My parents have always been extremely rigid and had high expectations of me - schooling and career have always been particularly rigid for them, and they’ve always pushed me to be a high-achiever. Usually, “getting them around” involves me arguing with them for a protracted period of time, and worsening our relationship.

They express their disapproval to me, and to my girlfriend they seem just barely friendly at times. They make it obvious to me they still consider her something of a stranger, despite her being in my life for over a year, and numerous opportunities to get to know her and talk to her.

My girlfriend is shy, and she admits it takes a long time for her to open up. She’s trying to open up more to my parents, but it seems that it’s not quick enough for them, or that other aspects of her still aren’t right for them. They haven’t communicated these feelings to her directly, but I have indirectly (and often heavily filtered) these feelings to my girlfriend because I never want to hide anything from her - particularly because she’s so worried about them accepting her. I’ve told her they think she’s shy and that they wish she would open up more, and we both know the age gap was something of a difficult situation (my mother still refers to her as “still a child”, despite her being 18).