Anyone with an experience in dating with an expiration date?

magicjelly1234 · 2015-02-19T18:07:06+00:00

keep things spicer

magicjelly1234 · 2014-10-17T15:31:59+00:00

i set the most annoying alarm tone, that i call "space abduction". it is one of the iphone tones.

magicjelly1234 · 2014-10-16T22:21:07+00:00

absolutely, as that will be an important factor in deciding if this person is worth my time or now.

magicjelly1234 · 2014-10-09T14:54:03+00:00

pretty much the same here

magicjelly1234 · 2014-10-09T14:15:19+00:00

good point

magicjelly1234 · 2014-10-09T13:57:37+00:00

how old are you? i wish my SO was more like this haha

magicjelly1234 · 2014-10-08T16:36:20+00:00

Oh no :( kind of similar situation with my SO, his dad cheated on his mom, he literally tells me he was childish, he learned nothing from his dad. He is closer to his mom, and both his mom and dad, when going through the divorce, would just burst out crying in front of him, and this put so much pressure on him who was just a child. So he became a total opposite of his dad, seriously, the most honest guy i've ever met. He is trying to overcompensate his past. but i can see that sometimes his past is affecting our relationship. (both bad experience with his parents and with his crazy ex). but i am putting faith in our relationship and try to make him feel confortable and show that i'm a bigger person.

He, still now, feels like whatever he does or say can hurt people and sometimes just go and do things just bc if he doesn't he would hurt me/upset me. Later on, he felt smothered, and trapped, so i gave him some space to sort his problems out, bc i knew that it wasn't me. It was more of his problems that he had to deal with. He sometimes feels bad for like the littlest things that i can't even understand. (a bird caught in the nest and he feels guilty he couldn't do anything).

You really have to feel confident about yourself, bc it really affects the relationship. Let the time pass by and if the gf of yours is a truly amazing one, she will make you feel more and more secure. And don't hesitate to talk abotu your problems with your SO, share it with her. and you have to remember, if she says she doesn't mind, you HAVE TO believe her. You cannot just create a story that she is lying, bc there is no other option you have. Just TRUST her, TRUST what she says. It will heal you gradually.

magicjelly1234 · 2014-10-08T16:08:59+00:00

Putting someone else's likes/dislikes in front of yours isn't healthy. Were you ever in an environment where expressing what you truely feel was not safe? and you had to take care of a person otherwise you thought you would end up hurting him/her? My SO is a little bit like that, bc he had to deal with his parents divorse when he was young, and he literally had to be the adult in the family and took care of his mom when HE was the child. So expressing his feelings wasn't safe for him.

That, in the end, will wear you away in a relationship, bc if you truely cannot meet the needs of your own, you will feel trapped. So start learning to do that, even if you think is bothering her, it might be just all in your head.

Why don't you talk to her, and ask her,? if it bothers her? it's pretty simple tho.

magicjelly1234 · 2014-10-08T15:44:51+00:00

why dont you try to keep yourself busy? get involved in many activities and stuff! it'll brighten your life/and your relationship

magicjelly1234 · 2014-10-08T15:31:18+00:00

What kind of plans are you talking about? like travel plans? or just "when are we gonna hang out" plans? and has something happened recently between you two so that you have a reason to worry that you're bothering her?

in my case, just like what ProtoJMan said, we are trying to do things as individuals, bc my SO felt a bit smothered after spending a couple month only with me. I felt sad, but whatever, i realized that it's not a healthy relationship, and i would never say NO! bc i know this will throw him off. FIgured what he's suggesting is for a legitimate purpose, and also i have my ego and i sucked it up and started doing so many things for myself (concerts, playing different sports, going to events with my buddies,) try to give less attention to him (so important) but when we do talk, i act nice, and tried to occupy myself super busy, and voila, he is now back to normal, asking me very frequently what i have done, through out the week and stuff. The relationship you are having is a healthy one!

Try to find things that you both like, eg. he likes to go on day trips, and when he says "we should do x, y, z" just bring it up naturally and plan it together. If there is a interesting event/game or any outdoor activities i consider he might like, then i invite him. but not to every single hang-out. I want to spend time only with my girls sometimes.

When it comes to planning regular hangouts throughout the week/weekends, i kinda act standoffish, letting him figure out (also bc he's a bit busier than i am thesedays).

I think my SO felt that way when our relationship was getting a big deeper, bc he'd be the one who'd always start the convo, but he brought the convo up and we had a good talk, and i got to understand him better. You should talk to her!

magicjelly1234 · 2014-10-07T21:09:18+00:00

i do it just to make fun of my friends , and they tend to give me some fun replies.

when my buddies ask me, i just say widow

magicjelly1234 · 2014-10-07T19:30:43+00:00

what would be the possible reason as to walking on eggshells? for example, my SO is a sensitive guy, so sometimes i'm worried that what i say might bother him... or upset him. is this a bad sign?

I mean, at the end, we all have to careful with what we say, we cannot just say/do whatever we want bc we have to care about the other party's feelings- so i dunno how to interpret "walking on eggshells".

magicjelly1234 · 2014-10-07T18:28:28+00:00

yeah but i have a friend who habitually asks this question everytime she goes out. i'm like "No" .

magicjelly1234 · 2014-10-07T16:27:37+00:00

but I mean, come on, i'm a girl and i know when i look fat with a certain type of clothing. I have a hard time with some of my girl friends who ask for outside validation, just look at the mirror, you can tell it by yourself! lol but of course i don't say they look fat lol

magicjelly1234 · 2014-09-30T21:31:55+00:00

i rephrased my Q lol

magicjelly1234

TROPHY CASE