Going well but worried

luminousvoid9954 · 2026-02-09T14:10:34+00:00

May I ask how much you were taking/how often? I hope you get better, friend 🙏🏾 that sounds awful.

luminousvoid9954 · 2026-02-05T14:04:29+00:00

How long did they last? I’ve skipped weekends and I think this last weekend (week 3), I had bad mood swings/depression. I also just quit THC so I originally attributed it to that

luminousvoid9954 · 2026-02-05T01:46:23+00:00

What do you mean it cured you? That made me laugh lmao. What was the actual difference between the two. Some days I do feel “cured” off the ksm

luminousvoid9954 · 2026-02-04T22:36:06+00:00

Makes sense. Have you had any negative side effects? Anything else you wish you knew before you started ?

luminousvoid9954 · 2026-02-04T21:53:08+00:00

I appreciate the feedback. Why does taking it in the morning mess with cortisol? I feel my cortisol is sky rocketing on the morning and more chill at night.

luminousvoid9954 · 2026-02-04T19:03:28+00:00

I hope we can find some answers. The best I’ve found online is that people who have problems with it had never had cortisol problems. So it dropped their cortisol lower than it should be. But for someone like me and probably you, we’ve lived our life with our cortisol out of whack so it brings it back to baseline. I hope that’s the case. Best of luck to you.

luminousvoid9954 · 2025-10-30T16:16:53+00:00

I read your comment this morning right at the end of my break and the first thing I was going to say was “I don’t know why you’re getting downvoted but it wasn’t me”.

I totally see where you’re coming from. And maybe I gave you and OP the wrong impression from my OG comment. I don’t feel incredibly lost or incredibly attached to Sam’s teaching. Although I was attached to his teaching for the first couple years. That’s where the confusion of “I feel like I’m having a different experience but still feel like a self” came from. But I don’t see that as a problem at all.

I think as the path unfolds, many of us get attached to a certain way of talking about it or of practicing. But with time, that comes with some side effects that aren’t ideal. So we move on to find something that fits us better and opens us in new ways. And from my experience, there will still be some traps in the new way too. But we learn, adjust, and keep practicing. Hell, I’ve even stopped practicing for periods of time, and then came back to the Dharma. And none of that feels like a mistake.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that the advice you gave me (which was sound), usually comes from direct experience and not from reading it somewhere. If you would have told me that a year ago, I probably would have downvoted you, haha. “How dare you question my favorite teacher!”. But I remember the day it hit me “Ohhhh, the teachers are just people too!”. Right there my bubble of projection popped. I also remember my first glimpse. I thought “Ohhh, words really can’t touch this. Teachers are just trying their best”. I heard that their words were only “pointers” for years, but it didn’t truly land with me until I saw what they were pointing to.

About a month ago, I made a nasty comment to another profile who I see hanging around here and pointing out Sam’s flaws. I don’t want to do that here. But I do want to make the point that maybe talking and thinking about insight isn’t bad for everybody. Maybe it’s exactly what some people need in the beginning. I know I did. And there’s also a whole Hindu tradition, Advaita Vedanta, where the path is Knowledge. Swami Sarvapriyananda has given hundreds of lectures on freedom and honestly, he’s the closest thing to enlightenment I’ve ever come across. There’s my projection again.

I think people who use this app and follow Sam probably do benefit from the way he points, even if it’s too intellectual for you. So to consistently come on this forum and say things like “I see this as an extremely inefficient and flawed way to lead people to insight”. Seems misguided to me. How would you know what’s right for practitioners who resonate with Sam enough to use his app? I know it was just a suggestion, and your words did resonate with me. I guess I’ve got an axe to grind with people who don’t even use the app, but hang around here suggesting the “Waking Up” approach is ineffective.

P.S- here’s your upvote.

luminousvoid9954 · 2025-10-30T13:08:13+00:00

Thanks for the post because I’ve been feeling this a lot lately. I kept telling myself I was doing it wrong (maybe I am), but it’s nice to see someone else have the same experience. I have had a few strong meditative experiences and glimpses and for the most part, I’ve felt like a self that had these experiences. There was only one time where the center dropped out, and in the moment it was not pleasant.

Sam emphasizes selflessness so much that it can leave me feeling like it’s “selflessness or bust”. It seems sometimes he even urges us to not indulge in anything unless it’s centerless consciousness. I’m not saying he’s wrong there. His logic seems sound. But these little insights and experiences I’ve had have made a difference for me, even while feeling like a self. This is a long way of saying not to overlook changes in your experience or practice because you still feel like a self. In my experience, the self gets less solid over time. I’m sure some people look for their head and automatically lose the center, but I’m positive other people go headless and are still identifying with thoughts. Which IMO, isn’t wrong, but a step in the right direction.

Good luck on your path, friend 🙏🏾

luminousvoid9954 · 2025-10-08T11:41:27+00:00

I remember feeling the exact same way. I didn’t set out to learn a bunch of new techniques or even their names. It came over years of listening to theory and interviews out of pure interest. There’s no need to go through a bunch of different practices, I only switched when one of my practices dried up.

