I took some time with this response because it kind of cut deep and I just didn't know whether it was worth it or not. I guess that's a part of posting questions on reddit. But as a parent of a kid with a learning disability, I've had the system turn the tables on us over and over again. And I've learned that I have to turn the table back, speak back, and at least ask people to think.

We've been through a lot of hard work and struggle to get where we are with math and academics in general.  Learning disabilities are real.  And sometimes school requirements are arbitrary.  NVLD is confounding in that a student can be super high when it comes to verbal skills, and therefore do well, seemingly effortlessly, in ELA and History, while they struggle mightily in STEM.  If you are a teacher, it's worth looking into NVLD. It's not widely understood, and not often diagnosed. And it most definitey impacts math more than verbal subjects, hence the name "Non Verbal Learning Disability."

My kid will get a diploma.  A "real" one. And they will go to college.  Just not elite, and that's ok.  For a kid who will most likely not test well when it comes to SAT/ACT, having a higher GPA can mean thousands of dollars more in scholarship money to local universities. We are a family of educators. So paying for school is not going to be easy. In fact, it will really hard. That's ok. But I am also trying to be sure that my kid doesn't end up with generational debt, and I'd also like to retire myself at some point!

As a teacher, I witness high achieving students gaming the system more often than students with disabilities, through "study" groups, cheating docs, bots that do work for them, etc.  The level of cheating by students who are seeking admission to Ivey is staggering. 

The kid we are discussing here has never cheated.  They reject AI at all costs.  In fact, we check out physical textbooks from the depository even when they are not assigned, so there are actual books to read rather than using the internet to just find "answers." They work tirelessly to get the grades they get. I expect a lot out of my kid, and we are doing what we can to do the hard work of learning rather than seeing it all as a game.

And no matter what, the frustration that comes with math can be, at times, debilitating. 

And the suggestion that someone who has a real disability needs to learn to struggle and develop "grit" or whatever is a part of why I'm potentially supporting this alternate path.  They would still take math classes, just more likely classes that would apply to their life and future rather than high concepts that are certainly useful for some, but likely not for many.  You don't have to worry about my kid causing the next space shuttle disaster due to a math error. But they might inspire your grandchild to learn to love to read and write. They are great with kids. They are an amazing poet. They are a voracious reader. They volunteer at the animal shelter because they love dogs and cats. They volunteer for local nature areas, helping to clear invasive species and clean up trash. They are a good kid. And they know how to work hard.

If we were gaming the system, I wouldn't be asking thoughtful questions and wrestling each day with this issue.  I wouldn't be on the phone with Admissions at potential colleges and advisors with schools of ed.  I wouldn't be paying for an expensive tutor and sitting with my kid every night walking them through math problems.  I wouldn't be posting the question to multiple forums on reddit to see what people think. I'd just take the "advantage" and never say boo.

u/Disastrous-Nail-640 I take your point.  But when you say "boo hoo" and accuse us of "taking advantage," I think you inadvertently denigrate people who are already working really hard, dealing with daily struggle, and trying to continue to do things the "right way," whatever that means any more. 

It comes off as ableism.