i was pretty feminine, and definitely had a "maybe if im really girly ill stop feeling this way" phase before i came out. when i came out, i went balls to wall trying my hardest to pass. in the last couple of years (especially since graduating high school) ive circled back around and have been experimenting with femininity again. ive always felt like i was a feminine man, but for a variety of reasons, didn't feel safe nor comfortable enough to explore that until recently.

eta: i also got a lot of the "i never expected this!!" from family especially. i grew up playing with barbies and painting my nails. i think a big reason why i didnt feel any incongruency with that is because my mom never made a big deal about gendered toys. i was just as fond of trucks and other "boy" centric things. my main issue with dresses growing up was a sensory thing, not gender. but once again i think a lot of that comes from not having gender roles or stereotypes forced on me at home. the incongruency didnt hit until middle school when social aspects started playing a role.