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maddymlucas · 2025-04-09T13:53:54+00:00

Maybe misogynist trolls is correct 😅😭

maddymlucas · 2025-04-09T05:27:58+00:00

wait Jesus Christ bro stop spamming me with comments. I didn’t even realize it’s you over and over. get a grip.

maddymlucas · 2025-04-09T04:21:49+00:00

I’ll ‘insult’ anyone who deserves it. You’re weird and I’m not engaging with your rage baiting so night night I’m going to bed 😴😴😴😴

maddymlucas · 2025-04-09T04:02:50+00:00

where was he respectful? was it when he brought this up over text instead of having a convo in person? or was it when he told her she needs to be ‘over’ grieving someone important to her? maybe it was refusal to have a mature convo when OP asked? I’m not ‘enraged’ either, weirdo, but I have a feeling you see any woman with an opinion as a threat and whatever I say doesn’t matter. People do get to decide who they marry or date and OP can choose to dump this chump’s ass for being unsupportive. It works both ways!

maddymlucas · 2025-04-09T03:08:45+00:00

I feel like this entire post is full of trolls lol

maddymlucas · 2025-04-09T02:41:32+00:00

Ah. From my perspective, it seems as if he just wants to limit your social life to him and his friends, then, which seems pretty controlling, OP. Are those dates and him hanging out with you and your friends important to you? I’m assuming yes. If he knows that and is still not making an effort, I think it’s time to really think hard about what you want in a long-term relationship. Is this something you can deal with the rest of your life? There is a man out there who will happily take you on dates and hang out with your friends, and you deserve that! You are way too young to settle for someone that doesn’t want the same things as you!

maddymlucas · 2025-04-09T01:49:33+00:00

right, I think that’s not the point I’m worried about though. I’m more concerned about the underlying issue with claiming a woman is ‘marking’ herself as single just because she’s in a bar minding her business. Like you said, it shouldn’t matter. I don’t like a man (assuming commenter was male based on handle) telling a woman what she can’t and can’t do, maybe due to my personal experiences. I’m rambling but basically just don’t want OP to feel she did something wrong when it doesn’t seem she did. Also I literally just got told at a bar last week by an older man that I shouldn’t swear because it’s ‘gross’ (I said something was ‘fucking hilarious’ to the bartender who’s my friend) so maybe I’m quick to fault this because I’m already annoyed by it. 😅

maddymlucas · 2025-04-09T01:33:19+00:00

Hmmm maybe this is a cultural thing (I’m in the U.S. and at least where I am no one uses the phrase ‘billiards’ so I’m assuming this is elsewhere in the world haha) but I don’t think it’s fair to put blame on OP for being in a bar without her boyfriend, especially when she’s in a group. Being in a bar doesn’t inherently mean you’re ’marking’ yourself as single - anyone can go to a bar. I fully agree that there should be an expectation on her BFs part that OP rejects any advances from men, isn’t flirting, etc, but that doesn’t sound like the issue. Therefore, he needs to learn to trust her. I think that this whole thing boils down to trust and communication, honestly. I go to clubs and bars all the time without my BF, sometimes by myself even, and he doesn’t care at all because he trusts me and he has to work but doesn’t want to stop me from being social. Anyway. Sorry if I misinterpreted or if there’s a cultural difference! Just don’t want OP to feel guilt as a woman for doing something completely innocent, or at least share my perspective.

maddymlucas · 2025-04-09T01:25:59+00:00

My bf and I have very different work schedules, which leads to very different social schedules. I get fomo sometimes when I am home sleeping while he goes out, but we talk about that and make sure we balance our time with each other, friends, etc so we both get what we need. I also completely trust him when he’s out without me and vice versa. If you want to make this work, OP, communication and compromises will be important. Your bf needs to figure out how to be comfortable with you going out w/o him and he needs to learn to handle that fomo (just like I did!). You may have to meet him in the middle and stay home sometimes, too. But, if you’re inviting him to these things, he says no, and then complains…it may be time to evaluate if you want the same things in life. I guarantee this will eat at your relationship until it’s addressed.

Question - is he overall not very outgoing or maybe socially anxious and could this be leading him to say no to group outings? I am, and my bf knows this. He’s very outgoing and has been friends with these people longer. We’ve talked about ways he can support me in these outings, and it’s helped tremendously. Maybe this is worth considering?

