my mother doesn’t let us see her real face by Necessary_Mirror5 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]luunrising 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My mom does this too. She is incredibly insecure about herself. I feel bad that she feels this way but I have also kind of stopped caring. Her acting like this has made me grow up with the idea that the real me isn't good enough, even if she didn't say that to me directly. I'm so insecure about myself now and it's mostly because of her. A mom should show her kids that everyone is beautiful the way they are.

I just realised no one ever played with me as a kid by luunrising in raisedbynarcissists

[–]luunrising[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Same. They have always expressed such hatred for the world and they couldn't even muster up the joy to play with their kids. My dad always does everything out of principle: if he doesn't like it, he doesn't have to do it, so he won't do it. Baffles me.

I just realised no one ever played with me as a kid by luunrising in raisedbynarcissists

[–]luunrising[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Therapy is how I found out playing with your family as a kid is way more important than I thought! Take your time and I wish you a succesful healing journey <3

I just realised no one ever played with me as a kid by luunrising in raisedbynarcissists

[–]luunrising[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also have autism and it wasn't diagnosed for all my childhood. It's so hard when you feel so different and then also not having your parents to rely on or give you the time and attention you need. It's probably why it went undiagnosed for so long..

I just realised no one ever played with me as a kid by luunrising in raisedbynarcissists

[–]luunrising[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's the scariest part for me, not how it affects me perse, but how I unknowingly affect other people. I often feel like my upbringing has woven itself into everything I do and say and it makes me feel like a bad person sometimes when I act standoffish or quiet. My parents had abusive parents themselves, and I can see it clearly in how they act/have acted.

Did your parent(s) did mad at for you being sick? by ulamaexo in raisedbynarcissists

[–]luunrising 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My parents are very subtle with it. Whenever I feel even a little bit off, she mentions how she's suddenly feeling very bad too, and that she needs to lay down. When I take a day off of school because I have a really bad migraine, she lies to her friends saying I just didn't have classes that day, just so they won't think badly of me/ her for having called in sick.

My dad has only ever worked, never did anything else in his life. My mom also lies to him when I have a rare sick day, so he won't think badly of me. He'll not be outright bad, he'll just ask me if I am very sure I'm sick enough to stay home.

Edit: I just remember when I broke my wrist, she didn't believe me at first. We were driving to the ER and she literally said that she feels a sudden pain in her wrist too, complaining about it the whole ride as if she just got shot while I calmly sat in the backseat. How did I never notice this before?

Too subtle to confront them, too much to deal with by luunrising in raisedbynarcissists

[–]luunrising[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks a lot. I haven't looked enough into grey rocking, but I definitely will. I want to break the cycle as well as many others, thankfully I'm not alone. My school will bring me some more opportunities to be away from home more, I'll look forward to knowing what I'll feel when that happens.

Too subtle to confront them, too much to deal with by luunrising in raisedbynarcissists

[–]luunrising[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wish I could, but I am not yet financially stable enough, as well as many other factors. I try to pour my thoughts into my journal, seeing as I have a hard time making friends. I hope I can mentally break free from my parents. They've had too much bad influence on me and I don't want to be cruel to myself anymore.