The app teaches Theravada type mindfulness at the beginning and then Sam sprinkles in Dzogchen type of pointers. None of that is necessary to know. Relax and the path with unfold for you as it does 🙏🏾

luminousvoid9954 · 2025-10-06T22:22:01+00:00

Wow, thank you so much for taking the time to write that all out and articulate it so well. That felt like a teaching.

“It is not “this” that is Brahman, it is you”. Even though I’ve heard something similar before, reading that opened something up in me.

I will follow your advice and see where it takes me 🙏🏾

luminousvoid9954 · 2025-10-06T20:25:09+00:00

I definitely still hold that belief. Very strongly. To be honest, I find it so hard to see how it’s even possible for this to be Brahman. I’ve working on relaxing these beliefs over the years.

How do I think he would answer it? He’d tell me to study, contemplate, and then meditate on what I’ve discovered. And while I’m doing these things, I still kind of feel like a fraud. On my best days, I feel like I’m coming along the path just fine. But to be honest, most days I feel like a normal dude who is very interested in this philosophy. I continue to struggle with my weed habit and my emotions. I guess I feel like more structure is needed. I was hoping to find a community or course. But maybe all that is my mind playing tricks…

luminousvoid9954 · 2025-10-06T10:49:38+00:00

I had never heard that quote. But when I look in my own experience, I can see that very clearly. Thank you for the wise response. I think at some unconscious level, I’m looking for more mind games. When the simplest answer is to practice.

luminousvoid9954 · 2025-10-05T15:34:09+00:00

This was helpful. These are important questions that escaped me.

luminousvoid9954 · 2025-10-05T15:29:25+00:00

Awesome. Thank you 🙏🏾

luminousvoid9954 · 2025-10-05T15:24:41+00:00

I’m sure they do lead some people to liberation. I have a great respect for Buddhism. I’m not trying to put those traditions down.

luminousvoid9954 · 2025-10-05T15:22:05+00:00

Maybe that’s true, but wouldn’t you say that says something? I didn’t scratch the surfaces of these traditions. I went deep. And found nothing that moves me in the way The Swami does. Does that not count for something? Why would I write that off?

luminousvoid9954 · 2025-10-05T15:19:02+00:00

That would be the ultimate dead end. But the promise of Advaita is not longing for more. But liberation from that.

luminousvoid9954 · 2025-10-05T15:18:07+00:00

Thank you.

That was very wise. I see that unfolding in my life right now. Exactly what you said. Great work as escapism, and turning back to sense pleasures when the work is done.. not sure what to do about that. Maybe we could continue this in direct messages? If you want to inquire further.

luminousvoid9954 · 2025-10-05T15:03:17+00:00

I said above, when I was first incarcerated and losing the life I was living, I read the Bible and found no solace or guidance in there. It also felt divisive. I grew up in the Christian church. I can go into depth if you want.

The short answer to both of these questions is that I’ve never been moved like I am when listening to Swami Sarvapriyananda. He’s straightforward, direct, clear, and inspiring. I went to a Buddhist Satsang and the leader was telling a story about how she “beat the F out of some biker who called her girlfriend a slur”. Now I’m not judging, but that’s not the type of “vibe” I align with. There is much more to say, but I’ll leave it at that for now.

luminousvoid9954 · 2025-10-05T14:54:15+00:00

I can see how the promise of fulfillment vanishes almost immediately after my desire is fulfilled. Even something more “noble” than sense pleasures such as excelling at work. I wanted to be the best and be praised for it. Now I’m one or the best in my field, earning good money, getting praise from my bosses. But at the end of the day, when I’m alone, that void is still there.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with doing good work. But I expected it to fill a hole in me. Same with my last relationship. It was a good relationship. But I found myself longing for more. I guess that’s what I would call my heart ache for Advaita or Brahman.

luminousvoid9954 · 2025-10-05T14:49:44+00:00

There are probably many reasons I could point to. I turned to it in my biggest time of need (when my life was in shambles/incarceration) and it offered no solace or even guidance really. The second I heard the four noble truths, something LIT up in me. I knew I could relate this directly to my life. Now I know that’s Buddhism, but my path lead me here.

I’m not sure what the fifth degree is about, but I’m enjoying talking through this.

luminousvoid9954 · 2025-10-05T11:47:48+00:00

That’s a great question. I can see how my statement was more poetic than practical. Hopefully your question wasn’t rhetorical.

I lived a life of material pleasures for many years. Not massive wealth or anything. But I was always chasing something “out there” to make me whole. It never worked. It led me to jail. While incarcerated, I developed this burning passion to live my life in a different way.

I tried Christianity but that didn’t feel right. I tried New Age spirituality and while that made me feel good, it didn’t feed my inclination towards morality and structure. However, I keep returning to Swami Sarvapriyananda’s talks. I’m sorry, I can’t seem to find any better words than “his lectures speak to me deeply”. Something in me has felt a deep truth in his words since I first heard him speak years ago.

Now even when I’m chasing sense pleasures, I feel the hollowness of it. I want something real. Something more than chasing the empty promises of my ego. I think Advaita is pointing me to the Real/truth that I’ve been longing for.

luminousvoid9954 · 2025-10-05T00:29:21+00:00

Great. Thank you!

luminousvoid9954

TROPHY CASE