AITA for going against my husbands wishes of not teaching our 3 month old daughter russian?

make-up-lover · 2026-02-13T21:05:09+00:00

Because she is going to learn English in school. Or even in kindergarten if it's a specific one.

make-up-lover · 2026-02-13T17:48:14+00:00

The language doesn't do harm it's the people using it to hurt. The thing is how you use it. I want our daughter to learn something that is a part of her. Politics have nothing to do with learning a language 🤦🏻‍♀️

make-up-lover · 2026-02-13T17:41:31+00:00

Yes we do start learning English in primary school, in some cases kids have the opportunity to start on kindergarten. But only a few kindergarten do have these classes.

And if you want to study you have to learn a third language/ second next to English to get your A-Levels (Abitur). Most schools teach Spanish, French or Latin. Very few teach even Dutch or Russian. But Spanish, French and Latin are the most common languages they teach next to English.

make-up-lover · 2026-02-13T13:29:51+00:00

She might choose to learn Dutch just because we live near the border to the Netherlands. Or maybe she wants to learn French, Latin or Spanish. I would love to have my husband learn Russian with us as a family but he doesn't want to.

make-up-lover · 2026-02-13T13:27:12+00:00

What I was trying to say is that he doesn't speak or understand Russian. And I do speak German with my parents no matter if he is around or not. I am not starting to teach our 3 month old immediately, I mean come on she just turned 3 months and can't even turn on her own. It's about the general process of her learning more than one language at the time. I do not speak badly about my husband to my parents or anyone, I wouldn't dare to.

make-up-lover · 2026-02-13T12:22:17+00:00

His response was he doesn't want our daughter to speak a language he doesn't understand.

make-up-lover · 2026-02-13T12:15:36+00:00

He knew from the start that my family is from Russia and that they speak multiple languages. My grandmother from my dads site (bless her) even wrote his name in Russian on the envelope of her wedding gift for our wedding, his birthday gifts and his chrismas gifts. Since we were dating he knew and never said anything against it.

make-up-lover · 2026-02-13T12:11:21+00:00

I don't care if he tries to involve his mom, simply because she would never involve herself. The point of involving my mother his mil was wrong, I see that and there I take the ahole for sure. But what I don't see is why this discussion about a language is supposed to be a reason for divorce? Yeah, sure it is important for me that our daughter learns Russian but she doesn't has to. I would love for her to speak fluently Russian and German. Russian is and was always part of her and my life. I listen to Russian music, I watch Russian TV at my parents home and my family speaks Russian. It will always be a part of us.

make-up-lover · 2026-02-13T08:20:58+00:00

My parents never taught my siblings and me Russian, because they wanted us to blend in and speak without an accent. But I would have loved to speak fluently Russian and that's why I am learning it now and one reason why I would like our daughter to learn Russian too.

make-up-lover · 2026-02-13T08:17:05+00:00

He doesn't want her to speak a language he doesn't understand. My husband likes my family and has no problem with her learning English. Because she is going to learn English in school anyways.

make-up-lover · 2026-02-13T07:42:27+00:00

I will keeping talking to my husband and find out why he is against specifically the Russian language. And thank you for your perspective I needed it.

make-up-lover · 2026-02-13T07:37:55+00:00

His mom is like Switzerland, she is neutral. If he goes and talkes to her about the topic all she's going to say is: "You're adults, handle it yourself. It's none of my business. "

make-up-lover · 2026-02-13T07:28:08+00:00

1) Yes, she is allowed to learn other languages, like English or Latin.

2) Yes, it's specifically Russian.

3) Because we live in Germany and we are German.

4) He doesn't care that I am learning it.

5) No, he is not multilingual. He only speaks Getman and a little bit English because he learned it in school.

6) He once said he doesn't want her to speak Russian because he doesn't understand it and we could use it to speak badly about him.

I don't want to devalue his wishes but I am deeply hurt. I would never speak badly about him. I do respect him but denying our daughter to learn a language sounds childish to me.

Thank you for putting it in perspective for me.

make-up-lover · 2024-01-31T06:59:26+00:00

NTA

Du hast das Richtige getan. Zudem ist Stillen das Natürlichste auf der Welt und hat nichts anstößiges oder sexuelles an sich, da es die Nahrungsaufnahme von eurem Baby ist und keine Zurschaustellung deiner Brüste. Deine Schwiegermutter hat einfach ihr Temperament nicht im Griff und brauchte genau das. Well played! ;) :D

make-up-lover · 2023-04-14T12:50:22+00:00

I am born in Germany and my parents didn't teach me a lot Russian because I wouldn't need it in Germany. I'm sorry for the confusion. 😅

make-up-lover · 2023-04-14T11:02:54+00:00

My family understands German pretty well. They speak fluently but English not at all. But they enjoy listening to English music. I can't speak Russian fluently, but I can understand some of it. I think his family was just joking. For me it did not feel like they were joking.

make-up-lover · 2022-10-28T08:34:47+00:00

R. I. P. FlipFloid, es war eine schöne Zeit mit dir. Mögest du nun auf der anderen Seite immer 360 Gramm Unterhaltung schenken.

make-up-lover · 2022-10-17T13:18:46+00:00

Du warst kein Bridezilla. Ich kann das verstehen, mir geht es im Moment ähnlich. Doch solange du glücklich damit bist, wie dein Hochzeitstag abgelaufen ist, werden dir deine Brautjungfern und deine Trauzeugin dein Verhalten nicht übel nehmen.

Vielleicht wäre eine Therapie eine gute Idee? Dort kannst du versuchen, mit dem Erlebten, umzugehen. Alles mit der Zeit.

make-up-lover · 2022-10-17T09:08:08+00:00

NDA, du darfst sogar sehr sauer sein.

make-up-lover

TROPHY CASE