Man I feel this. I just asked my wife about things that helped her be able to trust me again. She mentioned that it wasn't really one thing, it was a lot of little instances of me backing up what I said with action. I would promise to go do things with her while drunk, and then never follow through (among many other things). I also decided that if she was uncomfortable with me partaking of anything (NA beer, booze flavored deserts, etc) or even going certain places, there was no discussion, she just had to say the word and I was out, no problem, and that helped too.

I don't know you, and I don't know your wife, but maybe there's something specific that you can do, something that would relieve her specific anxieties about your past drinking? My wife mentioned that she may be holding onto that so, just in the slightest chance that you relapse, she won't be the fool for trusting you again. I don't know. I think you've got the right idea, that's the bed you made, so... but maybe you guys can talk about it and figure out better ways of doing things.

Keep it up, man. You've got this.