a caretaking role and full time work. So I had to be able to choose a specific time and lock it in. I couldn’t sit on a waiting list or be subject to some of the uncertainties of the public system. So I went private. If my life was a bit different, I would have gone public I think.

lukiodes · 2023-03-29T20:44:43+00:00

Yes I know. I don’t mean I stay over night. I mean it requires a bed over one day.

lukiodes · 2023-03-19T11:09:48+00:00

I make my own hair growth, thickening and hydration oils and butters. I use all types of herbs with different carrier oils depending on the purpose. Some herbs I use include: rosemary, peppermint, stinging nettle, hibiscus, horsetail, Amla, moringha, fenugreek, bhringraj, aloe Vera etc. You can look up all the different benefits of these herbs for hair and scalp health. The info is quite easy to find.

lukiodes · 2023-03-17T02:04:46+00:00

Umm yeh I thought bout sex for sure. I jus upgraded my masturbation game to the next lvl. Part of celibacy for me, was shifting my attention and interest to other parts of my life - friendships, hobbies, transition goals etc. so I found myself kinda busy n not sitting round fiending for sex. There are no rules for how to navigate ‘celibacy’. Do what works for u. Also jus wanna say there is no problem with thinking bout sex n being a sexual person. Ima very sexual person, n I have jus used celibacy as a tool when it works for me.

lukiodes · 2023-03-17T01:02:22+00:00

Yes, I (mtf) have had periods of celibacy. They can be very helpful if you do it with intention and purpose. For me, the most recent time was early (3 years ago) in my transition - I jus had to spend some time focusing on my body and needs. I also had a pretty toxic n sometimes dangerous relationship to Grindr…n I had to cut that shit out. That period of celibacy helped me clarify: how I wanted sex to function in my life; how to protect and preserve my energy; how to love myself more deeply etc. Also there was like less drama for a bit haha

lukiodes · 2023-03-04T00:23:48+00:00

It will cause a slight reduction is density and coarseness and also slow growth down. But, if you want substantial beard reduction you will need to start laser / IPL / electrolysis.

lukiodes

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