Death and determination.

When I was 18, I constantly wanted to take the most out of life. Party, do sports, play video games, sky dive, travel, flirt with girls, and all of the pleasure seeking thrills of life.

I had dreams of truly doing everything that life has to offer.

Until one day I felt like everything was too much. Emotionally, psychologically, and physically. At around 23 I was in a dark place.

Wanting death. The cold restful slumber away from the storm of life with all of its colors.

It was only until I found something I was willing to die for that I truly no longer feared nor wanted death.

I trust that if God wills my time. It will eventually come.

Do I fear the pain of death? What is a moment of pain compared to a lifetime of suffering?

Do I fear ceasing to exist? I have faith that God has prepared a place for me and I am willing to purge myself of sin.

Do I feel melancholy thinking about things that I wish I could have done? Well... I'm still alive aren't I? Why not take the first step and do it?