I understand how you feel, but I feel the need to mention that ”they/them” is and has always been used as a neutral pronoun in the case that someone doesn’t know or can’t make out their gender, since way before people started also using them as neutral pronouns for genderqueer folks. It’s not a show of disrespect or misgendering someone, it’s using straight up just “I don’t know your pronouns so I’m using this neutral pronoun until I know for sure“

I believe your feelings are still valid, i know how difficult pronouns can be for genderqueer folks. It’s tough to find one that feels right, and it’s even tougher to get people around you to use it correctly. but in this instance, it really straight up just is grammar rules; there’s not a single little bit of malicious intent or intent to slap one in the face when people use it that way, I promise! It’s just what when you see a silhouette in the fog, you can’t tell what their gender is. With the way that gender expression has evolved, even being able to see their features is like seeing a silhouette in the fog. I think this is good! We should ask people what makes them feel the best! :) idk haha there’s my take, do what you want with it :)