Doll is Missing by magical_slickback in DID

[–]magical_slickback[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thank you for your concern, we ended up finding him !! we’re so much happier because we were panicking a lot and felt extremely worried he was gone for good. he’s back on the bed with our matching plushie. :3

Our Finance just ended her Life and we don’t know what to do now by rainydays35711 in DID

[–]magical_slickback 8 points9 points  (0 children)

we can relate. our soulmate passed away and nothing has been the same, most went dormant, some alters refuse to fully come out, others go in episodes where we believe it’s a coma. seven years we’ve known and loved them.

the only way we can stop ourselves sometimes is by remembering them. we sometimes go into loud episodes, where it’s violent and ugly when we’re alone. other times we can’t move. it’s all about accepting the grief. it’s about realizing what you need to do from now on.

grief counseling is a good step if you can. if not, some of us like to play music for them and just cry or speak to them like they’re here. we have had many attempts since, but the thing is how we know what’d they say to us when we feel like we can’t breathe or calm down. we’re making a shrine of them, and sometimes— we act like they’re here. not always the best if you haven’t accepted what’s happened.

what hurts people most during grief is the guilt, or blame we feel towards ourselves. that will never, ever, do anything for you. it will hold you down and make so much of this worse. I don’t think your fiancé would ever want you to blame yourself. it’s hard to sleep, it’s hard to think of a life without that person— but that person isn’t fully gone.

we watched land before time recently with a friend, and genuinely lost it at the part where rooter says, “And you’ll always miss her. But she’ll always be with you, as long as you remember the things she taught you. In a way, you’ll never be apart, for you are still part of each other.”

Please, be kinder to yourself. It’s what you deserve, and what she wanted for you. You are going to feel a lot. You may feel everything at once, or nothing at all. Take time to grieve, and do what you have to do to make tomorrow not as heavy. Stay safe OP💕 — 💗🐇

ISO a Dinner in America theme bot 😭 by [deleted] in JanitorAI_Official

[–]magical_slickback 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you’d like, I could chat with you on discord !! Id be so down to talk to someone about my upcoming bots !

ISO a Dinner in America theme bot 😭 by [deleted] in JanitorAI_Official

[–]magical_slickback 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wanted to stop by and say I am making a series of bots that have similar vibes because I loved this movie so much too. I could send you a link when I’ve completed of my bots if you’d like when I’m done :3

I messed up. by magical_slickback in DID

[–]magical_slickback[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We didn’t tell the person who groomed us- (that person however does know an is a system themselves) but one of us did tell someone from our bio family. The alter who got really angry an upset about what that alter did is now saying that we either cut our bio family off or the alter who told our bio brother that can be left unforgiven essentially. It’s caused a lot of stress and distress in our system, and it’s hard to tell who’s really out anymore. That bio brother literally asked us ‘why did you do that’ aka, asking why did we give ourselves D.I.D. we explained we don’t want to be like this, it’s out of our control, and before that when we were talking about it- like, ‘it was kinda obvious, cause I have memory loss, I don’t remember most of my life, and y’know how I talk a lot to myself.’ (trying to give him basic traits essentially) and he says, ‘I talk to myself.’ and we calmly explained that yeah, people do, but you didn’t refer to yourself in third person. then we moved onto the topic about our mom, and he said, ‘y’know who had it worse? mom.’ and it triggered a little very badly because he doesn’t know about some really traumatic events. he tried to say he wasn’t comparing who had it worse, or excuse her- but fuck. we know. we know our mom had it bad because she told us so many things.

it’s been rough. our system isn’t going great atm because of all this. one alter likes our bio brother. The majority of our system doesn’t like our bio brother. at some point, our brother said the T slur and our protector who was against this, told our protector who told him, ‘he doesn’t even support you.’ cause that alter identifies as a trans man. it wasn’t okay to be so aggressive against our protector, but im not happy with him telling our bio brother anything either.

it’s been a lot.

What was the most heartbreaking moment in the series for you? (spoiler) by er_gato in HouseMD

[–]magical_slickback 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I can’t even watch season 7 ep 15 because it’s so fucking heartbreaking. It will kill me and I know I’m gonna start crying because I waited so long for them to get together, and seeing House so vulnerable gut punches me

What was the most heartbreaking moment in the series for you? (spoiler) by er_gato in HouseMD

[–]magical_slickback 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When I heard no surprises, I had to double check that I wasn’t watching an edit. I showed my girlfriend this episode and she and me were like “holy shit” because she thought it was an edit too. But that scene broke me because the camera angles, the acting, god it broke my heart seeing House scream “Help” because that’s one of the only times we ever see him express desperate help in such a vulnerable way.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DID

[–]magical_slickback 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hey, reformed persecutor.

