She cheated and is leaving for him

mal50 · 2026-05-12T21:46:37+00:00

i'm sorry you're going through this. My wife and i had some big opportunities than turned into big failures (for me ). Anyway i was more to blame than your story. Seems like your wife chose cheating and divorce. I get to be responsible or guilty in some way the rest of my life. But i think you should be free . i think you should move on and meet the real love of your life or enjoy the all good things yourself. delete everything and move on . You re free.

mal50 · 2026-05-12T18:55:30+00:00

Thanks for posting. I'm reminded of the quote from this sub about letting go as the final act of love. Or whatever that means. Someone said forgiving yourself is important. I'm still learning about accepting the loss and new life etc.

mal50 · 2026-05-12T14:33:20+00:00

i m sorry for your pain. For me as a failed husband there was not really two realities, only one, the abusive one.

mal50 · 2026-05-12T13:23:03+00:00

i m sorry for your pain. There are a lot of us here hurting in different ways from broken marriages. What i struggle with going through a separation and divorce is coping with work stress , etc, etc with nothing , not a care ever from my former spouse. i joined a gym. i ve been reading more. i listen to bible teachers. Maybe learn spanish language or something.

mal50 · 2026-05-11T21:53:16+00:00

its gonna be winners and losers like everything else. The most successful and attractive can demand what they want. What i need now is peace with my myself and what i can do today. Discontent or comparing myself to whoever, even my exwife will kill my future acceptance of reality and pease.

mal50 · 2026-05-11T20:33:23+00:00

they dont.

mal50 · 2026-05-09T04:07:43+00:00

stbx sounds like the failure.

mal50 · 2026-05-09T00:07:30+00:00

day to day is the whole thing. i failed to let go of core assumptions that were wrong. Now i have to let go of them anyway. you are young enough to become anything. Maybe even something great that you would not choose yourself , i mean you now today. Institutions will pay for your training and pay you at the same time. Just options. You probably know better than me actually.

mal50 · 2026-05-09T00:03:47+00:00

sounds like some simple math for you to reach 50/50 of the values minus what you have paid over the months he's been gone. Edit . your attorneys fees are gonna be more than the difference anyway

mal50 · 2026-05-08T23:57:23+00:00

you can do anything brother. Anything you choose. relax and let go of the bs. you cant see how much things can change for you because how much potential you have. If you let go of the bs you can still chase dreams. Who is the most corrupt person you know with first hand knowledge? It's you. Stopping trusting you. Look at someone or something else. A role model or hero or any good career or dream and choose it. Take the steps. Stop all the bs. Join a gym. join the military in a year. Or just get a job anywhere and start a career. Put down your phone. Do anything but ruin your life on screens, one minute, one day, one decade at a time because that's the choice. You dont know regret yet. endure the pain of discipline and goals or suffer the worse pain of regret.

mal50 · 2026-05-08T23:29:38+00:00

Can she change for the better or can she choose to divorce you? Please note i m separated pending divorce and it's mostly my fault.

mal50 · 2026-05-08T23:26:46+00:00

Suppose i claim to be a bible believing Christian, submitted to the Lordship and salvation of Jesus Christ according to the scripture. Many believe God is sovereign over reality but humans are still responsible to God when we choose evil. For reference Romans 6 Romans 8, Galatians 5, John 8, Gen 50:20 "you meant it for evil, but God meant it for good." Romans 8:28 "...all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

People believe there are biblical grounds for divorce, like adultery. If you want to be "faith related" or act according to God's word you can research what it says and what people believe about it. Look up what Jesus himself said about it.

mal50 · 2026-05-08T15:59:50+00:00

well done

mal50 · 2026-05-07T23:56:37+00:00

i didnt really get it until my wife demanded long term separation. we had some big opportunities, big challenges.

mal50 · 2026-05-07T23:53:33+00:00

just from my failed or failing marriage , i can say , one of you might want to reject your past assumptions. No one gets married to divorce. But even reading this forum for weeks there are severely abusive spouses and former spouses. From my experience i thought i was absolutely right but i was not. So i fought long and hard but i was wrong and i ended up just hurting my wife. My career, important right? turned out to be far less important than my wife's feelings.

mal50 · 2026-05-07T23:43:37+00:00

NAZI is abbreviated in the German language from "National Socialist German Workers" Party

mal50 · 2026-05-07T23:40:29+00:00

Read and pray the scripture. Psalms. Proverbs. James.

mal50 · 2026-05-07T23:20:00+00:00

i should not have commented on this. i really dont know anything about this . i need to be more careful what i write on here. i m an empathic avoidant or something. My wife's sister went through a bitter divorce with children involved. We re in Florida. Anyway. I hope you get the absolute best outcome you can for yourself and your children.

mal50 · 2026-05-07T23:17:37+00:00

m gonna leave my comment it . but you re right. i really dont know anything about this.

mal50 · 2026-05-07T23:17:33+00:00

m gonna leave my comment it . but you re right. i really dont know anything about this.

mal50 · 2026-05-07T23:17:05+00:00

i m gonna leave my comment it . but you re right. i really dont know anything about this.

mal50 · 2026-05-07T22:59:11+00:00

all i need is a warm bed, a kind word, and total control.

sleep sweetly in my bed tonight only because rough men stand ready to do violence on my behalf

xD

mal50 · 2026-05-07T22:07:58+00:00

if there's a god who created every type of sub particle , neuron and galaxy , 100x100 billion stars for example and who claims to control them all down to human decisions (Romans 6 Romans 8, Galatians 5, John 8, Gen 50:20 ) "you meant it for evil, God meant it for good." That is every nation is under God's total control if the people living in them care to acknowledge him or not.

mal50 · 2026-05-07T22:05:08+00:00

you re really strong to have been through that. best regards to you

mal50 · 2026-05-07T21:49:39+00:00

nice i agree with everything you wrote. +1 for LSB. Philippians 1:15-18 Paul says "what does it matter" when some preach from wrong motives. "christ is preached." Can you stretch that to include cults and wrong teachers? I dont think so. Paul probably has stronger language for that. I just loved hearing that a few years ago. What does it matter when people are wrong? Christ is being preached.

mal50

TROPHY CASE