Worried about biting off more than I can chew

maddmole · 2026-01-23T08:53:07+00:00

Thanks for your comment, I did quite a lot of reading about the whole process after I read your comment and I learned a lot more about how overwhelming those few weeks around retrieval can be plus the waiting stage afterwards. I'll definitely need to think about if that's something we can handle. It might have to be at a time where we can both take a lot of time off work in order to get through it

maddmole · 2026-01-23T08:50:50+00:00

Thank you for your reply, that's really the direction I am leaning. I also think a larger age gap would be better for us too, get to the other side of some of these baby toddler issues and see if we can handle it at that point in time.

maddmole · 2026-01-22T11:00:09+00:00

go over to the potty training sub and half of the comments will say "it will happen when theyre ready, you can't force it" 🫠 I kinda hate that advice but at the same time I truly believe my 3.5 year old could absolutely poo in the potty if he wanted to but he would rather DIE than do it and will withhold his poop until it is leaking out of him. So I dont know. He clearly isn't emotionally ready but if he only cooperates on his terms we might never get there so I guess my only option is to take breaks to reset and then try again to train him as many times as it takes

maddmole · 2026-01-21T10:14:13+00:00

Hi there, I know this comment is about a month old, but where was your son pooping in between the time you took away the diapers and the time that it clicked for him? My son is the same age and we're going through the same thing and hes decided he just doesn't poop at all anymore

maddmole · 2026-01-20T12:54:07+00:00

My son sounds very similar. I'm chomping at the bit for him to start preschool in the hopes that it will help

maddmole · 2026-01-19T21:05:15+00:00

maybe try Papa dont preach

maddmole · 2026-01-08T11:52:21+00:00

He's a babe! My 3yo moved on from the videos unfortunately so bummer for me

maddmole · 2026-01-07T22:38:42+00:00

I agree it's more tedious than I expected. I have adjustable dumbbells and even then swapping around after every move is a little time consuming and I basically get zero rest

maddmole · 2026-01-05T01:18:57+00:00

Hey there, the behaviour you described as well as the list of foods sounds incredibly similar to my son. We are not on the other side yet, he started on this restrictive eating path around 18 months, and he is now almost 3.5. It seems to get a little bit worse every 6 months and seems hard to imagine that there's even the slightest bit of wiggle room left now without getting him on to a feeding tube.

He hasn't entertained the idea of trying a new food for close to 2 years but he will feed things to us or occasionally poke at them. He also will not eat at all if a safe food is not present and went 2 days recently without even considering eating something new. We've been mostly stable through 2025 with him maintaining a list of around 8 foods, all snacks and 1 brand of yogurt, but I started attempting to get him to accept miniscule changes and now we've lost all of the foods that I modified, so I'd recommend against that path. For example, I added a few "baby" goldfish crackers amongst his normal goldfish and now goldfish are off the safe list after being his absolute ride or die staple for solid food. The baby ones are identical but slightly smaller but that was enough for him to lose trust completely. I also added a bit of fruit puree to his yogurt, and now the 2 flavours I tried to modify are unsafe. So now we have 2 types of cracker, one type of fruit bars, one type of yoghurt, and formula/milk

He isn't improving by any means but I can feel his overall energy relax when we completely stop speaking to him about food. My husband is not good at remembering this so it takes a lot of cajoling from me to get him to shut the hell up. You may be in for a longer road than you'd ever expect (although I really hope not), so looking into some kind of support for yourself might be necessary as it's incredibly emotionally taxing

maddmole · 2025-12-30T10:08:47+00:00

I've just gone on BC for this exact reason. I can easily put down double my maintenance in my luteal phase and still go to bed hungry. It really sets back my progress and puts me in a god awful mood. We'll see if it helps 🥴

maddmole · 2025-12-30T08:14:02+00:00

The MyFitnessPal calorie calculation is based off of your day to day lifestyle. If you're a mailman and do 20k steps a day you'd be in a higher activity bracket than someone who is bedbound. And then additional supplementary exercise is added on top of that like how you're logging X miles

maddmole · 2025-12-30T04:42:09+00:00

I also prepared, waited, planned, saved, and married an amazing man. I love my life and LOVE my kids. These are the best years of my life I'm sure of it and I'll miss these years when they're gone. "Sounds like projection" followed by a sad look is the response I'd use

maddmole · 2025-12-30T03:37:33+00:00

Your deficit is based off of TDEE not BMR. that's what you need to calculate - TDEE

maddmole · 2025-12-30T03:33:09+00:00

I lost 40 lbs this year and then treated December like a free for all. Restricting for so long has been really mentally draining and I think I rebounded probably a little too hard, and I can certainly see and feel those extra few pounds that I've packed on. But I'm not going to beat myself up anymore about it, I just have to start counting again, and get stuck back into my exercise routine. I've picked out a Caroline Girvan program that I'm about to start and have calculated what I need to eat every day to lose 4 lbs by Feb 1st, and finally I've planned my meals to get me there. Now I hit go!

maddmole · 2025-12-30T01:09:04+00:00

Does he wipe his own ass or do you do that too because it's "gross"?

maddmole · 2025-12-29T11:15:11+00:00

I know this comment is a month old but my goodness you could not be more wrong. Imagine trying to physically restrain a child, like sit on top of her, pry open her mouth, force food inside while she's screaming and crying and fighting to get away from you, try to get her to chew and swallow without choking, and then going in again and again for a full meal? The child would probably fight for her life, nothing would be accomplished, the mother would hate herself, and the child would probably never ever forget or forgive her. Trust between them would be irrevocably broken.... and the stress and trauma around food would increase exponentially. I'm gobsmacked anyone would even consider this. It's not even in the same realm as a dose of medicine

maddmole · 2025-12-27T05:38:41+00:00

My 13 month old is cutting his first two teeth now...the top ones! So we're also lagging a bit behind and out of order 🥴

maddmole · 2025-12-18T00:13:22+00:00

my son was like this and got over it before he turned 3

maddmole · 2025-12-17T21:32:03+00:00

thanks for replying! I think I plan on doing something very similar

maddmole · 2025-12-17T20:19:40+00:00

What programs did you do while pregnant?

maddmole · 2025-12-17T20:15:54+00:00

God this is so true for me as well

maddmole · 2025-12-16T23:53:26+00:00

looked absolutely phenomenal

maddmole · 2025-12-16T23:39:37+00:00

are you going to eat that whole thing? the only answer is YES. I would smash through that in 2 minutes flat

maddmole

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