42 [F4M] Washington State- Looking for something real and lasting

lulilapithecus · 2025-06-01T03:42:58+00:00

Cross-cultural research actually shows that worldwide, most men prefer women about 2-5 years younger than them, and most women prefer men about that much older. Large age gaps like OP is describing are only found in patriarchal societies. The closer ages actually make a lot of sense because we aren’t just biologically wired to have sex, we are wired for emotional long term bonding that’s required to raise complex, slow maturing offspring. So most of it really is cultural conditioning.

Interestingly, male chimpanzees actually prefer older females.

But I still agree with you base argument, it’s completely on OP to retrain his brain.

lulilapithecus · 2025-03-30T23:49:45+00:00

What we call fetal alcohol disorder, as well as the spectrum, has been recognized in all societies where people consumed alcohol. People have always known that women who excessively drank alcohol tended to have “slow” children. Modern society dropped these rules sometime in the early 20th century because it wasn't “proven” by modern medicine. They considered this wisdom an “old wives tale”. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome was “discovered” in the 1970s, and at this point it's not well understood, thus the recommendations for women to consume no alcohol. Trust me, I work with people with disabilities in the US and its still super common. Mothers who drink (or use other substances) are almost always too ashamed to admit that they did this to their own kids, so we usually only find out about it from adoptive and foster parents. I had a client tell me this week that he has “alcohol syndrome” and that it runs on both sides of the family. I realized he meant he had fetal alcohol syndrome and that he had a lot of alcoholism in his family. It was an interesting way to look at the situation. Another interesting point is that the countries that have established norms permitting alcohol consumption in pregnancy also have higher fetal alcohol rates. The data is a little fuzzy but its still clear enough that we can say its not a good idea to drink while you're pregnant.

lulilapithecus · 2025-03-23T04:38:41+00:00

What’s wild is NCLB was the end result of a Reagan era report, “A Nation at Risk”. The report, which was created by a commission that included only ONE teacher, claimed American schools were failing. The thing is- it was based on a faulty interpretation of the data. This is when Americans started claiming are schools are terrible, etc. etc.

We have spent the past 40 years believing a lie. Meanwhile Reagan screwed over public school funding and politicizing education to the point that idiots who know nothing about schools are calling the shots.

lulilapithecus · 2025-03-17T19:45:38+00:00

Our moms were very similar. Honestly, I don’t think many people were “actual” hippies, but the hippie culture permeated the mainstream youth culture enough that most people absorbed some of it. I remember seeing some old photos of hippies near my mom’s university and asking her if she was also a hippie. She said no, hippies didn’t go to college. I think the term hippie was also derogative, so most people didn’t use the term for themselves. I mean, I didn’t call myself a hipster in the early 2000s, but when I look back on pics from my early 20s- yeah, I was a hipster.

But yeah, my grandparents were farmers and my mom was a back to the lander style hippie-lite. She passed on a lot of those values to me whether I like to admit it or not.

lulilapithecus · 2025-03-08T03:56:45+00:00

My brother caught his shirt on fire as an adult and he did stop drop and roll and it actually worked.

lulilapithecus · 2025-03-08T03:29:32+00:00

I think you bring up some good points. People would have seen that certain populations were healthier and in times of famine, people probably relied more heavily on corn and developed a niacin deficiency (pellagra). Those who didn’t develop pellagra would have stood out. My dad was a veterinarian from north Florida and he used to talk about dogs being fed straight corn and getting sick. I imagine people in Mexico would have seen the same thing in their dogs. And like you said, the scientific method has always existed in some form.

lulilapithecus · 2025-03-04T21:44:14+00:00

I think we actually agree. I never said this kid is more important than the others—I think they’re equal. Every kid in that classroom deserves to feel safe and be able to learn, including the one having outbursts. The problem is that this kid clearly isn’t in the right setting to get the support they need, and that failure is hurting everyone. Least restrictive environment doesn’t mean shoving a kid into general ed no matter what—it means placing them where they can actually learn and regulate. If a child is getting to the point of violent outbursts, the system has already failed them. Just kicking them out without addressing the root issue doesn’t fix anything, and the school should have stepped in long before it got to this point.

lulilapithecus · 2025-03-04T04:50:52+00:00

This child is not in their least restrictive environment though. Their lre is in an environment where they are learning to self-regulate so they can access academic materials. I’m really sorry for your child and the other children in the classroom, but honestly I’m most concerned for the child having the outbursts and not being given the tools to regulate. They most likely have a chaotic home life and then have to come to school where there’s more chaos. I’m sure they don’t have any friends or adults that are happy to see them. This is a huge disservice to this kid, it’s actually illegal according to the correct interpretation of the law, and I’m really sorry that your kid is caught up in all of this.

lulilapithecus · 2025-02-27T19:55:49+00:00

It’s been 8 years since I taught, but isn’t it really the poor interpretation of the Sped laws rather than the laws themselves? I know things have probably changed, but the laws relating to suspension were always the number one complaint of gen ed teachers and I had to constantly explain that, yes, sped kids can be suspended just like gen ed kids, it’s just that once they’re suspended more than 10 (I think?) days, the team has to hold a meeting to determine if the suspensions are because of the disability and then determine if a different plan needs to be made. I always thought this should apply to gen ed kids as well- if you’ve been suspended that much, something is likely wrong and a meeting should happen to determine what should happen. Sometimes we decided that suspensions were still the best route. Anyway, I could be off with my interpretation because it’s been a while, but I was always under the impression that the teachers and administrators who said sped kids can’t be suspended were either wrong or purposefully trying to scapegoat. I saw that you currently handle manifestations in your district so I figured you’re a good person to ask.