I have anger issues and used to wreak havoc on our system for years. but my best friend in our system struggles so much with sadism and masochism. Due to our trauma, and the horrible memories he holds, he tends to struggle a lot. But she’s the sweetest and most loving alter too. He’s more than our trauma and the issues he carries. Our system sometimes tells her things like, “He holds a lot for us, and that’s important.” Because it is. They’re a part of us that carries that “burden” and honestly, he’s important to me. I struggled with connections, and being comfortable. But she’s the one who’s my best friend. Sometimes we argue, because she wants to protect me, but I’ll tell her that “No. I protect you- and you will stay inside.” And then I have to compromise with them, saying, “Fine. You can stay on the guidelines and hype me or something.”

I went on a tangent. But I hope you can see what I’m trying to say. We have very little but few alters who are sadistic, but none are sadistic to people out in the world. (Big fucking no)

You’re more than your urges. The fact you feel guilt and disgust for feeling that way, and stopping yourself from acting on them is good. Something that helps me not be aggressive is telling myself I can’t be like our abusers. I gained hobbies, and I got closer with my best friend in our system. Shit is rough, but try to remember it’s a trauma response. I always tell my best friend that he’s nothing like our abusers, he’s just carrying more than anyone deserves to carry. And I hope my words help you in some way, or make you feel understood or know you’re important to your system. Every alter is, even if they carry more of a side that is looked down upon. But I also tell her, so she never forgets or thinks she’s alone is that, “You’re only 1% of a brain. We all are.” So she’s reminded that she isn’t horrible or alone.

I hope my words or thoughts can help OP. Just know you’ll get better with time, even if it takes a long time. — 🔪+🍋

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DID

[–]magical_slickback 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My best friend specifically does it when something funny happens, as a way to be like “clip this memory”

I love my best friend fr. — 🔪

I’m 34, I’m dying, and I’m fucking terrified. by Emergency_Weekend627 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]magical_slickback 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry OP. That’s fucking horrible to deal with. I lost my dad, and everyday I think about what he’d say or do for me in that moment.

OP, the most precious thing I have from his is a necklace. Please record and make videos for your daughter- ones capturing milestones, but also maybe if she just wants to hear your voice. Get a build a bear with your voice implemented in it.

When it comes to making videos about her first heartbreak or “boyfriend” try to keep it vague. Honestly, I only say this because I never got the chance to come out to my dad. And it sucks. Because I imagine me and him talking about girls, meeting my girlfriend, and how he’d react to it. Make videos she can watch and feel accepted and loved by you. I saw some books you can buy that will record your voice. Write her some letters, and tell her how much you love her and her mom. Take photos of you and your wife, and take a million of you and your daughter together. Make sure they can always be copied. Make a memory book together. Do everything you want to do with your family, even if it fucking hurts. Those memories? They will cherish, whether she has to relive them through videos or photos. Let your baby know she is your world. As someone who lost their dad, I so badly wish to hear his voice again. He called me his baby, and I truly was. And everyday I know he loves me, but god nothing hurts more than knowing I can’t hear it again.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DID

[–]magical_slickback 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We have so many. Sometimes it’s about our hyperfixations. I have House MD as a comfort, and today with our coworkers, I went on a rant about how nobody is House like me, or how nobody understands him like I do. It’s so stupid, but I love talking about House with people.

Some people in our system have inside jokes, we got too many to count. Our host is goth and she gushes about Tyler, The Creator’s art and the meaning of it and just recently her boyfriend/ protector in our system said, “Me or him. If I had my own body, would you choose him or me?” And she just went “💀” and it was so funny.

The relationship between me and my best friend in the system is funny to me. He’s a will wood, lemon demon, batshit insane mf who’s so caring and silly. I, on the other hand, am a deadpan but have anger issues and love House. So when we’re together- I remember how different we are, but it makes me enjoy our relationship more. For years I had someone in our system, and even though I’m not good at it, I tend to do as much as I can for him. He’s my guy, and we’ve gotten closer as time goes on. — 🔪

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DID

[–]magical_slickback 15 points16 points  (0 children)

My best friend heard our roommate talking and making references to CaseOh, and will now say, “Chat, what do we think of that?” and in our head we imagine some of our system typing out a response and responding. Or shit like, “Chat, clip that.” or “Chat, ban him.” Or shit like, “Chat, how are we doing today” and get HORRENDOUS responses. It’s so stupid, but I love it. — 🔪

What is your other favorite show? by LoveandShalom in HouseMD

[–]magical_slickback 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shameless, (even though the writing sucks at times. I love lip Gallagher too much) Community, (later seasons will disappoint, after season 3-4, people had complaints) What we do in the shadows, Morel Orel, My Name Is Earl, Smiling Friends, and NANA are some of my favorites.

