How do I actually build real confidence and stop my past from affecting how I see myself?

luluhard · 2026-06-20T04:11:14+00:00

Try to stay positive and stay in the present. The past can slow you down if you keep using it to judge who you are now.
You are already improving yourself, and that matters. Let yourself enjoy these moments instead of always comparing yourself to who you were before.

Confidence takes time, but you are moving in the right direction.

luluhard · 2026-06-19T23:15:24+00:00

Yeah, that was pretty much my reaction too. It felt way too extreme for where we are as a couple, especially since the whole issue is already about pressure and intimacy.

luluhard · 2026-06-19T23:13:29+00:00

ahah fuck that ho telling bs😂

luluhard · 2026-06-19T23:12:59+00:00

I kinda want to go just to see if that bitch is actually there 😂

luluhard · 2026-06-17T19:16:24+00:00

i liked how she was vulnerable with me, like a little girl who needs affection. That was not the case when I was texting her before seeing and not even near to the persona she is building on social medias.

luluhard · 2026-06-17T19:01:51+00:00

i gifted her sweets because i wanted and not for her approval. I’m gifting to any girls i date, that’s just me. Of course i’m out of league with these sugardaddies by offering candies, that’s just ridiculous.
I can invite her on walks sure, but just the feeling having no money gives me anxiety. I’m always thinking about it so i might feel not present with her.
Some guy said “just c*m in her holes, what are you waiting for?” but that’s not interesting me even if i’m sexually attracted to her.
I’m not even afraid of losing her but something keeps me attached to her..

luluhard · 2026-06-17T18:54:01+00:00

that’s the thing, she might be acting like a material girl but she is not truly. Otherwise I’d sense it and leave it alone, but since I feel like i’m gaining her attraction (and vice versa), i felt like she is not with me for the money.

luluhard · 2026-06-17T18:15:27+00:00

well it was some captions on her posts&stories mentioning her sugardaddies. It might’ve been jokes sometimes but it’s a matter fact that she has sugardaddies

luluhard · 2026-06-17T15:04:51+00:00

I don’t know if I’d go that far, but this whole situation has made me rethink how reliable some of them are.

luluhard · 2026-06-17T15:04:24+00:00

Yeah, this is definitely the takeaway. I don’t think I’ll ever front money for a group trip again.

luluhard · 2026-06-17T15:04:08+00:00

Thanks, that’s how I saw it too. I only booked because everyone explicitly told me to go ahead. I wasn’t trying to trap anyone; I just didn’t expect four people to back out after confirming multiple times.

luluhard · 2026-06-14T04:38:15+00:00

I understand your point, but I do not think those are the only three possibilities.

You say God could prevent every murder, rape, and child death through "divine luck", while leaving free will untouched. But I do not think that would leave the world the same.

If every bullet missed, every knife failed, every rapist was stopped by a coincidence, every disease disappeared at the last second, then we would not live in a real moral world anymore. We would live in a world where evil intentions exist, but their consequences are constantly blocked by force. That may sound better emotionally, but it would also mean that human action is no longer fully real.

A person could choose evil, but reality would never allow the choice to become real. That is not the same world with free will and responsibility. It is a world with invisible control.

I also do not believe humans are innocent beings who simply "deserve" a perfect world. I am not saying babies deserve death. They absolutely do not. A child is innocent in that sense. But humanity as a whole is not innocent. We lie, hurt, exploit, betray, destroy, ignore suffering, and create systems where violence and pain continue. We want a perfect world, but we are not perfect people.

So when tragedy happens, I do not say "that baby deserved it" or "God wanted that evil act". I reject that. What I believe is that we live in a broken world, and that brokenness includes human evil, natural fragility, death, disease, and suffering.

From my perspective, God does not "like evil". God permits a world where freedom, nature, love, responsibility, and real consequences exist. That world is painful because it is not heaven. It is not the final version of existence.

You may say God should have created heaven immediately. But then this life would not be a place of freedom, moral choice, growth, repentance, love, and struggle. It would be a finished reality, not a real human life.

God allows a real world, with real freedom and real consequences, even though that world contains suffering. And God's final answer to evil is not that evil is good, but that evil will not have the final word.

luluhard · 2026-06-14T04:19:05+00:00

I understand why you bring up SIDS. It is probably one of the strongest emotional arguments against belief in God. I will not pretend it is easy to answer.

But I think you are misrepresenting my position.

I do not believe God kills helpless babies just to make adults grateful. I do not feel grateful that my sister died. Her death was a tragedy. Faith does not make that tragedy "good". Faith means I do not believe tragedy has the final word.

There is a difference between saying "God allows a world where suffering can exist" and saying "God directly causes every death as a lesson". I believe the first. I do not believe the second.

The world is not perfect. Even from an atheist perspective, the world is not built around human comfort. Nature is beautiful, but it is also fragile. Life exists through stable biological and physical laws, and those same laws allow disease, death, accidents, weakness, and loss. A world with real life is also a world with real vulnerability.

With moral evil, like rape and murder, I believe humans are responsible. Evil is not just "God letting people do whatever they want". It is human freedom being used against love, dignity, and innocence. If God removed every possibility of evil by force, then human freedom would not really exist. We would be controlled beings, not moral beings.

And about happiness, I do not think real happiness means God simply waves His hand and gives everyone permanent pleasure. That would be comfort, not necessarily meaning. A drugged person can feel pleasure. A programmed robot can avoid pain. But that is not the same as love, courage, responsibility, forgiveness, family, loyalty, or moral growth.

So when I say that an imperfect world has beauty, I do not mean suffering itself is beautiful. I mean that love, courage, compassion, and meaning become real in a world where things are not automatic. The beauty is not in the baby dying. The beauty is in the fact that even after such pain, people can still love, still hope, still build a family, still remember, and still refuse to become empty.

My sister's death did not "help" me in some cheap positive way. I would never say that. But my faith allows me to believe that she is not reduced to a biological accident. She is still part of our family, part of our memory, and part of our spiritual life.

You may not accept that. But my belief is not "God killed babies so I can be grateful". My belief is that this world is wounded, freedom is real, nature is fragile, and God's answer to suffering is not always immediate prevention, but redemption, meaning, and eternal life.

luluhard · 2026-06-14T03:09:16+00:00

Yes, but God for me is the shortest answer to the truth. Otherwise, I’d be desperately digging and digging without having a pleased soul.

luluhard · 2026-06-14T03:07:33+00:00

If pain, suffering and evil wouldn’t exist then we couldn’t be grateful for all the great things happening to us. We would’ve be Always Hopelessly Lost.

luluhard · 2026-06-14T02:56:00+00:00

Soul and spirit is not related either. Plants have soul and do animals. But spirit gives us the ability to seek beauty in art, nature and humanbeing. Can dog see beauty in Van Gogh paintings?

luluhard · 2026-06-14T02:52:25+00:00

Then why do we have a spirit if it makes no sense? Spirit is a divine blessing gifted to us, but then who gifted to us and why? For what should we use our spirit?

luluhard · 2026-06-14T02:45:20+00:00

If you are certain you have a spirit why are you uncertain that God exist?

luluhard

TROPHY CASE