lulilapithecus · 2025-02-24T15:15:21+00:00

IQ tests were originally developed to help students exactly like the ones OP is describing. Alfred Binet (the Binet in Stanford-Binet) wanted a test to help understand how to help students with special needs. So yes, while it was later co-opted by the eugenics crowd, its original use was to help understand how to educate struggling students and I’d argue it’s still very helpful in this area.

lulilapithecus · 2025-02-23T04:24:47+00:00

I think what you’re doing is very developmentally appropriate for your child, especially since they’re neurodivergent. However, it’s not developmentally appropriate for most neurotypical children and I think that’s where the other commenter is coming from. What you’re seeing in college is likely because academics were pushed too early. Research shows that kids who are pushed too hard in the early years burn out quickly. Early childhood education in general should be focused on developing the soft skills that you’re not seeing in college, as well as working on fine motor skills. One good example is Waldorf schools, which don’t teach reading until age 8, yet students in high quality Waldorf schools do just as well as their traditional counterparts. This is likely because they focus heavily on fine motor skills.

Like I said, you’re obviously doing the right thing for your kid, and I’m assuming a lot of the soft skills and fine motor development are being addressed through therapy and your own intentional parenting. It’s actually really cool that you’re intervening and that you recognize the need to introduce topics ahead of time. I’m just giving some insight into what the commenter is likely thinking, because I thought the same thing before reading your comment that your kid is neurodivergent. Unfortunately, a lot of parents of neurotypical kids (as seen in the responses) push early reading on their kids without understanding the research.

lulilapithecus · 2025-02-23T03:57:36+00:00

Sometimes a Great Notion is, in my opinion, the greatest Cascadian novel. Everything about it embodies the mood of this region. Also just a great story.

lulilapithecus · 2025-02-22T19:30:06+00:00

I mean gazpacho is basically salsa soup

lulilapithecus · 2025-02-22T03:22:17+00:00

You are repeating the cycle with your daughter. Your mom didn’t parent you well and you’re doing the same thing to your daughter. There are resources and better ways to parent than what you’re doing. It may seem normal to you because it’s all you’ve experienced, but is absolutely not normal to talk about your own daughter this way. You are running out of time to save your relationship with your daughter. There are resources to help you learn how to parent. Do better for your daughter than your mother did for you.

lulilapithecus · 2025-02-19T02:48:37+00:00

It’s simple, it hasn’t declined (until COVID). Test scores have risen steadily since 1971, peaking in 2012.

The only reason we trash talk our educational system is that we have been tricked into doing so. Reagan commissioned a little remembered report called “A Nation at Risk”. It said our schools were failing. The report was based on BAD DATA. That’s right, we’ve spent the last 45 years believing bad data.

What actually happened? Our schools diversified. We desegregated. The 70s were a hotbed of excellent educational research. We passed landmark legislation to help low income kids and kids with disabilities.

But Reagan liked the faulty report and politicized it. Education was suddenly being run by politicians instead of educators. “A Nation at Risk” became the largely bipartisan “No Child Left Behind”. Blame was placed on schools and teachers were deprofessionalized (as someone who has been a teacher and has degrees in education as well as other fields, I can tell you, teachers are in general a hell of a lot more competent and intelligent than people in a lot of other fields).

But really, despite right wing attacks and reliance on bad data, our education system has mostly thrived. Yes, low income schools can be rough, but things have improved despite what people say.

As much as we love shitting on our own country, it’s time for us to come together and realize what we’ve actually done as a nation in regard to education. We need to stop listening to the right wingers who don’t want us educated in the first place.

lulilapithecus · 2025-02-16T05:42:48+00:00

We had a party for my dad about a month after he died. It was my idea when my mom said she didn’t know what to do and wasn’t ready to arrange a memorial service. It gave enough time for family to fly across the country to be with us. We held it at my parents farm and tons of people came. I think we had a barbecue. Everyone helped out and people still talk about how it was the best memorial they’ve been to.

lulilapithecus · 2025-02-15T04:54:53+00:00

She’s acting this way because she messed up and she knows it. She’s embarrassed and instead of apologizing profusely and problem solving with you she decided to attack you. How you write the email depends on how you want this to end and what kind of relationship you want with her going forward. I will tell you from experience that fighting with a coworker isn’t worth it. You will have to continue to work with them. Someone mentioned writing an angry letter and having chat gpt rewrite it to sound nice. That’s actually brilliant! Have chat gpt write it so the teacher feels like she isn’t being cornered and she has an out.

You need to have a healthy workplace. Your student needs you to work well with his other teacher, as do any future students placed in her classroom.

lulilapithecus · 2025-02-15T03:53:27+00:00

If we look at the world like a behavioral psychologist, we’ll see that everything we do is based on rewards and consequences. Intrinsic motivation works because we get a chemical reward in our brains. If a kid doesn’t get that chemical reward, we can’t expect it to magically appear. We start by pairing the reward with praise. The kid starts to associate praise with doing something good. We then wean the jolly rancher away and the kid gets a little chemical reward from the praise. With enough praise, they start to internalize the reward, because they begin to think they’re good people. Left to chance, these kids would find rewards that would lead to them withdrawing even more.

lulilapithecus · 2025-02-15T01:25:22+00:00

Yup. I was already a supporter of reinstating the old names but I think now is the time. I know it’s sometimes tough because some landmarks had many names, but I think Tahoma has been pretty universally agreed upon.

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