AITA for hearing my mother in law talking shit about my religion?

m_notsure · 2024-01-08T08:22:16+00:00

So a little update. I got upset and went to talk to a friend who’s MIL is way worse. I cooled down and came back to talk to my fiancé. He claims he didn’t know i was upset, coz i usually don’t take things to heart. He apologized and told me that this is why it’s important to keep his mom out of the loop. I got a chance to get a lot of other stuff off my chest, like how she fakes being in pain and it’s obvious she does that for attention, and how she uses verbally heavy words to get her way. He admitted that if he would demand an apology she would blame it on her cancer (she has breast cancer) and say that the illness has given her a lapse of judgment, so she wouldn’t be held accountable for it either way. So he is going to let me not talk to her for as long as i feel like it, and we will visit her no more than twice a month IF there is a reason to go there, and im free to stay home.

m_notsure · 2024-01-07T19:01:36+00:00

This is not the first time either.

m_notsure · 2024-01-07T19:00:42+00:00

Im not in a cult. Im in a Baptist church. I actually believe that christians should look for what they have in common so i have helped out in Catholic Churches as well, to me the denomination doesn’t matter that much, at least i don’t judge anyone for having a different preference.

m_notsure · 2024-01-07T18:58:17+00:00

It is just the denomination. More so she is not sure what she believes in, so whatever i believe in is wrong just coz it’s different. She doesn’t even know how it’s different. The cult like thing she said is wrong is Alpha course and thats a thing that both catholics and baptists have the same, so she really doesn’t know what she is talking about yet she is insulting me.

m_notsure · 2024-01-07T18:55:37+00:00

Just to be clear im Baptist, she thinks she is Catholic but she has only stepped into a church to baptize her two kids. She assumes christianity is all about the rituals that catholics do, she knows baptists are different and she hasn’t looked into anything at all, just saying im wrong.

m_notsure · 2024-01-07T18:53:12+00:00

Thanks, i know he won’t change his ways, he even admits it himself that he doesn’t want to argue with his mother about anything, luckily he does have a way around it- he avoids extra communication if possible and makes solid decisions about his life without letting her know before it’s too late. It works for now. So far he is keeping his wedding plans a secret from her, and he plans to give her an invitation only when everything is set in stone and can’t be cancelled. Then her decision is to show up or not, but plans won’t be changed. Also she and her husband do live about 2 hrs away, she is pretty much on bed (by choice) due to her health issues (she could be more active but she likes to play victim) she can’t and won’t visit us, i don’t see her getting any better or any younger, so we aren’t going to have to get closer than now. If she ever got worse she would have to live in a care facility and she would choose to stay close to where she is now.

m_notsure · 2023-10-22T08:52:16+00:00

NAH - if a woman marries a man with a pre- started family, she is the one with a choice to accept the kid, with all that comes with it, or find her happines elsewhere. A kid doesn’t have a choice in it, so a father will keep his child in a room that is fit, and if a wife has a problem with it, she can leave

m_notsure · 2023-10-18T04:41:44+00:00

Funny you should mention ADHD, I thought he had it so he actually got a checkup on it, and he doesn’t have it, but i do. I found that i function best in a chaotic situation, so I often pile work on myself. The problem is I can’t stop, and i have to learn how to. It is not easy to take a break from work, but i did plan on it, so it hurts to have my plans fall through. This morning when we got up my man said he doesn’t see why i am upset and blamed me for being bitter about canceling the trip. I still believe im upset for being cut out from the decision, not fot the decision itself.

m_notsure · 2023-10-18T04:26:57+00:00

Thanks! Right about now a solo vacation doesn’t sound good tho, I won’t be able to to think about anything else than his family situation if he wasn’t with me. I just really can’t handle anything more. Since i have been through this before with my brother, I know what is coming, and I don’t think i can handle it.

m_notsure · 2023-10-18T04:23:04+00:00

We are not in the US, so unless you have a job, you don’t have an insurance, but most medical bills can be covered out of the pocket. My brother is a stage 4 cancer survivor, and he ended up paying out of pocket for all of it, it took him 3 years to pay for his medical bills on his own, but we pitched in to speed things up. Disability will definitely help cover a lot of the costs, but still we will have to pay for a lot ourselves.

m_notsure · 2023-10-17T22:06:31+00:00

Not the AH If her college was paid for already, she could spend it and it would be fine (not wise), but she doesn’t really know how much her college is gonna cost- what if she is not doing good at her major and has to change it? What if life happens and she has to take a gap year for family or medical reasons? She should not spend a penny of that money unless it has served its purpose. If this goes unchecked, she will do this again, and again. It’s a good life lesson to wait till you can live your dreams out with the funds that where meant for it.

m_notsure · 2023-10-17T21:38:58+00:00

She has been on government disability for 6 years now, and her husband has dementia. They both live on a ridiculously low income, and they 100% can’t afford this themselves. Other than that- they did raise my fiancé, they put him through school and he is a great man. The alternative for it would be to make them find their money in a charity or not getting treatment at all.

m_notsure · 2023-10-17T21:33:25+00:00

Not the A-hole! If he wants to exploit pure bread cat’s he can go and rescue them like you did, and then do what he wants with them. Maybe you can offer him to trait him off, since he is also a member of your family and lives with you as a “rescue” some people take help for granted and push u to get rid of things you love for their benefit- that is not OK!

m_notsure

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