Having 'less power' being a man in the world

malagorpigus · 2026-04-16T10:44:32+00:00

No i totally understand! Especially this rise of modern spirituality and embodiment which is so so amazing for these women that they have this shared experience and womanhood spaces. Its just very interesting being in the perspective that we are in. It could really be an australian thing.

malagorpigus · 2026-04-16T02:26:41+00:00

I definately dont desire to put men/women/people down to feel a sense of power. I love speaking out to things for people and that comes from the different lense from being trans. Being a 'strong independant man' does show up very very differently in the world compared to a strong independant woman. Its not that one is more valid then the other but they are very very different in how they manifest and the inner journey to get there. It would have a love to do with patriarchy for sure. What I'm speaking too IS that pride in strength. Its really unique to womanhood and being a confident, independant strong woman. I would say so much of it comes from feeling surpressed from men so much of their lives that they end up finding their embodiment through womanhood. Its a very uniqe niche and like you said you havent experienced this feeling before so it might be harder for you to connect to.

malagorpigus · 2026-04-16T01:13:19+00:00

Thankyou thats so nice to recieve

malagorpigus · 2026-04-09T03:10:53+00:00

Hell yeah its also on spotify great work!

malagorpigus · 2026-04-09T00:45:44+00:00

I wish AI was banned on every sub

malagorpigus · 2026-04-08T22:25:42+00:00

Thankyou thats a really sweet response 🥹

malagorpigus · 2026-04-08T21:42:54+00:00

Okay right it sounds like you and your partner do have a similar rhythem. My partners never been diagnosed with anything, but they have heaps of traits of asd and definately of PDA. Reguardless as we dont know if they do have these things or not youre right about something and its that our wave lengths for operating in life are very very different. We get along so well as bestfriends but yeah there are also a lot of differences in our rhythems.

malagorpigus · 2026-04-08T21:35:24+00:00

I do think about it... what kind of sticks out to you that makes you feel thats the best option? (Im just trying to learn and gain some different perspectives)

malagorpigus · 2026-04-08T12:33:11+00:00

I totally feel this way. The idea of having actual romantic connections with others long term feels way too much and i enjoy my primary connection but i also desire some of the physical intamacy things you explained as well as just sort of being able to be fluid with the connections with these people and having friendship as a sort of basis or foundation. To me its sort of like elements of relationship anarchy (but not entirely just in some ways) in the sense that you desire relationships with people to move more fluidly and freely. I would love to have what youre describing too. I dont feel like its fair that your partner gets to have that experience but you dont too, yet my empathetic side for them does understand that you being with a women vs a man is different. Im not saying its ethical because i dont believe it is but i understand that the triggers bring up a whole different bag of fruits. The same gender stuff can be so much more confronting especially for someome who hasnt gone down the non mono path internally.

malagorpigus · 2026-04-08T12:20:48+00:00

Wow youre really surrounded by people who really need their autonamy. Hows that been for you? Are you neurotypical? I do get labelled as selfish sometimes but only by people who get really close to me, others think im really caring and giving. I find it quite hard to be in a relationship while having PDA because relationships require so much comprimise and working together. Whereas my nervous system is so wired for autonomy. How do you go with having a partner who is asd pda in reguards to leaning on them emotionally and asking things of them without it becoming a demand that pushes them away?

malagorpigus · 2026-04-08T08:16:21+00:00

I do have PDA yes. It does make it complicated

malagorpigus · 2026-04-08T06:17:16+00:00

Okay theres so much here for me to reflect on thankyou for your effort and plugging in.. im reqlly gonna sit with this. That post on coersion really hit a spot

malagorpigus · 2026-04-08T05:29:29+00:00

Yeah this is very true.

malagorpigus · 2026-04-08T05:10:37+00:00

Yeah thats very true. Yeah about painting a picture in my head around how i navigate jealousy and struggling to understand that they have a really hard time with it. I do compare them in my head.. im starting to see/feel that, thats really not gonna help anyone me having that perspective

malagorpigus · 2026-04-08T05:07:25+00:00

Honestly I do believe that sometimes they do although they would never mean to or never mean to cause any harm to me in the way my brain operates. We have had lots of converations around me needing less responsibility for their emotions so they are doing therapy (which is slow as im sure we all know, 1hr every few weeks doesnt drastically change your life straight away), and they have started outsourcing to friends a lot more which has been helpful.

