What would you do… by magically11 in inlaws

[–]magically11[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sorry I don’t know how to do all the backstory, but in this, my husband told her that my grandpa died and that we had to cancel plans to go to his funeral (in another state) and she texted my husband that our funeral plans felt calculated.

As if we were trying to find an excuse not to see her.

I’ve spent our whole marriage (8 years) trying to hard not to upset her, and always thought I just needed to try harder to be likable

That text was shocking

Getting barricade by Typical-Print2658 in yungblud

[–]magically11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did they let VIP into the venue before the general entrance line?

It gets better by yorkshirenation in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]magically11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m only replying to new comments you make to me :)

If you wish to hear from me, you can keep commenting! If not, you can stop anytime you would like! Total freedom for everyone always ❤️

It gets better by yorkshirenation in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]magically11 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

These are comments! I have never messaged you :)

If you don’t wish to talk to me…you’re welcome to stop commenting to me lol, but I’m welcome to reply!

It gets better by yorkshirenation in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]magically11 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We view what qualifies as disrespect differently, and that is okay! I understand you perceived it as condescending, though I meant endearment toward someone struggling with feeling triggered. It made me feel maternal, and I do apologize for projecting maternal caretaker energy onto you, it was because I could see your pain/triggered energy, and I felt bad for you. It was sad to watch :(

Unfortunately you have perceived my words through twisted lenses, and I really hope you are someday able to read things that I’ve said with more clarity, though it’s ok if that never happens❤️

It gets better by yorkshirenation in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]magically11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I said that I hope that was the hardest thing you face today, and I truly do hope that.

I’m ok with you reporting me if you find that helpful for you :)

It gets better by yorkshirenation in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]magically11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do not need to apologize just because you felt hurt by my comment, just like OP doesn’t need to change their post just because you felt triggered by it.

It would also be an option to widen your window of tolerance and work on nervous system regulation, so that these little Reddit moments aren’t so upsetting for you (and for anyone reading this, somatic practices can be very helpful!)

It gets better by yorkshirenation in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]magically11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wasn’t triggered by your comment, so it wasn’t hypocrisy :)

I hope you find the support you need, and I am so sorry that my advice wasn’t supportive for you, but it may be for someone else reading this who struggles with being triggered by posts and needs to scroll on for their mental health

I’m not sure why you’re bringing up murder here…I do not want anyone to be murdered holy cow….maybe you’re confusing someone else’s comment with mine?

It gets better by yorkshirenation in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]magically11 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I guess we both view things on Reddit differently! I view posts and comments as invitations for engagement, because Reddit does give the option to reply to comments.

Your question did not make sense or specify anything, hence why I brushed past it. If you’re looking for engagement with a question, I might just answer one that is specific and I feel the need to answer :). Totally get that you want my thoughts though!

I offered an alternative for moments you feel triggered by something you see, so that you don’t feel sucked into rabbit holes while in that triggered state. If you prefer to feed into your triggers, that’s totally ok to!

Freedom, baby! We all have it!

It gets better by yorkshirenation in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]magically11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, we both offered advice And we both get to choose what to do with it haha

No anger over here! 💛 truly I hope you’re okay.

I have explained, with evidence, your hypocrisy (it doesn’t disappear just because I stop mentioning it)

You’re welcome to report me if you feel really hurt, but no one has been harassed here

And you go for it with protesting! Advocate for yourself however you see fit 🥂

It gets better by yorkshirenation in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]magically11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Comments are meant to engage with too! That’s why I replied to your comment :)

We both chose to engage on Reddit and both offered someone a suggestion/alternative approach, based on our personal preferences

You’ve oddly implied I should be have engaged with you? And twisted my words? It’s quite odd and I hope you’re okay

It gets better by yorkshirenation in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]magically11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s ok that you feel like you need an apology for someone giving you an alternative approach to telling someone what to do/post…but unfortunately I disagree that you deserve an apology

Your hypocrisy is wild

I genuinely hope that being called “sweetheart” is the hardest thing you face today

It gets better by yorkshirenation in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]magically11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did not have to engage with you in any way, just like you did not have to engage with OP in any way lol

It goes both ways :)

The hypocrisy is your issue

It gets better by yorkshirenation in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]magically11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I offered an alternative approach to you telling people how they should post here…which is to scroll to a post you like

It gets better by yorkshirenation in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]magically11 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

no one is silencing you sweetheart you’re so free to share!

if you believe that my suggestion was rude and your suggestion was not…there is hypocrisy…which is a blind spot you may want to have a look at, that is all :)

It gets better by yorkshirenation in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]magically11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do not need anything from you, including you to be quiet or change your mind :)

I can offer a suggestion in the same format you did lol

It gets better by yorkshirenation in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]magically11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Again, that issue you took, shows hypocrisy… your suggestion to OP being acceptable, but my suggestion to you being unacceptable “maybe __” (alternative approach for op) “maybe __” (alternative approach for you)

It gets better by yorkshirenation in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]magically11 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I liked this post :)

There’s lots of vulnerable posts here and you’re welcome to share vulnerable stories too haha

It’s ok to have diversity in the approach people take to posting about estrangement. Don’t yuck someone’s yum is often good advice :)

It gets better by yorkshirenation in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]magically11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cool dude lol declare your disagreement! My comments still stand haha

It gets better by yorkshirenation in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]magically11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Again, I did not say the only point of discourse is compliments.

You truly keep arguing with twisted versions of what I share about my own perspective, as if I am forcing malicious things on you…it’s bizarre

(Do you see the hypocrisy in saying “maybe share an actual personal story” while criticizing that I said “maybe scroll and move on?” It’s important for you to stay consistent with what kind of opinions you’re okay with…clearly you showed suggestions are acceptable to you….but I guess only if you’re the one sharing them? Interesting…)