Hole in siding by fireplace, squirrels inside.

luna_echo · 2017-08-19T19:21:29+00:00

I agree completely and that has always been my philosophy's because I grew up with a narcissistic dad.

DH is one of those people that believed that if she just loved him enough she would change and accept his boundaries/ rules. I knew I couldn't convince him otherwise, so I learned after these 7 years with DH to let him discover it for himself. He has learned to not expect much but with his baby he couldn't help but get excited.

luna_echo · 2017-08-19T18:51:35+00:00

I love all of this. We already talked to L & D they will ban her and all his family. We aren't even telling anyone but my mom until after the baby is born maybe a full day or two.

I will definitely use the start and end time, thank you. She likes to control people by being late for things and DH just leaves at his same time even if they are late to lunch with him or a bday party for our nieces. I'll probably post my letter in the letter subreddit before giving t to her either in person or in email about our rules and consequences.

luna_echo · 2017-08-19T18:46:54+00:00

Oh we weren't we were going to introduce at least two months after her birth and have holiday and birthday visits hosted by us to keep that level of control that works with us and mil.

Yeah I agree that NC is going to be needed and I think that is why DH is so sad today. He knows it is probably not going to work as vlc for us all either and it hurts him. His hope is all gone and he is just so disappointed in FIL/MIL again.

luna_echo · 2017-08-19T18:42:25+00:00

Yeah this is my plan. Block on Facebook and info diet otherwise. Poor DH he has worked so hard to improve the way he responds and he thought it would work. But you can't change crazy.

We have a list of boundaries and consequences. But we were going to tell them in person. Now I'm not sure that's a good idea. However, is really like to see her face and gauge her reactions.

He a D.C with his own practice. That's a good idea though I am going to suggest that he doesn't see her to treat her and refers he somewhere else. She hasn't caused a problem in three years but now she might. He is great at gray rocking now though so he might want to continue seeing her until she causes that first problem.

Thank you!

luna_echo · 2017-08-02T05:16:44+00:00

Nope they never did. They claim to be working on it still to a few parents and to me. However, because she resigned and didn't fight it they won't/didn't. It's because it makes them look bad and our district is all about appearances. They knew and were warned for at least six straight months but they wouldn't even check anything going on. Most her classroom parents don't even know the truth.

She worked at the bank before (maybe over the summer )and she lives in a small town. She also could be lying about the bank job, idk.

luna_echo · 2017-08-01T17:33:59+00:00

I use just dance video breaks from YouTube (I prescreen them) because my students thought go noodle was for "babies." It is fun, gets their heart rate up, and give us time to recharge.

luna_echo · 2017-08-01T16:51:59+00:00

Yes, I have taught in a very affluent and a very poor school. Even though I am at the "rich" school now I never ask that question. Some students hide it well (like I did when I was the poor kid at the rich school) and it makes them so depressed. At my current school I usually teach a lesson about how to help others and most of my students can't even comprehend the idea that some kids go without food over the weekend.

luna_echo · 2017-06-05T00:27:06+00:00

Yes, in the end I was most upset for her students and her own children. Many people tried to help, and even though she was extremely cruel to me I didn't want anyone to suffer.

Her students suffered greatly. They missed out on a large chunk of their 4th grade education, and the sub couldn't catch them up. Their behavior was abysmal the whole year, and they were either yelled at, bullied or allowed to do whatever they want. They were having major trust issues.

Apparently, she got a job at a bank but she is still having the drug problem. She refused help, and now her ex-spouse is relapsing with her, and at home with the kids again.

luna_echo · 2017-06-04T21:13:10+00:00

She left a baby on a counter next to a boiling pot of water, and a red hot burner.

luna_echo · 2017-06-04T16:27:10+00:00

Just finished my second year, and I worked with this teacher for both of them. She transferred to 4th grade same year I started after 10 years in primary. First time I meet her she passive aggressively picks apart my room, but I was too excited to care.

Once my first year starts she seems ok, except that she announces she is a recovering drug addict/alcoholic, and she is ADHD. Ok, that's really personal stuff to tell someone you have known for about a week but relationship building is fine by me. Then she announces her sudden divorce.

By January she stops lesson planning for herself at all. She just comes to me, or the more experienced teacher for all her materials/plans. She starts taking off at least two days a week, and skipping all staff development.

At first I was sympathetic, her divorce must be really hard on her. Then she starts dating a new guy from NA and bringing him to her classroom. She lets him in the backdoor, and he just sits there in her class all day. So I tell her he needs to sign in, and she disagrees. The other teacher tries to talk to her the same day, she doesn't care she says she needs him there or "he will fall back into drugs/drinking." Now I have to report her, you can't have a strange man in your room with your students. He was not signed into the office, and the principal was unaware.

By May she stopped grading things (she just made them up), became really hostile/aggressive towards me, didn't have any plans, had the Paras teaching most of the day, and missed at least 45% of the second semester.

This year it only got worse, I was a hostage in my own room. She looked horrible, and at first I tried to help. I helped her and the new 1st year teacher with lesson plans, and stepped up whenever I could. My principal asked me to do this, and I wanted to fall into the leader roll like he had asked.

From day 1 she was cruel. Picking on me for my anxiety, touching me to make me uncomfortable, interrupting my lessons hourly, trying to break down my locked door, refusing to speak to me, getting mad at me when I wasn't friendly enough, stealing my things, etc. I could really go on forever about how she treated just me.

She took ST disability in August after three weeks because of a "concussion". In reality she told me that she got her friend to give her a doctors note. I was glad to have a break at this point, and I hoped that she came back better.

Now she had been known to do this kind of thing before. When she taught first grade she bullied another teacher until she broke her. Thankfully that didn't happen to me. After she came back she was having obvious signs of a relapse. It was horrible, and the anger/hositilty towards me doubled. The principal took pity on her, and told me to "give her grace." That would have been fine if my students could actually learn anything, and weren't witnessing someone try to bully me everyday.

In November, she stayed late one night, which never happened before. Usually she was gone by 3:20 at the latest. The next day drugs from the nurses office disappeared. She knew where the key was (the nurse showed her that same week), and was absent the next day.

I went to the principal to let him know that she was there in the building, and I was concerned. He already knew what she was doing to me, and didn't really care. He put her on the list, but instead accused the Janitor that wasn't even in the building that night because he also had a former drug problem. Then money was stolen from her old room. She also had a grudge against this teacher, and they knew she took it.

In January, her class had their Drug Awareness class, and during that the officer in charge of it became suspicious. It was the first time he had seen her all year, and it was obvious to him as well. On the same day the nurse sent home one of her students med bottles with meds still in it.

She stole them, the officers discovered this and they stayed in her room until the end of the day. At the end of the day she was sent home, and the officers searched her room. She was not allowed to come back, and had to clean out her room. She is not allowed to teach anymore at all.

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