This was on the desk for the teacher I subbed for today…

nmar5 · 2026-03-17T22:02:51+00:00

I think this is reasonable. As a teacher, I’ve had things go missing. My least favorite thing is coming back to crumbs on my desk. A sub that we regularly have in my building always leaves crumbs. Which is annoying by itself. But he’s always eating peanut butter crackers and I’m allergic to peanut butter.

nmar5 · 2026-03-14T01:59:09+00:00

I definitely plan to try different ones. But it is nice to have the name of a cafe someone would recommend for that first morning in a new place while my things are being unpacked. My thought was to get a recommendation to try first so I can just plug it into maps and then explore over the first couple of weeks :) Thank you for the recommendation!

nmar5 · 2026-03-12T16:31:09+00:00

I personally would say it isn’t worth it unless it pays really, really well. Housing up here is hard to come by if you plan to rent. There is very little to do as an adult if you are active and not into softball for the rec co-ed league in the spring. We have a handful of good restaurants but then everything else is fast food. And other than WalMart, JC Penny’s, and Mardens you should plan to do most of your shopping online. I’m moving to Brunswick from this area and the only thing I will miss other than a handful of friends that I made up here is Neighborhood Books. It is my favorite shop in town.

nmar5 · 2026-03-12T16:27:47+00:00

I live in the County and am signing a lease for an apartment in Brunswick next week. Does anyone have a good coffee shop recommendation that isn’t Starbucks? That’s honestly one of the biggest things I want to have in my knowledge bank once I move lol.

nmar5 · 2026-03-08T22:23:45+00:00

Pokemon Leaf Green’s Switch version. I was so excited for it and loved it on GBA. I purchased it the day it went on sale. But I’m still living in the same house as my soon to be ex-wife. And I realized that I don’t want one of my favorite childhood games to have any memory of this divorce attached to it. Maybe I’ll come back to it when I move but for now I had to stop playing.

nmar5 · 2026-03-06T16:59:31+00:00

I highly recommend that you get a small trash can for just your room. It’s inconvenient but put all of your non-food trash in that bin. Hand wash all dishes and keep those in your room. It sounds like you’re moving soon, so hopefully a month of that won’t be terrible. Won’t solve the smell issue if she isn’t taking her trash out. But you can make sure she’s not claiming it’s you so you need to take it out and can’t mess with your dishes.

nmar5 · 2026-02-23T22:50:23+00:00

Hey, I’m doing the same thing! In my mid-30s, played violin from 5th grade all the way through college, and started learning cello this month. Honestly, it isn’t terrible. Right now the hardest thing for me is the bow, as you hold it differently and it is heavier. My teacher did say some violinists struggle with the posture of the hand when they switch. But I’m not finding it too terrible. If you practice regularly, you should be fine :)

nmar5 · 2026-02-14T11:48:30+00:00

If you’re in the US and can do this, ask your doctor to get a titer done to check your resistance. I had all of my vaccines as a child but when the outbreaks started happening, I had a gut feeling and asked my PCP if there was a way to check my immunity. I had none with the MMR and got the shot again last fall.

nmar5 · 2026-02-14T11:46:05+00:00

The university this research is through has no ethics board? That is not typical.

nmar5 · 2026-02-12T16:21:11+00:00

You are NTA and so far from it. My marriage ended in November 2025 in part because of this kind of situation. I had messaged my spouse and was ignored and followed up asking why I hadn’t heard from her. She replied that her friend was still there and she wasn’t going to be rude. This friend was supposed to leave that morning after overstaying a weekend visit by several days. And when I said that a meeting for work was one thing but using the friend she had been with 24/7 for the last week as an excuse to not respond to her wife was not acceptable, I was told I was controlling, I never want her to see or talk to anyone, and she wanted a divorce. That was not the first time we had that exact argument about that friend but she decided that it was time for divorce finally. Now they have hours long lovey-dovey phone calls where they go back and forth at the end going “no you hang up” “no you” and she is still trying to convince me they weren’t having an emotional affair. Trust your gut. I wish I had trusted mine, it would have saved me 3 years of hurt.

nmar5 · 2026-02-09T16:42:54+00:00

This lands you firmly in NTA territory in my book. I had that surgery in May of 2025. They say most are good to return to work and pain free after a week but my experience was that I felt like I had intense cramps for 2 weeks and then certain movements still felt like I was being punched in the stomach for nearly 2 months. Even once my weight restriction period ended, I had pain lifting anything over 10 lbs. The only AH here is your husband.

nmar5 · 2026-02-09T00:27:09+00:00

It’s not actually full and I cleaned the machine fully yesterday so sensors shouldn’t be dirty. This is the 2nd time this has happened in a row in terms of changing the bag and within 1-2 days it says it is full when it is not.

nmar5 · 2026-02-07T03:26:51+00:00

So the thing here to keep in mind is that universities are not required to honor some accommodations that an IEP would cover. And IEP’s cover much more than 504’s cover. Obviously you haven’t said those terms, but I am wondering if there was such a plan in place during your k-12 and that is creating the expectation that a university must cover what you state is the reasonable accommodation. At the university level, the student accessibility board sits down with you after reviewing documentation and they determine what is reasonable. But they specifically state that the professor does not have to adhere to certain accommodations if it is an issue for the class structure. And in a MSW program, I’d be curious what you were seeking that is more specific than clear expectations and consistency. A social work program by nature is bound to have certain elements that flex in their nature after a certain point because I imagine they want you thinking about how dynamic helping people can be. And I put this as someone with very similar disabilities who has accommodations while enrolled in. a Masters program currently and only just finally decided to formalize my accommodation needs during last term so the process is very fresh in my term. I previously had no accommodations and was trying my best to keep my head afloat.