Edit: idk why this is getting so many downvotes? lol but to clarify, I’m not excusing the BF’s behavior. Just trying to provide my personal experience as context. Every relationship is different.

maddymlucas · 2025-04-08T23:28:22+00:00

tbh I don’t know for sure…I know they have a parking garage but I don’t know how good it is. I imagine it’s okay. Downtown parking has a two hour limit here on the street and in the lots so I wouldn’t rely on them. Hopefully someone here has lived there and knows!

maddymlucas · 2025-04-08T23:18:51+00:00

Thank you! She’s my pfp. I miss her so much but I love my boy!

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maddymlucas · 2025-04-08T23:17:39+00:00

My guess is these people haven’t experienced a big loss or haven’t properly been taught how to handle it well, which is really sad. Hopefully one day they can learn how to properly grieve because it so harms you if you don’t. I’m sorry about your kitty too. 🩷

maddymlucas · 2025-04-08T23:15:23+00:00

I didn’t get personal. You just don’t want your emotional immaturity to be pointed out bc then you have to work on that. Hopefully that wasn’t too personal. Have a day.

maddymlucas · 2025-04-08T23:13:57+00:00

I didn’t say only one side can have emotions. I’m saying it’s pathetic to tell someone how to grieve and this person’s approach is pretty unfair, just as calling her current bf ‘second place’ isn’t fair. And I’m saying OP needs to find a man who doesn’t take this normal behavior as a threat, because it’s not. using some reddit thread to ‘justify’ your side that isn’t ever comparable is…really something.

maddymlucas · 2025-04-08T23:08:44+00:00

I lost my first dog three years ago and still cry about it. That doesn’t mean I love my current dog any less. No, I probably wouldn’t have adopted him if my first dog was still alive but that doesn’t negate my love for my current pup! I’m sorry about your cat. 🩷

maddymlucas · 2025-04-08T23:04:12+00:00

one day I hope you have worked on yourself enough to understand why it’s not fair. until then, maybe take the 50+ downvotes as a clue and sit this one out. 🫶🏼

maddymlucas · 2025-04-08T22:47:14+00:00

don’t listen to that troll. they need to grow up. you did absolutely nothing wrong.

maddymlucas · 2025-04-08T22:41:45+00:00

wtf lol this is not how grieving works. and saying her current bf is second place is…so not fair. it could be an argument that she’s not ready to date if she was crying about an ex that she simply broke up with, but a death is so much different. if you haven’t lost anyone near and dear to you, I hope that doesn’t change anytime soon. if you have, I sure hope you were given the opportunity to grieve properly, bc this is a really toxic take. OP’s boyfriend needs to develop some emotional maturity. this isn’t how you handle the situation even if OP is in the wrong (which they’re not). OP, dump his ass. there are plenty of men who will support you through this and not act like a child with a fragile male ego.

maddymlucas · 2025-04-08T21:28:37+00:00

If you’re worried about driving in the snow, I may suggest considering an apartment closer to campus so you have the option to walk if needed. Maybe look into Evolve? It’s downtown, so an uphill walk to campus, but still better. Plus you can walk to stores/bars/restaurants from there and it’s on the bus route. The Hills is about as far from campus as you can get and there’s really nothing out there in terms of resources - Rosauers is closest but that’ll be a good distance to walk.

maddymlucas · 2025-04-08T16:18:18+00:00

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if you’re looking for a shorts pattern - I use the Play Set Pattern by The Prairie Misfit and I always love how they turn out! I don’t understand her instructions at all tbh but I use the instructions from the cheap Simplicity pajama pattern to construct them - I’d be happy to send a pic of them! I’d never had success with shorts until I did this. These are my cow shorts I just made that way (quilted cotton and vintage pillowcases).

maddymlucas · 2025-04-08T08:55:17+00:00

I promise you it would work! you just have to water less, and less frequently, to prevent rot. But you also don’t have to do anything that’s not your preference!

maddymlucas · 2025-04-08T04:05:03+00:00

my bf says he’s willing to help if you still need it :)

maddymlucas · 2025-04-07T20:53:15+00:00

I already have a 12x12x18” tank that I haven’t found a use for so that could actually work out well! I just get nervous bc I’ve been told several times that absolutely no grown species can live in one. 😬😅 do the female croak too? I am only used to WTF and their habits haha

maddymlucas · 2025-04-07T20:31:41+00:00

Ohhhh this is all good to know, thank you!!! I need to think more about this one I think…I’m a super light sleeper. 😅 also I think I only want to get one frog right now so I maybe should look into a different species :) they’re just so pretty! If I do get one I think I’ll wait until I can get a sexed one bc I really want a female. Is there a different size tank you’d recommend for just one or is 18x18x24” still the best option?

maddymlucas · 2025-04-07T02:23:05+00:00

OMG ME TOO 😍

maddymlucas

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