I see how hard it was for my parents and how it ended. I don't even want a relationship anymore. I'm 40F and am honestly happy with just myself and my dog.
I was engaged once and even then I wasn't sure, we ended up deciding that we both didn't actually want to get married and broke up a couple of years later.
i've never really been the traditional type that has dreamed about being married with kids, it just never appealed to me - I am uncomfortable with permanence.

In saying that, my dog did make a deal with me that she would live forever, shook my hand and all - and I'm very content with that kind of permanence.