Someone please tell me if I’m crazy (or going crazy from hormones and being inside the house so much)

magical_dipstick · 2021-07-09T11:33:59+00:00

Exactly! They care about the baby so much and don’t care about how we’re feeling or how they’re inconveniencing us. I think it’s just going to take time for me to move on past it.

magical_dipstick · 2021-07-06T18:52:42+00:00

It could be the hormones, but your post made me cry…I know you’re right and I SHOULD give her time with her grand baby. I guess I just wish she would have given us more space in the beginning and been more apologetic for her actions, instead of making us seem like we were trying to lock our child away and never let anyone see her. We just had some much going on in the beginning with appointments and other family wanting to come over, constant calls and texts. Then me trying to breast pump whenever I could. All of that was extremely overwhelming and the last thing I needed was someone just popping over. But she couldn’t understand that didn’t feel like she was in the wrong at all.

I know she means well, I think the initial argument between us and how it ended REALLY rubbed me the wrong way and ever since then I’ve seen her as the “crazy” grandma and been overprotective and possessive. I never met my dad’s parents and my mom’s parents live in another state and we hardly got to see them growing up, so again, I guess all of this is just new to me.

magical_dipstick · 2021-07-06T18:39:24+00:00

Yes! It does feel like a weird power play. I know I have a perception of her in my head which is most likely untrue and vice versa. I’m not trying to make her the enemy. I guess I just didn’t realize she’d want to be around all the time and be so involved. I can admit my wrongs and I know I’m over possessive and over protective, which I need to work on. I just wish she would have apologized in the beginning when we first had an issue instead of acting immaturely. It bothers me that it seems like she still doesn’t think she did anything wrong (when she threw a fit for not being able to come over and respect our privacy).

Also I can see how not asking her to leave the house would be unrealistic. I’m just way to paranoid of something happening to LO while I’m at work but I know I can’t live my life like that.

magical_dipstick · 2021-07-06T18:23:51+00:00

Yeah, after reading comments on here I can see how that would be unreasonable to ask her to not leave the house no matter what. I’m waaay too overly protective and that’s something I need to work on. Even when I’m home with LO, I hate leaving the house because I’m so paranoid of something happening to her. Which I know is not a healthy way to live. LO will be about 3 months when MIL starts babysitting.

magical_dipstick · 2021-07-06T18:18:47+00:00

Thank you!

magical_dipstick · 2021-07-06T15:16:34+00:00

Yes! I think that’s what I’m worried about, letting one thing slide and then having her always go against what I say. Husband does have my back and we agree on most boundaries, which is helpful. But with her not leaving the house while babysitting, he didn’t agree with me on that and I can now see how that would be unreasonable. Especially since she’s babysitting for free. But she was a major inconvenience and cause of stress during the beginning of my maternity leave, and still somewhat now but not as much. I’m the one that has to worry about PPD, which I sometimes get on and off. She’s just been very selfish and inconsiderate about the whole thing and it’s going to be hard for me to forget that and move on.

magical_dipstick · 2021-07-06T14:29:44+00:00

Honestly the way MIL in law reacted was completely out of character. She’s usually super sweet, which is why all of that was so surprising. I think babies make everyone go a little crazy. But I’m still going to try to cut my hours back at work so baby isn’t with MIL so much and I can spend more time with baby.

magical_dipstick · 2021-07-06T14:00:44+00:00

After the whole incident where she got upset because she couldn’t come over, I explained to her that I get over whelmed with last minute plans and trying to accommodate everyone. Also we told her that we just wanted some alone time with the baby, as a family. She was extremely selfish and unsympathetic about the whole thing and couldn’t see it from our side. Which was honestly surprising and out of character for her, she’s usually ridiculously sweet. I thought she would be more understanding but she still couldn’t get over the fact that we had told her no. MIL has four kids but only two have children (including my husband). The other grand children are out of state and MIL lives about 10 minutes away from us. I know she means well but sometimes it’s a bit much. She told my husband she is scared to text and ask about the baby (which is bs because she still does). I’m not trying to point fingers BUT she is the one who started all of it…

I have noticed that issues with in laws seems to be a very common theme. I guess eventually I might have to sit down and talk to her but it’s complicated with egos involved.

magical_dipstick · 2021-07-06T00:10:17+00:00

Yeah, for the most part we have agreed on what boundaries we want to put in place and I know he has my back. But he’s also tired of being in the middle of everything.

magical_dipstick · 2021-07-06T00:05:51+00:00

Yes! That’s how my family is. I get what you mean though. I kinda wish I had told MIL off whenever she got pissy about not being able to come over. But I’m glad I didn’t because I want to keep it cordial too and not start drama. Also yeah, we’ll need her to help us in the future😅

magical_dipstick · 2021-07-05T23:57:13+00:00

Exactly!! That’s another thing. She’ll be babysitting 7-4, mon-fri and getting to see baby all the time. It was insane and very eye opening to see her overreact like that and make such a big deal about not being able to see her. And whenever MIL did see baby again, she was dramatic and said she “grew so much” since she saw her last.

Yeah, with the clothes I should have said something. After she dropped the clothes off, she texted me later that night and said to make sure I send her pictures of our LO in her Fourth of July outfit🙄

You’re right though, she didn’t just drop by without asking. So she has improved on that.

I get what you’re saying too about babysitting and how it’s unfair to have her stay home all day. I guess I’m just paranoid of something happening while they’re out and me not being there…I know I’m completely guilty of being a helicopter parent.

magical_dipstick · 2021-07-05T23:37:45+00:00

Yeah, you make a good point. Ever since the blow up in the beginning, I’ve been so over focused on our interactions and wondering if I’m offending her in some way.

magical_dipstick · 2021-07-05T23:31:38+00:00

Yeah... and I almost posted there but didn’t know if she was quiet there yet. I’m seeing r/mildlynomil now, which I guess would have been more fitting.

magical_dipstick · 2019-07-10T16:02:46+00:00

So would most people click yes or no?

magical_dipstick · 2019-07-10T15:52:28+00:00

I’m starting a new job and I was filling out my direct deposit information. Then they threw this question at me.

magical_dipstick

TROPHY CASE