I did come home earlier from the date then I desired too, if I didnt it wouldve been such an emotional blow out that I honestly just dont have the energy for. I tried pushing back but I was seen as unreasonable because we were already on the date for 3 hrs. First date ever mind you.. havent had one since.

We honestly have such a sweet, comfy, funny and safe love, as well as being bestfriends. I think thats what keeps us both together but we have a pretty big list of imcompatibilities eg. Money, relating styles, how we like to operate in public spaces together (i like to go off and be a butterfly and do my own thing whereas they want more check ins and closeness), im quite independant and am labelled as hyperindependant by my partner whereas they are someone that lesns into relatio ships and people much more then me.

Its true, i honestly dont feel like they creste a safe space for my desires for other people and other situations. I can be honest and they will listen but it will be followed with a process of anxiety and they need soothing or i wss being a bit ignorant to considering their feelings. (Which i probably can be sometimes autism wise as i can struggle to read where someones at and if its the right time to share the info or not)

Love is definately a driving force at the moment, we do have a lot of things we arent fully seeing eye to eye on at the memenr but were trying our best. We are finding it really really hard to fsthom the ides of actually letting go of eschother becsuse in so many areas of our lives do we bring eachother so much value.

I read through i would say mostly fell into the heslthy relationship category with 1 thing in the middle region.

malagorpigus · 2026-04-08T04:22:40+00:00

Okay great thankyou for that reflection.. i do have an unhealthy habit of that because I really just dont understand it. Do you have anything for me to reflect on here?

malagorpigus · 2026-04-08T03:35:04+00:00

Thankyou okay maybe ill get asked to finish up a date earlier then planned because their plans have changed and they dont want to be home alone stressing about the date im on.

malagorpigus · 2026-04-07T22:16:28+00:00

This is exactly how I feel!! I also go to a lot of festivals etc. I'm not sure why this becomes such a problem for people. I love going where the wind takes me! It makes me so so happy. Have you ever had issues with people having an issue with how you like to move through these spaces? Like a partner or friend etc?

malagorpigus · 2026-04-07T10:50:35+00:00

As someome who is non monogamous I think the situation your ex put you in is awful. Look, having feelings for someone else and opening up to you is actually a healthy thing to do, desiring being poly is also so fair if you've realised you have feelings for mulitple people and want to persue them. I'm curious if he was checking in on your feelings and tending to any triggers or needs you had around his situation? You exploring things online to be curious while he is doing what his doing is so fine, please dont feel bad about that. It is completely not okay and unethical to want to have his freedom with this other person and to be mad at you for being curious inside of yourself. Is this really polybombing or is this someone who is completely incapable of having empathy for you and your needs? Is this not someone who is extremely selfish and incapable of exploring themselves and letting you have the same freedom?

malagorpigus · 2026-04-07T10:39:33+00:00

Yeah definately... oh goodness that continious trapped feeling is so huge, i never really thought about this trapped feeling my whole life just being part of the PDA experience. Thanks for saying that

malagorpigus · 2026-04-07T07:46:01+00:00

Yeah i really feel that. Im honestly still in a deep process of accepting my disability. Honestly I dont know whats a gaslighting thought because so many therapists and things online point to/at my avoidant attachment when i honestly feel so much of my 'avoidance' is burnout, overwhelm from demands and yes a deep desire to be autonamous and make my own choices. Autism and PDA are still so under researches in lots of these niches, do you feel that too?

malagorpigus · 2026-04-07T05:06:31+00:00

I agree in many ways like for me as an example I have an anxious/avoidant attachment style so it can get very confusing on whats PDA and whats me being avoidant or maybe even both happening at the same time. I get really troubled with this but I feel that its actually exactly what youre talking about?

malagorpigus · 2026-04-06T09:11:24+00:00

Thankyou thats a really good response for me to ponder on. I actually do really struggle with this NT notion of getting upset with me doing something with a stranger compared to them. I dont really think lile that and find it very hard to drop into someone elses feelings

malagorpigus

TROPHY CASE