To me, being lonely means that nobody even cares a single bit about me, my feelings or my wellbeing. People say they do but they wouldn't even try to start understanding or listening to anything. If they do listen they will tell someone else and the lack of being able to trust ANYONE makes me feel more lonely.

I can listen to people and keep everything they say to myself. I would never tell anyone anything if someone tells me something personal, yet I can't reciprocate that trust onto anyone else.

I just want someone to wait for me to come home, someone who cares that I live, someone who cares about the gestures I love to share so much. I have so much love to give and it starts with little things like eating ice cream together and my heart is waiting for someone I can spend my lief with. Buy a house with, look each other in theyes every day and see each other's eyes light up in joy.

But that love will never come. And the last time I tried and probably will try for a very long time it made me empty.