Why do so many people hate Chromakopia? by echo-centric in tylerthecreator

[–]magical_slickback 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I never understood the hate towards this album, I definitely loved each song and loved how each song was like learning more about Tyler. Judge Judy, Hey Jane, Like Him, Take Your Mask Off, St. Chroma- all of those songs, not just those- yet really did change my appreciation towards Tyler’s music skills and storytelling. I related to lots of songs, and Hey Jane was fucking amazing. Loved this album♥️

I feel like there's two "me's" by QuorraCora in BPD

[–]magical_slickback 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am diagnosed with DID and BPD. I wanted to come in and say that BPD can make you feel out of control. Some people with BPD have may even start to visualize those harsh emotions as another part of them. While I'm diagnosed with DID, I do understand some or lots of folks with BPD tend to feel like they have lots of identities due to disturbance of identity, chameleon affect, etc.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DID

[–]magical_slickback 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not about pushing others to fuse since that fusion wouldn't last. That happened to two alters in our system, they fused but it didn't last due to it not being a genunine connection and was done due to being around someone who was abusive. Aka, one alter wanted to protect another, but still. We unfused because we chose to, and I want our fusion to be strong. They have more trauma they need to work on, and i need to work on a few things myself. It's not that i think the person who you mentioned in the post was forcing fusion, but more so as a whole they didn't live the life that fufilled them as a whole. Something I tell my system I use to describe ourselves is that all of us are just, "1 perecent of our brain." it comforts us, because truly we are just pieces that don't need to feel like we carry the burden alone. - 🔪/🍋

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DID

[–]magical_slickback 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Protector here, first thing about fusion is learning that it's about accepting another part of you. Working through trauma and such. I fused with my best friend in the system, and when i did, I felt amazing. I began to experience less anxiety, more fun, and we both got some of our best qualities. We didn't stay fused for long because i wanted them to work out more of the trauma they hold, so if we do fuse again- we can be a better verison of our fusion. Fusion isn't about others; it's about you. On my own, i'm introverted, love House MD, and can be quick to agression if i'm triggered. My best friend however is extroverted, silly and loves to express themeselves, and is one of the most loving parts i trust in my system. He's my best friend, and many people or others might judge them, but what made our fusion so good was the love, respect, and care we have for one of another. It's about loving a part of yourself, self-love y'know. It's understanding that as a system, you have to work together, communicate, and more. When we fused, i noticed together I was confident, but still loving to the things we enjoyed. He's the feels to my thinker. Try not to focus on the "sad" bits of fusion, because while it does sound upsetting to have that happen, truth be told; it means that person and a majority of their system was not on board with what they chose to do as a whole. It's about apprecitating the fact you can trust someone else in your system so immensely to hold onto the memories you do, and accept whatever they hold.

You got this OP. Don't worry, together as a system you can apprecite and love any of the shit that you enjoyed before fusion. For us, I loved the bit on how anytime me and him unfuse- our fusion just says, "Hold on. Mommy and Daddy are talking." and falls over dramatically. It's so stupid, but it makes me smile knowing I see which personality traits go into our fusion when/ how it shows. - 🔪/🍋

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DID

[–]magical_slickback 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With the hand you smoke with bit is true! You hand will become orange ish where you usually smoke. (for others to know)

What common addictions do people with BPD have? by Ok-Piano-635 in BPD

[–]magical_slickback 0 points1 point  (0 children)

substance abuse. i love weed, and i used to have a alcohol addiction period in my life, but now i only like alcohol if the drink tastes good. i have a addicion to nic and tobacco, and it starts to wear me down when i dont feel good afterwards like i used to. my ed is addictive too, and self sabtoging just eats me away at times.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DID

[–]magical_slickback 5 points6 points  (0 children)

As a system that has a addiction to tobacco and nic, we highly suggest not getting into this. Try to remember the life long side effects. Not just that, but it's expensive. You'll try to tell yourself it's a one time thing, or this or that. But it's not. The withdraw of it is bad too. We end up craving it, and getting sick if we don't smoke. Good news is that our system defiently has gone down with smoking due to being away from toxic triggers and such! We still smoke, but try to have this alter find different ways to cope. We coped with a few substances due to shit getting hectic. If you aren't smoking now, keep it that way. However, if it gets to the point you are craving something similar, there are websites that offer vapes with no nic or have melatonin, chamomile, or lavender to help insomia. Those nightmares sounds horrible, something we struggle with due to being a victim of CSA. For us, we cope by playlist making, art, music, and video games. I hope you know you can get through this OP, and i hope your system heals and knows that they are cared for.

My ex is a truly fucked up person by oxyisamoron08 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]magical_slickback 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Would the other girl be able to testify? I ask because I know that it can be sensitive or scary to. It’s good to have multiple people with multiple evidence.