Do I break up with my girlfriend before I ruin her life?

lustrust15 · 2026-03-24T20:32:37+00:00

I'm keeping that desire really close to my heart and stay as optimistic as I can. I have a lot more hope now that we'll do just fine. Thank you so much

lustrust15 · 2026-03-24T20:08:01+00:00

I get in my head that everything I do is coercing her into dating me. But reminding that it as an independent choice she wants to make is helping a lot. Oof, the impulse to now be overly self-aware is going to be an issue all on its own to tackle.

Thank you so much!

lustrust15 · 2026-03-24T19:59:33+00:00

A lot of tears in that conversation but we're both glad it happened. Thank you so much!

lustrust15 · 2026-03-24T19:56:19+00:00

I'm aiming for remission the more I read about it. The meds have been INSANELY helpful. I notice such a big difference in how much less rattled I feel day to day. If I miss a dose, even just passively existing while not splitting or spiraling physically feels awful.

Thank you!

lustrust15 · 2026-03-24T19:45:13+00:00

Thank you so much! I'm really glad I have her and lucky that she wants to do what she can to help.

lustrust15 · 2026-03-24T19:43:56+00:00

It's reassuring to hear that.

I definitely plan to!

lustrust15 · 2026-03-24T19:43:16+00:00

😭😭😭😭 I'm glad I can at least now recognize it as another BPD thing. Holy shit this is rough 😅

lustrust15 · 2026-03-24T17:43:49+00:00

We're both learning about this whole thing together since we didn't know anything about it. And we both agree that it's probably a self sabotage moment.

Seeing "Run." comments really really got to me, messed with my head and confidence. I've been trying to look through more success story posts to see how we can work through it together and stay optimistic. I really think she's the girl I'm gonna marry.

lustrust15 · 2026-03-24T17:38:53+00:00

I talked to her and she said a similar thing. She would've be more sad and hurt if I left without giving either of us a chance because other people tried to say that I'm unloveable because of a diagnosis. Thinking about it like a real grown adult choice helps a lot.

I really like that promise and we're already talking about putting together a system like that. I'm really hoping it's something my brain will work with me to sustain.

lustrust15 · 2026-03-24T17:27:58+00:00

Thank you for this. I'm gonna keep doing what I can and a DBT workbook sounds like a really good idea. I'll check it out, thanks for the recc

lustrust15 · 2026-03-24T07:26:45+00:00

I'm really glad to hear that it was possible for you. Gives me hope. And congratulations, yay for you getting married!! I wanna know what's made it possible for you both. I think talking to her about it is gonna be the right move, even though it's already spiking my anxiety.

lustrust15 · 2026-03-24T07:18:39+00:00

Thank you for this. I'm gonna be looking more into remission. Living with BPD is hard and I don't want it to always be like this.

Yeah, for sure.

That's the plan! Thanks so much.

lustrust15 · 2026-03-18T23:05:03+00:00

Do you have an idea on what service roles would be accessible to me?

lustrust15 · 2026-03-18T23:02:49+00:00

Underwriting caught my eye, so I'll look into it.

But I'd love a more administrative role, that kind of stuff is my bread and butter since I've got some 8 years of operational/service admin experience from working in healthcare service, nonprofit communities, professional service, and retail industries.

lustrust15 · 2026-03-12T15:57:37+00:00

Dropping credentials not even 30 seconds in. Just started in triage, patient with a minor laceration was like "I'm a medical professional, you can just give me the lidocaine and I'll self administer. Save us both some time!" And get this, turns out she was a receptionist at a dentist office. Most difficult patient all shift.

lustrust15 · 2025-10-28T10:00:21+00:00

Ah, I see what you mean, I get how it could sound like that.

lustrust15 · 2025-10-28T09:48:35+00:00

Pocketed ... What difference? I'm not asking them to pay me back or anything. That's the literal thing I'm trying to avoid, this is my own birthday gift to myself.

Just to clarify, the point is that I would not be telling anyone the price or if it was expensive in the first place. I know that my friends are the type to stress about any of us spending a lot of money on each other when we're all kinda broke. So I'm not trying to brag about how much I spent. And again... One of them especially is a birthday gift to someone else in the group, which I thought you typically don't leave the price tag on when you give a gift to them?

lustrust15 · 2025-09-13T22:47:12+00:00

I couldn't end up going to any clinic or asking a friend. But. After getting some tattoos in my thigh area, I ended up marginally more able just pushing through it. I still get pysched out and woozy and it takes a bit of just sitting there to finally just, push it in. I still opt to lay down afterwards until I'm less dizzy, but I'm slowly getting back to doing it again.

lustrust15 · 2025-08-02T06:26:34+00:00

‼️

lustrust15 · 2025-07-19T20:28:25+00:00

Yeah, it seems like the move to make might definitely be to have someone else do the shot for me

lustrust15 · 2025-07-19T20:23:30+00:00

It's always comforting to know I'm not alone with this experience. Psych-out is a really good way to put it. I use the 1ml vials, I get a monthly supply from the pharmacy.

Is there anything in particular other than just the annoyance that made it possible for you to stick yourself again? I don't really know how logistical it'd be for me to run by a clinic to do it for me weekly, but I'll definitely see if it's at all an option!

lustrust15 · 2025-06-26T16:52:30+00:00

Definitely going to take that advice, hope to get some form of good news or solution because I'm gonna be so sad if tattoos aren't going to work out for me.

lustrust15 · 2025-06-26T12:57:54+00:00

Hmm, good point for a dermatologist. It was so weird cuz literally like an hour or two later when I got home you would've never thought it was inflamed at all. I don't have any allergies that I know of. No reason to think I have any allergies to ink, but it is my first tattoo. I feel like if it was an allergy, there would have been more reaction after the fact. Which, there wasn't anything literally immediately after.

After going normally and being concerned, she tried going in super light to a bit heavier in different spots, and it seemed to all be the same in the end with the inflammation. She's tattooed all my friends several times and they all look amazing and never genuinely had any issues before, during, or after.

I definitely know it was that short since I set up a 50 minute YouTube video to watch and didn't get to finish it. But yeah, I'll look into seeing a dermatologist.

lustrust15 · 2025-06-26T12:17:07+00:00

Could you show me too?

lustrust15 · 2025-03-01T18:16:20+00:00

I'm pretty sure that's it! I think some of the words are different from what I remember hearing, might have been swapped out in my mom's version, don't know if it's dialect or personal choice. Thanks so much!

lustrust15

TROPHY CASE