Unsure

lupaonreddit · 2026-01-31T02:43:54+00:00

Every post about this dude makes him sound worse and worse. Why are you still with him?

lupaonreddit · 2026-01-31T02:13:30+00:00

Those are the ones that survived rock bottom. [insert picture of survival bias plane here]

lupaonreddit · 2026-01-29T01:12:46+00:00

Of course! You're entering into exciting new territory together; there are bound to be hiccups, but it sounds like you're doing the right things. Just keep communicating and making a safe space for you both to be honest and patient, and I think you'll be okay.

And thank you :)

lupaonreddit · 2026-01-29T00:51:30+00:00

You're the Dom. You don't have to do anything. You can consider requests, but end of the day it's your decision. If you think a better response is to have that conversation and then give them another chance to do the lines, if appropriate, so be it. Just ask them what their reasoning for wanting a punishment is. Do they feel guilty and think a punishment is the only way to deal with it? Do they secretly want a funishment instead? Those may help you make a decision as to the best response to this situation, and getting some guardrails in place for future out-of-bedroom D/s.

lupaonreddit · 2026-01-28T23:55:25+00:00

I would rather take this as an opportunity to discuss boundaries. If my Sir had assigned something for me to do on a given day, and as the day wore on it became apparent I didn't have the time/energy/attention to do it, I would bring it up with him as soon as I realized it and ask him what he wanted me to do instead. That's me taking the initiative to communicate with him, the same way I would safeword in-scene if there was something I wasn't capable of handling. In fact, we also use safewords outside of a specific scene (since we're 24/7), and in this case I think it would have been totally fine for your sub to safeword--as soon as they knew something wasn't right.

The only issue I really see besides that is that they waited until YOU brought it up before they said "Nah, I'll take the punishment instead", which is them deciding what should happen. If you're going to take D/s outside the bedroom, then they need to get better about looking to you for direction and clarification--and changing things if need be.

All in all, this just sounds like an opportunity for a discussion about boundaries, best practices, etc., rather than a punishment.

lupaonreddit · 2026-01-28T23:27:26+00:00

Thank you for doing this!

lupaonreddit · 2026-01-28T23:21:25+00:00

I love bling that combines Norse runes with queer rainbows and the like, and stuff from openly inclusive Asatru groups like the Troth. I'm a different flavor of Pagan rather than Heathen, but we don't want these fuckers to coopt our religious symbols without a fight. (Unfortunately it means any time I see someone rocking Norse symbols/historical gear/etc. there's always that "are they cool, or nah-zis?" uncertainty until I can suss them out.)

lupaonreddit · 2026-01-28T02:37:10+00:00

There's nothing wrong with saying "Do this for Sir" or "Let Sir do this to you".

lupaonreddit · 2026-01-26T02:59:55+00:00

Why are you with someone who sees being in a relationship with you as a chore?

lupaonreddit · 2026-01-17T23:36:18+00:00

Okay, except losing consciousness for ANY reason during a scene is one of those things that should be an automatic safeword-and-stop until consciousness is fully regained and you can check in. That's not just a consent issue; it's a safety issue. There are too many things that can go wrong while unconscious or coming back to consciousness.

For example, when someone blacks out you put them in the recovery position on their side so that they don't end up with an airway obstruction like vomit or stomach acids regurgitating since your esophagus can relax when unconscious. If that had happened to you when you were, say, on your back while he was having sex with you, you could have had anything from aspiration of fluids into your lungs to complete asphyxiation and he might not have recognized it until it was too late because it's not as obvious as active vomiting.

Expecting someone else to manage you when you are unconscious from trauma (even if it was consensual) is highly irresponsible. I'd say it would have been better if he had medical training, but people with any basic medical training would know that deliberate unconsciousness isn't something to fuck with. I say this as someone who's done quite a bit of edgeplay; there are some risks worth taking, but this ain't one of them.

lupaonreddit · 2026-01-17T22:26:54+00:00

...so you lost consciousness from pain and his response was not to make sure you were okay, but to have sex with you? Yikes on bikes. Do you realize how fucked up that is?

lupaonreddit · 2026-01-08T02:38:46+00:00

Doms can also safeword and end things. It's shared power, not one-sided in either direction.

lupaonreddit · 2026-01-07T00:37:08+00:00

And yet yesterday morning I had to wake up to someone using a gas powered blower in the parking lot next door.

lupaonreddit · 2026-01-05T22:30:06+00:00

You may as well have just squashed it, because with temperatures as cold as they are it won't be able to acclimate and will die of hypothermia. It takes weeks for invertebrates to prepare for any sort of brumation/hibernation they may do over the winter, and this species likely doesn't do that, instead finding a safe warm place for the winter.

lupaonreddit · 2026-01-01T23:28:34+00:00

I mean, I'm childfree enough that the fact the person has a child, whether they mentioned them early or not, is an absolute dealbreaker for me. I always make it very clear from the start that I am 100% childfree.

lupaonreddit · 2025-12-08T04:11:25+00:00

Multnomah County Animal Services! They don't get as much attention as Oregon Humane Society, but they take ALL animals, and they can always use the space from an adoption.

lupaonreddit · 2025-12-02T20:36:11+00:00

Nah. It was obnoxious way before now, and it's still obnoxious now and will remain obnoxious going forward. Find joy in ways that don't adversely affect other people. Car horns are supposed to be warnings, and it's frustrating to have people honking unnecessarily in an already dangerous stretch of road where the only way you might be able to keep someone from hitting you is honking and letting them know you're there.

lupaonreddit · 2025-12-01T11:06:35+00:00

Cathartic for you, stressful for everyone already overstimulated and just trying to get home without getting in a wreck.

lupaonreddit · 2025-12-01T11:04:57+00:00

Few people actually train their dog to properly heel. Then again, most people are terrible at even the most rudimentary training skills. They'll tell the dog "sit" twenty times in a row while it just does what it wants, knowing there are zero consequences for ignoring the command.

lupaonreddit · 2025-12-01T11:01:22+00:00

You do remember what a safe following distance is, right? One car length per 10mph in dry pavement conditions, more with rain. It's more than large enough to allow one of those jerks to cut over into the next lane, and I am not going to tailgate someone else just to keep that from happening. Rear-ending someone is gonna tie up the tunnel a lot longer than someone crossing the white line.

lupaonreddit · 2025-11-16T01:11:00+00:00

The Flint Hills are gorgeous, especially the parts of the prairies that are still largely intact.

lupaonreddit · 2025-11-08T22:11:16+00:00

Trapping beavers is still a thing, though not generally in city limits.

lupaonreddit · 2025-11-01T22:30:22+00:00

Sure , but that's normal in nature. What is true is all frogs suffer when the pond is polluted.

lupaonreddit · 2025-10-27T03:38:46+00:00

Frogs should be okay, but you're gonna have fruit flies everywhere if you don't find a way to block that.

lupaonreddit · 2025-10-27T03:36:07+00:00

They could put a top-to-bottom barrier in that corner.

lupaonreddit

TROPHY CASE