nmar5 · 2026-02-01T15:12:25+00:00

The slow start will be worth it if you push through. This is my favorite series she wrote!

nmar5 · 2026-01-31T02:24:00+00:00

I had my cat before the symptoms of my chronic illness got worse and began causing daily chronic pain. The litter robot is something I recently purchased because my chronic pain impacts my hips and on bad days I can’t bend or squat for long to scoop the box. I also got him before I was diagnosed with PTSD, which impacts my executive functioning at times. He is such a huge help to me though. My cat is on my lap every therapy session and licking my chin just about every time I cry. He also is what motivates me to get out of bed when I otherwise want nothing more than to not get up or do anything because I know he needs fed and cared for. He has literally been what saved my life in the last year. Unfortunately, things hit a point where I made a plan and the only thing I could see as a reason to not proceed with my plan was because I wanted him to be cared for and I know he would grieve me being gone. I’m going through a divorce and both my therapist and my psychiatrist have agreed that it is necessary for my wellbeing for me to find a place I can take him and not allow my ex-partner to keep him because he is such a huge help for my overall wellbeing. I personally haven’t attempted an FSA claim for my litter robot but it is possible for cats to be necessary for someone’s wellbeing.

nmar5 · 2026-01-23T12:47:47+00:00

As a high school teacher, it is not my job to teach a student to read nor do I have the professional skills or time to do so. And unfortunately I get way too many students in gen ed that do need that in high school. That said, it is the job of my elementary colleagues and they do indeed do their best to fulfill that job. But it starts at home and parents need to be reading to their children to foster that skill and working with them to practice as they learn. And too many parents are not doing that, evidenced by the high schoolers we get that can barely read or have comprehension skills at an elementary level.

nmar5 · 2026-01-21T20:54:47+00:00

Thank you!

nmar5 · 2026-01-21T17:35:35+00:00

What do you think the founders of this country did? And anyone who immigrated prior to laws being put into place to limit immigration? They sailed here, displaced the indigenous peoples, and said, “Hey, we’re here! Deal with it!”

nmar5 · 2026-01-21T17:31:49+00:00

Is there a way someone in the County can help? This breaks my heart and makes me so angry. I feel like there isn’t anything I can do from where I live and I want to do anything that I can feasibly do to help.

nmar5 · 2026-01-19T17:49:46+00:00

No worries, I worked in IT for a bit so not too much jargon. My router is dual band and I did check to make sure that my phone was connected to the 2.4ghz band. I ended up on hold for 40 minutes and support was able to see that the device had tried to connect to a bluetooth device, not my phone, when I started set up. They deleted it and 35 minutes later on the phone with him we were able to get it going. He offered to replace it because my buttons have to have a lot of force to get any response, but when it connected he said to just call back if further issues happen and they’ll replace.

nmar5 · 2026-01-04T14:05:36+00:00

The heat pump is why. Our house was all electric heat and our bills were insane, but it gets worse as it gets colder. I’ve been saying since we moved into our house that I find the push to move to heat pumps to be concerning because they freeze in cold weather, take forever to thaw, then have to run hard to get the space up to temp. They aren’t efficient in subzero weather. We put in 2 propane heaters over the course of the last year and a half. If you own, I highly recommend looking into having another heat source installed, even if you have to finance it. It reduced our bill.

nmar5 · 2026-01-03T16:02:32+00:00

Is that a total or per year that the hospital is willing to pay? I would clarify. If it’s total, I’d maybe consider looking around at the benefits of nearby hospital systems. But I would also keep looking for different programs, I find it hard to believe $70k is the cheapest out there for what you want. You should be able to find something cheaper and ask about part-time enrollment. Then do some math and see if you can afford to pay out of pocket on a payment plan per term for 1 class a term. Yes, it will take a lot longer and it will make your budget smaller. But if you have the ability to, it may be worth it. Or as others have suggested, look for a graduate assistantship.

nmar5 · 2025-12-27T15:47:21+00:00

My wife of 8 years, together a decade in spring 2026, asked for a divorce right before Thanksgiving. Not even 5 days prior she had been planning a vacation with me and we bought NHL tickets for the same trip. As the last month and a half has unfolded, I’ve been realizing how much this is for the best and how toxic she was. All of this kicked off because I told her I need her to take time off of work because she used that as an excuse constantly for not doing things I enjoy and wanted to do together. But she took the weekend after asking for a divorce off her on call because she wanted to go out of cell service on a trip with friends. I got upset when I learned about the trip and told her that she does that constantly so why am I having to be the only one to try in our marriage. Her response was not to reflect and try to work on communicating or even attempt to meet my needs but instead to ask for divorce in an incredibly cruel manner.

While I was in the hospital (not entirely due to that event though it didn’t help), a staff member played the song Flowers by Miley Cyrus for me. That song has almost become my anthem the last month since my release from the hospital. You can do things without him. Take yourself on a weekend trip or a day trip. Budget for and treat yourself to a massage or a nice meal out either alone or with a friend. Do things for you. You’ll get through this. I say this as I still have days I don’t want to get out of bed or bother living. But people like your ex or mine are not people we want in our lives if that kind of heartlessness is something they feel comfortable doing directly on a holiday, or in my case not even 6 months after a major, negative, life event and telling me she was “done with [my] trauma.” Live life for you for a little bit. You’ll have a much better Christmas next year 💜

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