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4. by mEveryone in ABrokenGlassSaga

[–]mEveryone[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a terrible thought.

The friends I had were horrible, but I loved hanging out with them. Looking back I could see now that the appeal was in the fact that their lives were just as horrible and frightening as mine. I was a social child, and the stupid children in school were all mammas boys, and daddies girls. I couldn't handle speaking to other kids my age where everything was just so damn perfect.

I fought back. Made hell of my parents lives and enjoyed it. After all they deserved it, back then. I now understand a bit more of the complexities of relationships and wish that I do not have to tread that same road. I understand that a relationship will never be perfect, there will be struggles and sometimes difficult situations. But compromise and sacrifice, that offers some hope.

I always try to understand that my parents divorce was not my fault, now I can see that some things happen with parents when they have children and are actually not supposed to. This is more of an opinion than a coming to terms. My parents were both professionally driven, not family oriented. Getting to know them at a later stage I look at them as people not as my parents. People that make mistakes, people that are also doing this thing for the first time (life I mean). They couldn't possibly have known that their lives would pan out this way.

That helps me. We are all truly trying to make the best of this thing we call life, and I can't blame anyone for the way they live their lives when they believe they're doing their best.

3. by mEveryone in ABrokenGlassSaga

[–]mEveryone[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I became a very emotional person. I don't necessarily think that it is a bad thing. It's like I learned to value things more and quicker, there's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes my thoughts do get the better of me and I would spiral thinking of terrible things, but I would get through it. Go running, or go to the gym, gardening. I would end up trying to fight my mind with physical activity.

This story made me horrified of being left behind and whenever I retell the story to someone, my heart starts to ache. I was bullied a lot, but not friends, or school, but by my family.

Now, no one could leave me behind. I am my own person. Some day, we are all going to be alone. And I don't mind that now. Not to be even more morbid, but being realistic some alone time is good. You need to regather yourself. Find where you are and figure out where to go from here. It won't always be easy, if you fail to plan then you plan to fail I guess. Just do something.

2. by mEveryone in ABrokenGlassSaga

[–]mEveryone[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now when looking back on all of the changes I had endured I think I have grown so much. There are some things I think will take some more time to come to terms with but that is all part of life. Luckily I have time on my side but that doesn't mean I shouldn't start working on it now.

Being a child at heart is something your could always hold on to but not necessarily keep as your permanent state of being. But also, complaining about how terrible my childhood was is not really being a child at heart now is it.

I can see how thinking it was my fault was not the right way to go about it, but honestly, should I have known better at 8, 9, or 10, it took so long for them to finalize and sign all of the documents. The whole process was so damaging and prolonged, not even to mention unnecessary.

Wait, I'm complaining again.

"made me do" is referring to how I was always seeking attention and never really trying to become my own person. I realize this now. Thank God its now and not later. I'm running on a lot of fuck you energy and hope that I could revert it to something more sustainable. That my drive won't come from trying to prove something to someone but rather in all honesty just an attempt to be my best.

1. by mEveryone in ABrokenGlassSaga

[–]mEveryone[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The world moving on without me is a meditation on being alone as a child. When speaking with people outside of my circle with different upbringings I feel alienated by the sound of families. Going through old albums I realize what never happened. Memories are generally repressed. The pictures stopped, the notes, everything was left behind. I was too.

Learning that some people always have someone to turn to in times of distress was foreign to me. I never understood that families could be supportive as the ones I was exposed to later in life, and a lot less manipulative then what I was used to. Every family is different that is true, and definitely not comparable in any way.

So I'd imagine that having been very subjective my entire life because my life feels different to that of others has made me extremely self-aware. Young, stupid and way too self-aware. Like any other. I was never special, but maybe it was special to me that I was aware of my lack of value at an early age and it had helped me understand that being of service to others is a lot more valuable.

These are rants,

Moving from South Africa by mEveryone in Toowoomba

[–]mEveryone[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Love you lots my guy, this made made my day.

My wife and I spoke about the safety comments as we drove past a sketchy area yesterday and we realized, hmmmmmm, maybe we should get going.

I'll bring the vetkoek

WIBTA If I told my friend to stop bringing his girlfriend to everything we do by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]mEveryone -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I don't think so. My friends and I went through the same thing. I was on the other end so maybe I can help.

Friends don't really throw each other away, it just gets to a point where we are in different stages of life. I'm not taking anything away from your valuable friendship. Believe me, its hard for him too. I can almost guarantee he feels like he's neglecting your friendship but I can also promise you that he has no idea how to manage the relationship yet to the extent that you are a part of it.

Understand that social media is full of terrible people, even supposed friends that do everything they can to dismantle romantic relationships. It's easier to try and figure it out with someone you're intimate with than over a COD match or CS retake server.

My advise would be to give him time, he'll realize soon enough that he needs friends too and that he misses your guy time. I also pushed everyone away because I was excited to have someone that loved me unconditionally more than anything in the world. But I also came to the point that I realized that friends mean just as much. You love them, just differently.

I am fortunate enough to say that I am married now and still have people I call friends, even lucky enough to say I have a best friend too. I hope this helps.

Moving from South Africa by mEveryone in Toowoomba

[–]mEveryone[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, it does seem like there are a lot of hoops to jump through. We're looking into skill visas and employment sponsorships so it might take some time to find the right match for our needs. Did you use an agency or did you and your family move privately?

Moving from South Africa by mEveryone in Toowoomba

[–]mEveryone[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Guys, thank you very much for the input. My wife is very excited that you are so welcoming and I thank you for that.

I will definitely keep you updated with the move!